“Rehab”
These people are
Freaking me out, these days
It’s getting hectic everywhere that I go
They won’t leave me alone
There’s things they all wanna know
I'm paranoid of all the people I meet
Why are they talking to me?
And why can’t anyone see
I just wanna live
Don’t really care about the things that they say
Don’t really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live…
- Good Charlotte, “I Just Wanna Live”
Chapter Fourteen: Baby, It’s You
Valentine’s Day. Evil holiday. With someone or not, the whole damn day is stupid. It is. Created for hallmark to make money by convincing people that they need to show their love one day a year rather than all year long. I’m in the other master bedroom of the main house. On a wing opposite of where Nick is. He had a point. Though I don’t think he realizes I ain’t staying in Florida forever. Just until I know I can handle moving back to LA and that Haven can too. So I’m thinking when she’s a year old. Or maybe less, like seven months. I miss California. Less bullshit drama. But here’s the problem. I really like Luke. So if I move, that means lots and lots of distance. Should I just buy my own place and stay out here? I’ve been putting it off, again and again. I know once I do, that it’ll confirm that I will be back in Florida for good. That’s why I agreed to Nick’s idea. Because I know I can’t live with Asshole forever. I’d fucking shoot myself after awhile.
It’s just this, staying with him will constantly remind me of going back to California. And yeah I don’t know if I’ll even be with Luke that long. But I have a hunch, I feel like I can be open with him. I hate being so guarded like I am. That was my fuck-up with asshole. I couldn’t say how I felt. Product of my upbringing I guess. My mother could never tell me and I can’t say how I feel either. Distance is safe. Even with Nick, whom I’d known forever when we dated. But Luke, I feel close, that I can slowly let down walls as time goes by.
Here it is in a nutshell. Cause I keep on rambling on and not getting to the down and dirty shit. The truth. Between Luke, the fact the evil psychotic whore is now out of Nick’s life -thanks to the bitch with common sense thank you very much- and I’m due any day now, life is, we’ll say interesting. Though I think a small speck of me hoped Nick would morph back into who he used to be before Lisette and all that bullshit. He didn’t. He’s still asshole. Aight, anyway, I’ll give it to you straight.
I don’t have a damn clue what I really want.
Not something a girl should be thinking when she’s ready to pop right. And I do mean ready to fucking pop. I swear to god. I’m going to lose it soon. I can feel it. And I’m stuck having to deal with another Valentine’s Day. I never liked it, whether I had someone or not.
So, unless Luke has something planned, I’m watching horror movies all day.
Yes I’m sadistic. Sometimes it’s good to be me.
********
I fucking hate this day. Aight usually I don’t but like I need a day all about love and all the bullshit it includes? Especially right now when my now ex showed me how much she fucking used me till I was drained dry. Plus after fucking up a relationship that might have actually fucking worked and twisted it so now it changed that girl into someone I can’t stand? I don’t need it. So I been working on this room near Kayden’s for the past couple weeks. Turning this shit into a nursery.
Holy shit, Carter cares about this kid. Mind blow job ain’t it?
I’ve bee painting the walls into this design of princesses. I haven’t done anything with art in a long ass time. Not since those Backstreet project comic books I did seven fucking years ago. Always about the music. Never show you can do anything other than music Nick. They like you dumb. The blonde who’s a bit of a space case, but who’s pretty and goofy so that shit won’t matter. AJ’s supposed to have the mini fridge with him when he brings it over. So it can store the bottles and formula shit that has to stay cold. I got the changing table in here, and the crib. They got covers over ‘em since I’m painting the walls and I don’t want Kayden to see it.
She went somewhere, don’t know where. Not the typical, she fucking hates today. One year…aight this is funny. Last year, when we were still dating, I went and set up a murder scene for her, and the body was this giant cupid doll I found. So I covered it in fake blood, put the murder weapon next to it. I never saw her enjoy it more. She busted up laughing.
