I stopped dead in my tracks as I read it and saw a picture of Nick and I walking out of the hospital with my sunglasses on hiding my puffy eyes from crying.

“Why’d you stop?” asked Leighanne as she noticed I wasn’t beside her anymore. She took a few steps back and looked at the magazines.

“How?” was all I could get out of my mouth.

“Taylor come on,” she started. “Don’t listen to those things.”

“I can’t help it when its true,” I started to tear up.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she placed her arm around me and pulled me in for a hug. “Its gonna be ok. You and Nick are doing great. You’ll get through this together and remember we’re all here for you.”

“Thanks,” I said as I wiped my eyes. “Can we go back to the hotel now?”

“Sure,” she answered as we walked back towards the hotel. “The guys should be back from their meeting soon.”

******

I was laying on the bed in the dark when I heard the door open and close. I heard Nick make his way towards the room and open the door. He turned on the light and just as he did he noticed me laying there on the bed awake.

“Why were you in the dark?” he asked.

“I was thinking,” I answered.

“About what?” he asked another question.

“About us,” I started. “About the baby.”

“About us?” he looked at me with a confused look on his face. “I thought we were doing great.”

“We are I was just thinking about what we’d have been like if the baby had lived and we became parents,” I said as I started to cry. “I’d probably still be working and we wouldn’t be together like we are now. We wouldn’t be mopping around like we are trying to say everything is fine and good when I know it really isn’t. I know its hard for us right now to get over the baby. I mean I thought I was over the initial shock but I wasn’t cause today I saw a magazine cover with us on it saying we had a miscarriage and I started to cry. I can’t help but still hurt. The baby was a part of me. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over losing it.”

“Baby,” he sat down and pulled me close into him. “I know what you mean. I was really shocked when you told me you were pregnant at first and now I’m kinda sad that I’m not going to become the dad I was looking forward to becoming. Maybe one day we will get that chance.”

“I hope,” I sighed. “I just wish we would have gotten the chance. The baby didn’t get a chance to live. I feel like its all my fault this happened.”

“Baby its not your fault,” he tried to comfort me. “You didn’t do anything wrong. The doctor should have stepped up and said something about any stress or anything that was going on with the baby. None of this is your fault.”

“But I feel like it is,” I cried.

“Don’t,” he told me. “Remember what you said earlier that its all in God’s plan for us that this happened.”

“I know but its just so hard for me to understand,” I replied.

“I know,” he said as I laid my head on his lap and cried myself to sleep as he stroke my hair in silence.

Sometime while I was asleep Nick had left and all I found beside me was a note.

I got up from the bed and walked into the other room where I had laid my phone earlier that day and called Nick.

“Hi you’ve reached Nick sorry I can’t get to the phone right now please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” I heard Nick say as I got his voicemail.

I heard the beep then spoke, “Hey babe its me I just got your note. I’m up so I thought I’d give you a call. I just wanted to say thanks for making me feel better earlier I just needed to talk and get it all out. I’ll see you later. Love ya.”

As I put my phone down I decided I’d run downstairs to the lobby to get a soda. I walked into the bathroom to check and make sure I looked ok. When I was done I threw on my flip flops and grabbed my purse, phone, and room key and walked out of the room. I walked down to the elevator and got on.

As I reached the lobby and got off I heard screaming as I walked towards the vending machines. I got my soda and walked back into the lobby and heard more screaming. I decided to check it out and see if Nick was back. I walked towards the doors just as I spotted Leighanne walking in with Baylee in her arms.

“Hey what are you doing down here?” she asked as she saw me.

“I came to get something to drink cause I didn’t have anything in my room and heard screaming,” I answered as I walked up to her. “Is Nick with you?”

“Yeah,” she started. “He’s signing some autographs and taking a few pictures.”

“Ok,” I replied. “So what’s this I hear we’re going to a movie premiere?”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “They got invited to a premiere which my mom isn’t going to since she came over to watch Baylee for me tonight.”

“That’s great,” I replied. “Do you know what movie it is?”

“No not really,” she answered as Brian walked through the door.

“Hey,” he said as he walked over.

“Hey,” I smiled back as he gave me a hug and then kissed Leighanne and took Baylee into his arms.

“So you coming tonight?” he asked as A.J. walked inside.

“Yeah,” I answered as we all said hi to A.J. “I can’t wait. Good thing I have my black dress from the Rascal Flatts tour with me.”

We kept on talking for the next few minutes until all the guys got inside. Of course the last to come in was Nick. He always was the last to come in.

“What are you doing down here?” Nick asked as he saw me talking to the guys.

“I came down for a coke,” I answered as I turned towards him. “I tried calling you to tell you I was up.”

“Oh sorry my phone died,” he apologized. “I forgot to charge it last night.”

“That’s ok,” I replied as we all started heading towards the elevator.

Nick placed his arm around me and pulled me close to him as we waited for the elevator.

“You feeling better?” he asked.

“Yeah thanks,” I smiled. “I’m glad I got it out. I’ve been just holding it in so much since that day.”

“Its ok,” he said. “Let’s just go upstairs and get ready. We have to be back down here in an hour.”

“What premiere are we going to?” I asked.

“Good Night, and Good Luck,” he answered.

“Cool I’ve wanted to see that,” I said as we walked into our hotel room.

******

“So how’s the tour going so far?” asked one reporter at the movie premiere.

“Great,” answered Howie. “We’re grateful to be back in Europe for this tour and to be able to get to go to many places we haven’t been to in years.”

