But you’re caught in my head like a thorn on a vine
To forever torment me and I wonder why
Do I wish I'd never known you at all?
~The Ocean by The Bravery
Brian leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was beginning to get a headache and not the type that could just be pushed aside by Advil. It was the type of headache that wouldn’t go away until you woke up the next morning. It was the type of headache to put him in a very bad mood.
He blocked out the sounds of clinking forks and of the two women sitting across from him talking animatedly to his fiancée to his right. He blocked out Leighanne’s constant moans of pleasure as she scooped samples of cake into her mouth.
Brian couldn’t honestly understand why Leighanne couldn’t pick out the cake for the reception herself, and he vocally voiced his thoughts on this subject. She insisted that it was their day and that they should experience everything together. It was important that they pick out a cake as a couple because, for some unseen reason, it would somehow determine the course of the rest of their lives. Or so she made it seem.
Brian sat there, not saying a word, trying to have a couple moments to himself before Leighanne asked for his opinion once again. He envisioned being at home in his comfortable bed away from everything. Away from the chaos that surrounded him. He envisioned relaxation and peace. He envisioned bright blue eyes staring at him intensely, but with a subtle softness to them. They soothed him down to his core and for a second, just a split second, he had forgotten where he was.
Leighanne gently nudged Brian, “Brian.”
Brian quickly snapped open his eyes and stared into the eyes of his soon-to-be wife. He felt a pang of guilt when he noticed that the eyes he was just envisioning weren’t the ones staring back into his.
“You okay baby?” she asked, taking his hand and squeezing it.
Brian lightly smiled at her. He sat up, squeezing her hand back, “Yeah, just have a bit of a headache.”
She frowned slightly, touching the side of his face, “We’re almost done here and then we can go home alright? We don’t need to stop by the store on the way home if you don’t want to.”
Brian nodded, “Alright.”
“But first, what do you think of this one?” she asked, raising a fork with a piece of cake on it, waiting for Brian to take a bite.
Brian shook his head, “I don’t think I can eat anymore Leigh. What do you think?”
She looked disappointed, but accepted his refusal all the same, “It’s okay I guess.”
Brian looked over the table at chunks of different cakes, thinking it was the perfect opportunity to wrap this up, “Well, which do you want to go with?”
“Which one do you want to go with?” she asked. The two women across from Brian and Leighanne sat silently, waiting.
Brian shrugged, “They’re all good. You can pick.”
Leighanne sighed and Brian immediately recognized the frustration in it. He had heard that sigh enough these past few years to know what it had meant the moment it came out of her mouth. It was any wonder why he couldn’t see that sigh coming before it even happened.
“Brian, there has to be one you liked out of all these. They can’t all just taste the same to you,” she said a bit forcefully.
He sighed, looking around the table, trying to pinpoint one particular cake. Unfortunately he couldn’t really remember what they had all tasted like individually. How could he when his mind was elsewhere? How could he when all he kept thinking about was her eyes and her smile?
“I liked the Red Velvet a lot,” he finally said.
Her facial features relaxed a little bit, “Yeah, I like that one too. But what about the German chocolate?”
Brian had known that his opinion wasn’t going to matter in the long run. Though Leighanne liked to think everything they did was together, it ended up just being her. He was fine with that though. At least, to some extent. All he could do was agree with her. If he didn’t, her happiness would waver and he had no intention of causing that.
“I really liked that one too,” Brian replied. She smiled and nodded, turning back to the two women, who were staring at them intently.
Leighanne pointed to one of the plates containing the German chocolate cake and said, “I think we’re going to go with that one.”
Brian was relieved that a decision had finally been made, even if he really wasn’t part of it. He liked to avoid as much conflict as possible. If it made Leighanne happy, then it made him happy. He didn’t want to jeopardize that in any way. He just didn’t care enough. But then, maybe that was the problem. He was supposed to care, so why didn’t he?
Leslie wrapped her arms around Nick’s neck, kissing him softly. He kissed back, pleased that they were so close to one another.
“Thank you for the flowers,” she softly said, hugging him.
He still held the bouquet in his hands, but he figured out a way to hug her tightly all the same, “You bring out the romantic boyfriend in me, what can I say?”
She pulled back, grabbing the bouquet, smiling up at him. His heart melted every time she smiled. He didn’t know why, but it did. Maybe it was because he knew that at that moment, he was the cause of that smile. That sweet, sincere, loving smile. It was his smile. It was like a small gift to him every time it happened and it made his heart flutter each time. He had never had that happen before to him.
She pecked him once more on the lips and then turned to walk into her apartment, “If you keep this up Nickolas Gene, you might just have me falling for you quicker than you expected.”