I felt my sidekick vibrate so I flipped it open. I don’t feel like memory bullshit. And it’s probably the same damn person who’s been calling all day. Fucking thing has been ringing off the hook. So this time I didn’t even bother to check who it was before answering. That was my fuckup.
“Nickolas Gene Carter! When were you going to tell me?!”
Fucking hell. Now I get to deal with my mother.
This day needs to just die.
*************
“Mom, mom, relax, I would have told you.”
“When, after the baby was born?”
I rolled my eyes as I pushed the cart around the store. Magazines were before my eyes. I can’t believe this shit. In Touch, OK! Magazine, Star, Teen People, US Magazine, People, and more all had similar articles with headlines I wanted to tear apart. Damn them all. This was the crap all over the place.
New Backstreet Baby on the way! Hear the real reason why not only the new BSB album is delayed, but why Nick Carter and ESPN personality Kayden Jamison kept it all secret.
Oopsie Baby! Nick Carter’s affair with ex Kayden Jamison while dating Lisette results in Backstreet Bundle!
Creating News of Her Own! ESPN journalist Kayden Jamison becomes the side woman for old friend and ex flame Backstreet Boy Nick Carter! Ok! Delves into why she kept his identity as the father of her child secret from the rest of the world.
He Cheated! An old ex becomes a new affair. Why pop music’s golden couple, Nick Carter and Lisette Marielle called it quits. Hear about Nick’s reluctance at fatherhood when a very pregnant Kayden Jamison shows up at his door saying she is bearing his child. Is her baby really his?
Don’t Want You Back Exclusive interview with rising popstar Lisette Marielle about her heartbreak over Nick Carter. Where she talks about how he cheated on her and as a result how Nick’s about to father another woman’s child.
Who’s Your Daddy? The father of Kayden’s child revealed. Now, Nick Carter is about to be a father!
I’m not even kidding; the articles are really that bad. The first one is from Teen People, and the last one is from People. At least those are fucking accurate. The other three are from the lovely trash called tabloids. One, Nick did NOT cheat on Lisette with me. He cheated on me with Lisette! Do the pregnancy math! Bastards. And I know she’s the one who fucking squealed. Yeah People got a reliable source, hers. And I bet they talked to my doctors. That would explain the calls I got today asking for interviews. Bet Nick’s is ringing off the hook by now. I’ve got messages asking about buying the first photos of the baby already. Fuck, I’m not that big, I know if they didn’t know it was Nick’s, this wouldn’t be so major. Hence why I never said it even after Nick took responsibility. I ain’t Angelina Jolie or Katie Holmes. I don’t want to do that shit! And I don’t want to deal with my mom’s call right now.
“Mom, calm down. You knew I was pregnant.”
“Yeah but I didn’t know the father was Nicky of all people!”
“If I had my say right now it wouldn’t be. I didn’t tell anyone but Nick.” And Kevin. And Mel. Oh…well Luke found out by accident. “I don’t know how the media caught hold of this.” Liar. Liar. Pants on fire. I’m a horrible person I know. But I’ve said it before, mom and I can’t open up well. Especially to each other. So I never told her how Nick was the father, or the fucked up explosion that was the end of our relationship.
“I’m coming down there.”
“Mom, why? I’m fine, just…stuck with a five day old child inside of me!” Yes I’m five days late. And I’m ready to kill someone.
“More reason I should come, I’m about to be a grandmother.”
“But you weren’t coming down before. Why now that you know the father is Nick? He did step up; he’s actually going to be part of the baby’s life.”
“No I was, I just couldn’t get a hold of you for the past few days.”
“Oh….well…great.” Thank you lord. I have another call. “Mom, I’ll um...call you back.” I know she loves me, and she was never the horrible disaster of a mother we call Jane Carter. But our relationship was always blocked by this wall she put up, one I ended up learning how to do, having been raised around that.
I switched over to the other call. “Hello?” Please don’t be a reporter, please for the love of all things pickles right now. I don’t want to even try to deal with that shit.
