The Dancing and Singing German Turkeys  

I let out a sigh as I rubbed my stomach. I always do this, every single year and it doesn’t even matter where I am or who I’m with. I overindulge ‘just a little’ but that’s what this holiday is all about, right? Surely when the pilgrims made their way over to America this is what they had in mind. “Let us set forth to the unexplored territory where we shall lay down our roots, eat turkey and pumpkin pie until we are ready to vomit and all shall be right with the world.”

“Nicky, you’re so disgusting.” I guess I should mention that I farted after I made that exclamation. Another rule of holidays is that it’s okay to pass gas and or burp in front of your family members, showing them that the meal lived up to your expectations. “Oh my God, the smell is going to kill me!”

Howie in this family is like the little old aunt who feels the need to gripe about everything while handing you sweaters with reindeer all over them.

“Dude, D’s got a point. That was pretty rank.” If Howie was the old aunt, AJ was the old, bald uncle who told stories that you just knew weren’t true. You know the kind I’m talking about? ‘Well the other day I was in my shower when all of the sudden a shark came out of nowhere…’

“Sorry, I am full.” I rubbed my belly once more.

“Probably not anymore after that…jeez, are your pants brown now?”

“As much as I love this conversation, can we move on?” Brian, my mother.

“Did you get a chance to talk to your family yet Bri?”

He glanced over at AJ as he gulped some hot cider and shook his head. “I keep trying but I can’t get them. They are probably outside playing football.”

“Is Kevin with them?” I asked. I mean he isn’t with us anymore, he should at least be with Brian’s family, since they are cousins, you know?

“Nope, not this year. Because of the baby, they are just staying home.”

“Too bad he’s not here; he has no idea what he’s missing.” I looked over at the dessert tray and thought just for a second about putting another one of those mini pineapple tarts in my mouth, but I stopped myself. Yay to self control.

“Yup, nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like a ton of different sausages.” Brian rolled his eyes at me. I felt bad for him. I knew he hated being here, especially without his wife and kid. It took a lot of will power for him to tell them to stay at home. I’m proud of him.

“They were surprisingly good though.” And they were. Sometimes it’s better not to know what you are eating, I always say.

“Turkey would have been better.” Brian had a point.

“I agree. Do they not have turkeys in Germany?” I asked in all honesty.

You would think it might have been a stupid question but the way they all looked at each other, maybe it wasn’t. “No idea.” Howie finally answered as he crossed his legs and chugged down his beer. We were in Germany, we had lot’s of beer. Well three of us anyway. Okay actually two of us. Brian didn’t feel like having beer today.

“I like beer. They put beer on everything here.” My random thought for the day.

“Yes they do.” AJ replied, “Which is why I can’t eat anything here ever!”

“What are you talking about? You just pigged out on this winner schnitzel stuff.”

“Nick, why do you always put stuff at the end of everything when you refer to food?”

I looked over at Howie and shrugged, “What do you mean?” I asked grabbing a pineapple tart, okay I know…shut up.

“Whenever you talk about food, you always put the word stuff on the end. Like ‘I enjoy this tuna stuff. Can you pass me that stuff in the bowl?’ You use stuff a lot.”

“And the point is?”

“Is that you use stuff a lot.”

“Okay then.” Howie is getting old. I say this out of sheer love for the boy.

“What time is it back home?” AJ decided he needed to have a serious lay down as he pushed me off the couch and stretched out.

“I believe it’s around 3 there.” Brian answered, “That’s usually when our little football game goes on.”

“Oh.”

“I hate when we celebrate the holidays in a different country.”

I felt the need to get up off the floor and go sit next to Brian. This wasn’t such an easy task since I was in my ultra lazy mode and Brian was sitting on a recliner meant for one person, but when you gotta do something, you gotta do it. I plopped onto the recliner which caused it and him to groan at the same time.

“Nick get off!” He said as he laughed, pushing me to the floor. Why is everyone pushing me to the floor today? Do they not remember that I injured myself?

“I just thought you needed to cuddle or something.”

“Not with you though, NEVER with you buddy. I love you but I don’t LOVE you.”

“Nick can’t tell the difference between the two.” Old mean Aunt Howie said.

“Leave the boy alone, he tries.”

“Thanks Uncle AJ.”

“What the hell did you just call me?”

“Nothing.” Changing the subject, “I bet they don’t have turkeys here. I mean I’ve never seen a turkey roaming around the streets of Berlin or anything, have you?”

“We’re back on that again?” Howie asked as he checked his love messages from his very soon to be wife.

“Nickolas, how often do you see turkeys roaming around your neighborhood? Do they gobble around snapping and dancing like the gangs from West Side Story?”

“HA!” AJ let out such a big laugh I thought he had exploded or something. “That was pretty funny Rok. Now I picture dancing and singing turkeys in my head.”

“Aww Howie did you hear that? He sees you in his head!” I had to get him back for the love comment but then I had to quickly duck as a pillow came flying at my head.

“Hey! Do you guys not remember what happened to me the other day?” I asked, making sure to rub my eye for the added effect.

“How can we not? It is an only you thing to do.” AJ sat up and decided to take a mini tart himself.

“Okay, so then why do you feel the need to keep injuring me?”

“Nicky, you always say how we are your big brothers right? Well that’s all we’re doing. We are being your big brothers.”

“I guess you are right. I love you guys.”

“We know.” Howie answered.

“Don’t you love me?”

“Oh God.”

“Well?”

“I’d love you more if you stopped babbling.”

“That means yes! He loves me…he really loves me!”

“Nick…just…never mind.”

Soon an odd quiet came into the room. I believe it was the first bout of silence we had today. From the time we got up this morning, roaming around from interview to interview until we ended up here in our hotel suite with a feast made for a king, we had done nothing but talked.

The silence felt comfortable, just like being around the three of them. I didn’t mind being in Germany for Thanksgiving, just like I won’t mind if we are stuck somewhere else for Christmas. These guys were my family and as long as we were together, life was good.

“If there are turkeys here, you think they say gobble gobble or something else?” Eh, I said the silence felt comfortable but that didn’t mean I would let it stay that way.