Chapter 4
The doctors had said I was well enough to attend Nick’s funeral. Jane had long since then disowned him once he was admitted into the hospital, so it was left up to us to decide what to do with his remains. Kevin chose to have a close casket, though AJ fought for an open one. Apparently if I don’t see him, then it won’t trigger anything in me. But I know why he’s dead, I know why my best friends dead, because of me. How do you live down that kind of guilt?

You are not the place of blame

My head wiped around as the preacher was reading his sermon to us. I shook the voice out of my head as out of the corner of my eye I could see my cousin weeping, leaning on Howie for support.

“Is that me?” I heard a voice say beside me
My heart jumped out of my throat, “Nick?” I whispered

His pale face turned to look down on me, the color lost from his eyes, his blonde hair dulled. He stood in the clothes he had on when he died, a noticeable burn ring around his throat. When he noticed I was staring at his neck, he nervously rubbed it. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words life his pasty lips, instead tears slipped down his face.

“I didn’t do it Brian!” he said
“Shh…be quiet!” he said a little too loudly

Now everyone was looking at him as the preacher stood waiting for Brian’s approval to continue. Brian nodded as AJ leaned over to him.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this? I’ll take you home if you want?” he whispered
“No it’s fine, really it is” Brian stated

AJ nodded and continued to listen to the preacher. Brian turned his head watching as Nick was slowly approached his casket, grazing his fingers gently atop the cherry wood. Brian looked around nervously, ‘Doesn’t anyone else notice him there?’ he thought to himself, trying to call Nick over to him. Nick sank to the floor and started to cry louder, his wails turning into sirens, causing Brian’s hands to fly up to his head ears.

“Oh no…” AJ said as he put a protective arm around Brian’s shoulder, “Come on bud we’re going home” he said gently
“Why can’t any of you see him?”
“See who Bri?”
“Nick!”
“He’s in the coffin Bri, we’ve already been through this,” AJ whispered trying not to disturb the other mourners
“No he’s not! He’s right there, AJ look, he’s right there crying”
Tears started to fill his eyes, “Bri you’re gonna have to calm down, you can’t scare these people”

Brian’s outburst caused Kevin to cry harder as Howie shot a worried look in AJ’s direction, ‘Please not him too, you took Nick…don’t take Brian from us too,’ AJ thought as he led Brian away from the ceremony. Nick wiped his eyes, looking around frantically for Brian. When he saw him and AJ were leaving, he got up and ran, trying to catch up with his brothers. Nick kept a foot distance behind them as they made their way to one of the awaiting limos. AJ opened the door for Brian, ushering him inside.

“Go to sleep man, I’m taking you back to my place, it’s gonna be awhile”

Taking AJ’s advice, Brian stretched across the limo seat, resting his head on AJ’s lap. AJ sighed, throwing his head back on the leather interior, praying silently as he stroked the top of Brian’s head.

You should learn to control yourself in public…

Brian’s head wiped around as the darkness all of a sudden became a blinding white light. Shielding his eyes from what appeared to him as the sun.

“What do you want from me!” he screamed, “Why are you doing this to me?”

You’ve been giving a second chance!

“What kind of second chance it this?”

A kind most people would kill for, but I felt you were worthy enough to uphold such a gift

Brian sank to the floor crying, trying to take in what the voice was saying.

“I never asked for this, why couldn’t I have died?”

Your friends wouldn’t let you die, so in exchange for your life, they exchanged theirs

“What?”

Nick exchanged his life for yours, apparently the boy forgot about his promise so I had to take it from him

“You killed him! You fucking bastard”

The mechanical laughter filled the silent room

I did no such thing…he took his life… but he needed assistance

Save us…

“Who are these people trying to be saved?”

Help us…

I didn’t do it!

All of a sudden the cries became silent. Brian had thought he had gone deaf, but there was no one to make a sound. His head shot up as the sound of clicking heels could be heard. He hurried to his feet, stumbling backwards as the figure appeared before him. The mask concealed the face of the presents in front of him.

“You always had so many questions, questions to things you should never know the answer too, yet you seek them so desperately…”
“Where’s Nick?” Brian pleaded
“He’s dead” the figure said in a monotone voice
“Why did he exchange his life for me?”

Too many questions…

So many…

Be careful what you wish for…

I shot up out of bed as the pain in my head caused me to wince. I was no longer back in the hospital; instead I was in a different room. Scanning the room in the dark, I moved my hand around in search of a lamp. As I found one, I turned the light on startling someone. I jumped as my eyes focused on the person.

“AJ?” I asked
“Yeah man, you ok?” he asked
“I’m fine…just had a bad dream… How did I get here? Where the hell am I?”
“You’re at my place and you got here because I brought you here. You were freaking everyone out at the funeral”
“Huh?”
“Dude you kept screaming that Nicky…” AJ paused looking down, “Nicky wasn’t dead…”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
AJ sighed, “Just lie back and I’ll got make you a hot cup of tea”
“Yeah sure…thanks bud”

AJ smiled warmly as he got up and to leave. As he closed the door, a big heavy sigh was released in the room. Brian jumped as a person stepped from out of the corner, ‘Oh no…not this again, my mind is playing tricks on me…’ he told himself repeatedly as Nick started to approach him, ‘Nick is not there…Nick’s is not there…I’m crazy…I do not see him there,’ he thought as he covered his eyes. His cracked his fingers opening slightly, ‘Oh god! Why is he still there?’ he thought aloud.

“Frick…” Nick whispered
“No no no…you’re not real”
“Frick…listen to me. Please, I am very real”
“No you’re not, I saw you lying in a casket!”
“If I wasn’t real then how could I be responding to you?”
“Because I’m crazy! Don’t you see that? I’m a very sick fuck; I’m seeing and hearing things. Now I’m seeing and hearing my dead best friend!”
Nick sighed, “Fine I’ll come back when I think sanity and reality have hit you full force”

With that Nick slowly got up and disappeared. Just then the door busted open causing Brian to shriek. Kevin filed in the room with Howie in tow pleading behind him; AJ trailing along holding a kettle of bowling water. Kevin stood right in front of Brian, glaring down. If looks could kill, Brian would have burst into flames by now.

“Why did you do that? How could you do that?” he yelled
“Do what?”
“Kev let it go, he was upset” Howie pleaded
“Saying Nick was not dead! How could you do that at his funeral!”
“I…I…” Brian stuttered
“He doesn’t remember Kev, it was an emotional episode. Let it fucking go” AJ snapped
“No! Do you know how many people were upset? Do you? No you don’t, next there’s going to be a million rumors flying around that this is a hoax or Nick staged his own death! How could you?”
“What are you talking about?” Brian screamed

Just then Kevin’s harsh words became silent. Only his mouth was moving, but no words were leaving them. It was as if he was watching a silent film play in front of him.

They can’t help you

You have to get him to listen Brian!

“How?”

Show them I’m real