“I’m so sorry I had to call you back here, Alicia.”

Ali smiled a nervous smile and sat down by the desk in Dr. Martins’ office. Nick sat down next to her.

Dr. Martins looks as though he was thinking hard about what to say, and Ali got even more nervous just by looking at him.

“This never happens here at the clinic, but I am really sorry to say that there was a mix-up at the lab. Some of your blood samples were mistakenly traded with someone else’s.” He looked apologetically at Ali.

She could tell he felt really bad.

“So… what does that mean?” She asked, afraid to know the answer.

“It means that unfortunately, I was wrong. You’re not ok Alicia…” He looked down for a few seconds. “You have leukaemia.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Leukaemia?” Ali whispered feeling her heart beating faster.

“Blood cancer.” Dr. Martins continued. “It means that your bone marrow is producing too many white blood cells. In your case, this has already started to affect your organs.”

“I….” Ali didn’t know what to say. Her whole body suddenly felt numb and all the sounds around her became distant. She lost sense of what was going on around her, but she thought she could feel Nick’s hand on her shoulder. Everything felt very unreal.

“Oh my God…” she was able to whisper. Within seconds the world had crashed around her. She wanted to cry, wanted to scream, to run away from everything, but she felt as if she was glued to the chair. Things around her started to become blurry, and the sounds coming from Dr. Martins and Nick seemed million miles away. Suddenly, everything went black.

Nick was watching Ali as Dr. Martins’ word hit her. Within seconds she had lot all the colour in her face. He gently put a hand on her shoulder to support her until she had regained herself a little. Somehow, Nick didn’t feel any shock, sadness, anger or anything at all. A part of him hadn’t realized what Dr. Martins had just told them, and a part of him wanted to be strong for Ali’s sake. He looked over at her again and just as he was about to ask her if she was ok, he noticed her eyes falling back into her head. He knew that sign all too well, and managed to stand up and catch her before she slid off the chair and down on the floor. Dr. Martins came rushing out from behind his desk to help Nick. Together, they laid her gently down on the floor, her head resting on Nick’s lap.

“Ali? Ali, honey, wake up.” Nick was gently stroking her hair, while the doctor was checking her vital signs.

“Ali! Come on… wake up sweetie.”

“She should be ok for now.” Dr. Martins stated. “The room across the hall is available. Can you carry her in there, and we’ll let her come out of it on her own?”

Nick nodded and carefully moved Ali’s head away from his lap. He gently picked her up while Dr. Martins opened the doors that led them to the room he had referred to. Nick gently laid Ali down on the bed and positioned himself in a chair next to it.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Dr. Martins said and left the room quietly.

It wasn’t more than 5 minutes later when Ali began to stir. Nick took her hand and gently squeezed it as he watched her opened her eyes to let them wander around the room for a few seconds.

“Please tell me it was a bed dream…” she whispered slowly after a few moments. Nick sighed and put a hand on her cheek. He shook his head. “No honey… it wasn’t a bad dream.”

“This is not happening to me…” Tears started forming in her eyes.

“I wish I knew what to say Ali, but I don’t.”

“That’s alright. I don’t know what to say either…”

They both drifted off into their own thoughts and weren’t interrupted until Dr. Martins entered the room again another 5 minutes later. He walked over to the bed where Ali was lying and sat down on a chair next to Nick.

“How are you feeling?” He asked for the second time that day.

Ali shook her head slightly. “I don’t know…”

“I have to apologize again for the mistake we made. I was feeling so happy for you when you left earlier today, and when I got the message from the lab, I just feared the worst.”

“It’s alright doctor. It’s not your fault.”

“I brought some brochures for you to read. I assume you don’t know that much about your condition. However, there are a lot of things that I can answer for you, and I’ll tell you all about the treatments and you options.”

Ali nodded.

“The type of cancer you have developed is called Acute Myeloid Leukaemia, or AML, and it’s the most common type of blood cancer for your age group. In your case the cancer is on a moderate level. It means we caught it early, but not as early as we’d liked. It could have been worst, but it could have been better too… The earlier you catch it, the easier it is to treat, and the chances for survival are bigger.”

“Chances of survival…” Ali whispered. She didn’t know if she meant it as a question or as a statement.

“Alicia… where you are right now, there’s an estimated 50/50 % chance of survival. It all depends on how well your body responds to the treatments, and how strong you are.”
”She’s a fighter!” Nick said, his voice suddenly sounding shaky. “Right Ali? You’re a fighter.”

“I don’t know if I can do this…” She hid her face in her hands and started shaking uncontrollably. Nick quickly stood up and sat down on the bed next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Shhhh…. It’s gonna be alright sweetie. I’m here with you. You’re gonna get through this.” He wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or to Ali, or maybe both.

It took a few moments for Ali to calm down, and when she had, she had no idea what to say. Nick knew how shaken up she was, she he was the one leading the conversation for her.

“What kinda treatments are we talking about?” He asked Dr. Martins.

“Chemo therapy twice a week, different medication, and if your body doesn’t respond to it the way we want it to, your last options is a bone marrow transplant.”

“When do I start?” Ali asked and looked up at the doctor.

“As soon as possible, preferably tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“If you wanna beat this, we have no time to waste.”

“But tomorrow is so soon… I don’t think I’m ready.”

“I’ll tell you what… There’s a nice hotel across the road from here. I’ll set up an appointment for you tomorrow at ten, and I’m gonna give you more information on what’s gonna happen, in what order, and what you can expect. I suggest you just spend some time letting this all sink in, I know it’s a lot to digest right now.”

Ali nodded. “I don’t know if I want it to sink in.” she whispered.

“I know this is not what you wanted to hear, and again, I’m so sorry about this misunderstanding. I just want to let you know that I will do my outmost to help you in this situation.”

Ali nodded again. It was all she felt she could do at that moment. Dr. Martins handed her the brochures that he had brought.

“Read these, ok? It will answer most of the questions you will have for now.” He put a friendly hand on her shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow Ali, Nick.” He shook Nick’s hand and left the room.

Ali looked down at the brochures she was holding in her hands.

“Fighting cancer.”

“Leukaemia, what now?”

“Dealing with cancer.”

“Chemo therapy.”

“When someone you know has cancer.”

She handed the last one to Nick. “Here… I guess you’ll need this…”

That was all it took. Nick had been trying to convince himself that he needed to be strong for Ali, but holding that small brochure in his hand completely turned everything around.

“Shit…” He mumbled under his breath as he felt his eyes filling with water.

Ali looked up at him. “Oh no, Nick… don’t cry. I need you to be strong for me here, because I don’t think I can be.” She was struggling to keep her voice steady. She couldn’t remember seeing Nick cry like that before. He had cried in front of her, but the few times he had, it had been because he was happy, or relieved, like when he had found her in Russia. Now, when she looked up at him, it was tears of sadness and pain that she saw. Even though he was trying to hide it from her, she knew him better than that.

“I’m sorry… I’m just…” he wiped away the tears rolling down his cheek. Get yourself together Carter! “You know what? Let’s just get a room at that hotel Dr. Martins was talking about, and we’ll deal with this tomorrow. I don’t even know what to think right now, or even how to react to anything…”

Ali nodded in agreement. “I know… I don’t think I can sleep, but we can’t stay here all night anyways. And it’s getting late too…” It took all the strength she had to get out up from the bed. Nick walked over to her side and put his arm around her, half comforting her, half supporting her.

“Ready?” he looked down at her, and his heart went out to her, as she slowly took a deep breath.

“Ready.”

They both knew the next day would be long and painful, and none of them knew what to expect. All they knew was that somehow, they would get through it together.