“Tell me how this happened again Kevin? I’m still kind of confused.” Howie asked, looking at his friend with a sense of awe and confusion.
Kevin let out a big sigh but was careful not to move around too much as he did, “It’s all still a little hazy to me D. But basically we were at a bar.” ‘
“You and Nick.”
“Uh huh…and he was talking to this girl. She seemed nice enough but there was just something about her. She looked off to me, kind of like how I picture a Nick stalker to look like.”
Howie tried not to laugh; he couldn’t even believe he had the urge with the seriousness of the situation. “So what happened next?”
“I followed them around and she kept giving me these intense looks all night long, like I was ruining her fun.”
“Were you?”
“No, but Nick kind of grew tired of her. I think she was making him uneasy with those weird eyes of hers.”
“Right, what color were they again?”
“Magenta.”
“You think that would have been enough for the boy to back off at the very beginning.”
“Yeah, we’re talking about Nick…” Kevin paused and let out a small groan, “My neck is really beginning to hurt.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Keeping me company is a big help, thanks a lot man. I appreciate it.”
“Think they will find her?” Howie asked as he sat across from his friend.
“I hope so.”
“How did she get you into this predicament exactly?”
“After Nick ditched her, she started following me around. I tried to just ignore her at first but it kept getting harder to do so. I walked into the men’s room, knowing she couldn’t follow me in there.”
“But she did.”
Kevin nodded at his friend. “She waltzed right in like she owned the place and then she locked the door behind her. I knew I was in trouble at that point.”
Kevin closed his eyes at the surreal memory of what came next. Saying it out loud made him feel like a madman but he had to get it out there. It’s not like Howie wouldn’t believe him and he did have proof. When he opened his eyes, he was ready to spill the beans.
“I looked at her and told her that if she didn’t turn around and leave I would call security. She laughed at me and then next thing I knew she had me up against the wall.
‘I was going to use the blonde one, but you’ll just have to do.’ She said to me as she held me hostage against this wall. I outweighed her by at least a hundred pounds but that didn’t matter, she had almost a hypnotic quality about her and despite her weird eyes, she was absolutely gorgeous.”
Howie nodded at him but then gasped when Kevin let go of the wall for a second. The entire room shook with so much force that he ended up on the floor. “Sorry about that, my arms are getting tired. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this Howie.”
“They’ll find her Kevin, I promise.”
“Yeah…”
The way his voice drifted off sent panic through Howie, “Keep telling me the story....”
Kevin nodded, “Right, so she moves in to kiss me but I push her away and tell her that I have a girlfriend who I intend to marry one day.
‘You won’t be marrying anyone I’m afraid,’ she said to me as she thrust my arms against the wall. ‘You have a new job which requires you to stay right here for all eternity.’ She laughed as she pulled away from me. She smelled like sulfur, I’m not sure how I missed that when she pulled me close but her stench made me almost wretch.
‘Uh uh uh…better be careful and not move those arms…that could be a disaster and a half.’ She said to me as she wagged her finger in front of my face. So, I asked her what she meant by that and she laughed at me. ‘You are the only thing preventing the universe from collapsing in on itself right now.’ She said so matter of factly you would think she just told me she had to go the bathroom or something.
Of course I laughed at her and she answered with a shrug, ‘Don’t believe me’ she said. ‘Go ahead take your hands away from the wall and see what happens.’
So I did…and sure enough the second I let go, the room began to shake, I mean really shake. She laughed the entire time until I finally put my arms back up against the wall. Once I did, the shaking stopped.”
“Like what happened just now?” Howie asked.
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
“Tell me about it. Once the ground settled she walked back over to me and leaned in real close, ‘Believe me now?’ she asked in the sexiest voice I have ever heard. I told her I didn’t understand what was happening and that it had to be some kind of trick. I insisted that I was being Punk’d and demanded that Ashton come out and show his face. None of that happened though, which I’m pretty sure you already figured out.”
Howie answered with a slow nod. Kevin could tell his friend was trying to process all of this information while refraining from calling in the loony bin to take him away.
“She went on to tell me that her name was Asiago…”
“Like the cheese?”
“Yup, like the cheese…and that she was a demon sent from her father to try to collapse the world. Apparently he felt like it was time for the Armageddon but he was too impatient to go through all the fighting etc…he figured he’d just get his daughter to do it for him.”
“Huh, that seems anti climactic.”
“I know…”
“What did you say to her?”
“After the, are you fucking insane or something?”
“Yeah.”
“I said why me.”
“And what did she say?”
“She looked at me and smiled once again, I swear D, she was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. As much as I love Kris, I would have done her right here on the bathroom floor if I had the chance.
‘As much as I love my father, I hate the idea of having this world end without at least a little fun and games so, I came here looking for a guy who I thought might want to try to save the world. After seeing how protective you were of your little friend, I knew it had to be you. It seems to me like you enjoy carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, so now I’m giving you your chance… although technically it’s more like your hands.’
As crazy as that all sounded, I knew she was telling me the truth. I felt it, like I do now. I can tell that beyond these walls there are bigger things that now I am in charge of. I feel the magnetic pull. I wish I could describe it to you, it’s like being shocked and suction cupped all at the same time.”
“Sounds painful to me.” Howie said, giving Kevin a sympathetic look.
“I shook my head at her and asked her to please let me go, but it was too late. She turned to me and blew me a kiss and wished me luck. She said maybe she’d come back in a decade or two to see how I was doing and if when she got here and there was no here to go to, she’d have her answer. Shortly after that, is when Nick came in and found me. They’ve been looking for her ever since.”
“I’m sure it’s only a matter of time Kevin, just be patient.”
“Time’s running out. It’s been 12 hours and I can barely feel my arms anymore.” And Howie believed him as he watched his friend slowly move from his standing position to crouching down, making sure the whole time that his hands never left the walls that prevented the universe from collapsing onto itself.
“Who would have thought that the epicenter of the universe was in a bathroom at The Viper Room?” Howie said after a few minutes of coming to terms with what was about to happen.
Despite the pain he was in and the near exhaustion sweeping over his body, Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to get in this stupid place.”
Howie nodded and smiled at his friend as they both just sat there and waited for the other three to come back with help. Help they both knew wouldn’t come.