“Hey, hey Kay you alright?”
I smiled. “Hey Luke…um it’s just been a trying day.”
“I saw it on TV, and it had to happen on a day you hate to begin with.”
I blinked. Oh fucking great. I should’ve known, E! would kill for that kind of news just like that whore would for publicity. I just, damn hormones. Why did this have to happen now? I’m not naïve, I know I’m a media personality, I know Nick is famous and what comes with that. I knew this would happen with time. But I expected it either earlier in my pregnancy when he first found out or after the baby was born. Having this happen now, when I can pop any damn day, when I have a FIVE DAY OLD CHILD INSIDE OF ME, is just bad fucking timing! I hate these damn hormones. I feel like crying.
Someone remind me why I thought going into broadcast journalism, and dating my now ex best friend who happened to be famous was a good idea again?
“I could fucking kill the bitch! This is the worst timing ever and…”
“And that’s why she planned it this way, I know. She knew when you’re due; Nick had to have told her. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had something to do with this-”
No. This was going to overshadow his album majorly. “He didn’t, he wanted this quiet for now as bad as I did.”
“I’m going to cheer you up; I’ll be there in about an hour?”
I tossed the magazines in the cart. I’m curious about the fucking lies. Okay? I’m a sadist, I already said that. Plus pickles because hello, they’re amazingly yummy. Okay so after this pregnancy thing is done I’m gonna likely hate the little fuckers but right now? They’re gold. I head to the self checkout line. The last thing I need is for someone to realize I’m buying the damn magazines because they’re about me and Nick. The phone rang again. Fucking hell.
“Is this Kayden Jamison?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes this is her.”
“This is OK! Magazine and we were wanting to set an interview up-”
“No I’m not doing a damn interview right now. No Nick’s not either.” (I don’t care if he would or not, not now, they can all wait since they all couldn’t wait to publish this crap anyway.) “I’m about to fucking pop, I come to the store to see mine and Nick’s faces plastered all over the place. So fuck no! You fucking liars already printed a bunch of shit, stick to that you pathetic wanna be journalists! You have no integrity, no truth to your stories so kiss my and I quote Nick, ‘rosy white ass!’” I hung up. Damn that felt good.
Five bucks says I’m quoted later saying all this shit. I don’t care! Just leave me the hell alone. So I did the smart thing, I turned my phone off.
Talk to the voice mail bitches.
**********
“Yes mom, it’s my baby.”
“Nickolas you know I never liked that girl-”
I stared at the phone. Whoa I have a shit load of voice mails. Man my PR team is going to be pissed I never told them any of this. I heard my mom rant on. She’s just fucking pissed cause it means she gets less money. I hate my mother, really do. I kept painting the wall; I’m already late on this shit. Kayden was due a few days ago. I just got fucking lucky she ain’t had the kid yet. “Mom, the baby is mine, and I’m going to be a parent. Something you never fucking tried!” I heard myself screaming. That woman always makes me lose control.
“You should get full custody and let me raise her.” Is this woman on fucking drugs?
“One, Kayden wants that baby, so hell no. Two, I ain’t gonna let you fuck her up as badly as you did me! Three I can handle this.” Fuck I don’t know if that last one is true. I keep fucking freaking about it, but I can’t be worse than my mother.
“Yo! Nick you in here!?” Saved by the AJ.
“Mom…Mom…Mom! I have to go.”
“I’m GOING to be the one who raises that child.” That’s it; she lost what tiny sanity she had.
“No, you’re not.”
“I’ll fight for-”
“I don’t care! You can’t fucking do shit! Bye.” I threw the sidekick on the floor. Hey it didn’t break, score one for me. I looked at AJ who looked tired after lugging the mini-fridge up here. He stared at me, with that damn Kevin look.
“I’m fine aight, just dealing with HER.” he knew who I meant.
“I can’t believe you’re doing all this.”