He loved it when she called him Nickolas Gene, which was funny because he hated it when it came from anyone else. But the way she said it made it sound, well, sexy.
He followed her into the kitchen, grabbing her around the waist and bringing her to him close. He kissed her on the cheek, “I better bring you flowers everyday then.”
Leslie looked up at Nick, a bit surprised at his forwardness, but unable to take him completely serious. He was flirting like he always was, but he was a bit more intense today. It wasn’t a bad thing, but it was a change nonetheless. She decided she should change the subject.
She kissed him on the cheek back and then moved away in search of a vase. When she found one, she filled it with water, and commenced cutting the ends off of the roses.
“What time is dinner tonight?” she asked.
Nick had jumped up on top of the island. He swung his feet, watching her as she worked, “7 I think. We’re going to that steak house downtown. Ever been?”
Leslie shook her head, “I don’t think I have.”
“You’ll love it. They have the best chocolate cake, hands down.”
Leslie laughed, “I love chocolate cake!”
“I know you do,” he smiled. She smiled back, placing the flowers in the vase and rearranging them.
“What do you want to do until then?” Leslie asked, looking over at him.
A mischievous grin spread across his face. He wriggled his eyebrows, “I could think of a few things.”
Leslie couldn’t help but smile and blush, “I’m serious Nick.”
“So am I!” he said, still grinning at her. He loved to see her squirm.
“We could go watch a movie,” Leslie suggested.
Nick realized she wasn’t in the mood, so he didn’t push it. He nodded, “That sounds perfect. I’ll even watch a chick flick.”
Leslie gasped, “Just for little ol’ me? You’re too kind Mr. Carter.”
He laughed and she went back to putting flowers in the vase. There was silence between them for a few moments, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable lull. It was an opportunity to bring something else up. Leslie knew where she wanted the conversation to go next, but she was unsure if she should do it. She was afraid that Nick might suspect a strange undertone, but then why would he? It was curiosity wasn’t it? But then why did she feel so guilty wanting to talk about Brian? The kind of curiosity she had towards him wasn’t just stranger based, wanting to get to know him better. This kind of curiosity had a motive to it.
She tentatively started up the conversation, “So how long have Brian and Leighanne been together?”
Nick blew out a bunch of air, as if to signify that he wasn’t quite sure, but he was thinking, “Man, I don’t know to tell you the truth. They’ve been together for years.”
“That’s a long time,” Leslie replied.
Nick laughed, “You’re telling me. She’s like a sister to me now.”
“So she’s nice then?” Leslie asked.
She glanced at Nick and saw him shrug, “She always has been to me.”
Leslie nodded, “When is their wedding?”
“Next summer. Brian said something about her wanting to be a June bride,” Nick said, waving it off like it didn’t matter.
Leslie smiled, “I want to be a June bride too. Looks like we already have something in common.”
He raised his eyebrow at her, sensing that this conversation had more meaning then she was trying to let off. He was beginning to recognize her small quirks. The way her tone changed to like it did now, suggesting other unsaid thoughts, was one of them, “Leslie, are you concerned you guys won’t get along?”
She averted her gaze, placing the vase on the kitchen table, “A little bit.”
“But why? There’s nothing to worry about. If she likes you, she likes you, if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t, but chances are she’s going to love you. Leigh isn’t the type of person to be a bitch to people. She’s friendly.”
Leslie nodded, “I know.”
And she did know, but she couldn’t help but feel determined to fall into her good graces. She was afraid that who she was in Leighanne’s eyes reflected what Brian would one day think of her. It was silly to think Leigh had that much sway over Brian, but she couldn’t help but think it anyway. She was over analyzing, but that was what women did. Analyze, think, worry.
The problem was she was over analyzing something she shouldn’t have. She couldn’t stop herself and she wanted to. She adored Nick, but she still couldn’t get Brian’s blue eyes out of her head. The image of him standing with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at her so intently as she danced, was present every time she closed her eyes. It hadn't been a normal stare, because if it had been, she wouldn’t be stewing around in her thoughts like she was now. His stare was entrancing. She remembered how she couldn’t stop looking back at him. She had felt a connection with Brian across the room that day. And she had felt that in his eyes, he had wanted her. And guiltily, she had wanted him too.
But then, she knew that was nonsense. Brian loved Leighanne, Brian was getting married to Leighanne, and she herself was happy with Nick. Happy with his eyes, happy with his kisses, happy with his touch. Because at least she knew that all of those were hers. At least she knew the feelings in them were real. And so she pushed all Brian thoughts aside, and went to Nick, letting him wrap his arms around her. She relaxed into him and closed her eyes, breathing in his cologne that she loved so much, ignoring the intense blue eyes that had immediately sprung up in her mind, making her heart skip a beat.