I shrugged, opening the box to look inside. “Don’t have to like the mother to love the baby. And it’s helping me deal with all the drama shit. Just wish people would stop calling my phone.”
He tilted his sunglasses down at me. “Dude, you sound surprised they’re calling you.”
“I am, I didn’t know till my fucking mother called that all that shit got out. Fuck it, let’s just work.”
*********
We walked along the beach; our shoes kicked aside, the cool breeze blowing about us. One thing about the Apollo Beach area it was way more upper class so admittedly the actual beach was nicer than Tampa Bay. It was nippy, being February and all but I didn’t mind. A trip to the arcade later was on the agenda, just to goof, be silly and forget the media drama now. I’m still amazed people care so much. Well okay, the version the whore told although untrue is scandalous. I already had PR people call to ask for a statement from me. And I got a call from Nick’s people too. They got the same answer, let them talk, I don’t give a damn. That, or ask Nick to make one up for me. This couldn’t hurt my career any, I’m on maternity leave. Meaning by the time I do come back, this will have blown over. Likely for the next scandal from Lindsey Lohan or something. Nick though, this will either really help or really hurt. Don’t tell him, but I feel a little bad about that.
“Still thinking about it huh?” My boyfriend’s voice interrupted my thoughts. I think that’s what he was. It was so new, and I didn’t want labels. Labels = scary.
“Just fucking surreal man. This would be news either way, but it wouldn’t be as major if the father was Joe Schmo instead of Nick Carter. I forgot how much of a splash the asshole makes in the media.” Boy did I.
“It’s only going to get crazier you know.”
I nodded. “Once Haven is born, the paparazzi stalkers are gonna hound for a picture of her first.” I glanced over at him. “You sure you’re willing to be with me with all that chaos? It’s Nick’s daughter, so it’ll always be there in some form.”
Luke just gave the warm smile that always seemed to send those warm little tingles down my spine. He hand touched my very large belly endearingly. “I haven’t been scared away yet right? I’m not gonna be. It’ll be a crazy adventure but…”
I laughed, covering his hands with my own, resting on my stomach. “But you love adventures. I know.”
It was nice, not as nice as it would be on any other day but Valentine’s Day, but still good. I admit the best Valentines I ever had was the horrific murder of Cupid, but that’s a memory I don’t feel like reliving. I’ve done too much of that lately. Of course what spoiled it all was when I felt a ton of fluid rush past my legs. Oh shit. Oh my god. Oh fuck.
“Holy fucking shit-eaters.”
“What, what is it?”
“My fucking water broke! Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I gotta call Nick. Oh fuck I can’t do this. Ahhhh! Son of a bitch that fucking hurts!”
Luke, damn him, he looked slightly amused. I’m not! I’m fucking panicking! I called Nick as I was led back to Luke’s car. I’m amazed I was able to even dial the number. I had to have Luke lead me or I’d fucking get lost or something. Oh my god. Is it too late to say I can’t do this? Shit. Ahhhhh dammit that hurt!
I can’t do this!
**********
The phone fucking rang again and I almost didn’t answer. I looked over at AJ, who was helping paint in colors on the stuff I already sketched on the wall. He tossed the phone to me. Bastard almost made me spill paint on the floor. “It’s the bitch.”
He must mean Kay. I answered, figuring it must be important since I piss her off so much. For a moment all I can hear are voices in the background.
“Come on, try to calm down Kayden, do your breathing.”
“My breathing does JACK SHIT! I can’t do this!”
“It’s okay, I’m here for you baby.”
I felt my teeth clench. “Hello?!”
“Nick! I’m about to have the baby! This is your fucking fault! Get your ass down here! We’re going to South Bay Hospital.” And then click, nothing. Gee thanks, great way to find out I’m about to be fucking father.
Holy shit. What did I just say?! What did she say?!
I’m about to be a father!
Author's Chapter Notes:
The real chapter, I promise :). This one was a little harder to write as will be the next one. So, I hope you enjoy, lemme know what you think as always.