“That’s great,” the reporter said. “So we all want to know why was the tour postponed earlier this month?”

“We just needed to,” was all Kevin said. “We really need to be going.”

They left that reporter and walked down the carpet.

“Nick, Taylor,” was being yelled by other reporters as we walked some more.

The guys stopped at MTV to do an interview.

The first question out of the reporters mouth was directed towards me and Nick.

I stood there trying to stay calm and not cry or lash out screaming when it came to questions about the baby. Anyone who talked about the baby was just asking for me to attack them, because it was still a sore spot.

“That’s none of your business,” Nick started to say. “Its between Taylor and I about that whole incident and everyone just needs to stop asking. If we wanted everyone to know we would have told everyone. But right now please just leave us alone.”

“Does that mean that something happened with the baby in Boston,” the reporter asked getting Nick madder.

I couldn’t take it anymore and stepped in and started to yell, “Can’t you ever just shut up and leave us alone. Sorry if my life is so important. Come on when has being a manager for Rascal Flatts ever been so interesting that you want to know why I was in the freakin’ hospital in Boston? Huh? Never. Just cause Nick and I are together doesn’t give you any business to know what goes on in our lives. I know all these fans might want to know. But gosh if you just waited you could see if I was pregnant or not. If you just freakin’ wait you’ll find out everything you want to know. Your just so freakin’ impatient. Just leave us alone. Why is a Backstreet Boys life so much more important now when they simply cancel a few shows. Why don’t you go track down Britney Spears and see if she’s freakin’ poppin’?” (referring to Britney when she was pregnant with Sean.) “I’m sure she’s about to have her baby.” Just then Nick grabbed me and tried to calm me down.

“Baby calm down,” he said walking me away. “Let’s just go inside and watch the movie.” We got inside and stepped away from the crowd and I just began crying on Nick’s shoulder. “Its ok everything’s fine.”

“No its not Nick,” I cried. “I just made a idiot out of myself out there.”

“Its ok,” he said as he ran his hand up and down my back trying to comfort me. “It’s a very hard time for us your allowed a few outbursts every now and then. I would have done something like that if you hadn’t stepped in sooner or later.”

“I know how much you wanted to come to this premiere but can we just go home?” I asked wiping tears away.

“Yeah let’s go grab a cab,” he said as we walked out. “Let’s just tell the guys we’re going.”

“Ok,” I replied as we started out looking for the guys.

“Guys,” he said as he spotted them.

“Hey,” they said as they turned around.

“We’re gonna head out,” Nick started to say. “Sorry about what happened out there.”

“You shouldn’t be apologizing about something I did,” I told Nick. “I’m so sorry. Its just been so much lately and I couldn’t take it anymore. Hopefully it won’t ever happen again.”

“Its ok,” replied Brian. “We’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“See ya,” Nick said as we started out of the theater.

“How are we getting back?” I asked not realizing we didn’t have the limo.

“Taxi,” he told me.

******

Something hit me as we were sitting in the taxi and I leaned over and kissed Nick passionately. At first he was shocked but before they knew it they were making out in the backseat of the taxi.

“We’re at your hotel sir,” said the taxi driver as we approached the hotel and came to a stop. We stopped making out just as we drove into the driveway of the hotel.

“Thanks,” said Nick as he paid the man and we got out. Fans were all over the front of the hotel waiting for us as we walked towards the front.

“Baby,” I looked at Nick. “Do you have to?”

“No,” he answered as he looked over to the fans. “Sorry guys.” We walked inside without another word and headed up to our room.

Once inside our room and the door shut I pushed Nick up against the wall and started kissing him again. I don’t know what had taken over me but I just felt like it was something I had to do. I needed to relieve a bunch of my stress and thought this would be a way.

We made our way over to the bed and clothes went flying.

******

Nick was in the other room when he heard me start to cry and came running in to see what was wrong.

“I’m all over the tv,” I told him as he pulled me close.

“Its ok,” he said. “it will blow over just give it some time and someone else to do something stupid. You aren’t a bad person so don’t worry about anything. We all know your true self. All that matters anyway is what I think and what I think is that I’m totally in love with you. Now and forever no matter how crazy you may get. I love you with all my heart.”

“I love you too,” I replied as we kissed. “It seems like a lot lately your having to come a clam me down. I’m so sorry.”

“Its ok,” he said. “I don’t care I just care that your ok and that you know how much I love you.”

I smiled as we kissed again and laid against his bare chest.

“When are we leaving?” I asked.

“In about twenty minutes,” he answered. “Tomorrow’s the last show for Europe and then we head back to the States and then we have a break until February.”

“Where are you going in February?” I asked.

“Australia,” he told me.

“Cool I’ve always wanted to go there,” I started. “Maybe we can go there for like our honeymoon or something like that.”

“Maybe,” he replied as he got up and started to get dressed. “Lets get ready to go cause you know how Kevin can be.”

“True,” I smiled as I got up and started to gather my stuff.

******

“You make me wanna lala in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a French maid where I meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream
You make me wanna lala lalala lalala lalala lala lalala” I sang as Nick walked onto the bus after the final show for the European leg of the tour. I was dancing to the music as it ended and turned around and came face to face with Nick. He had the biggest smile on his face just as the next song from Ashlee Simpson’s CD played.

“I do?” he smiled.

“Oh yeah,” I answered with a smile on my face. “You make me wanna lala all the time.”

“Well you do too,” he said as he kissed me. “Guess what?”

“What?” I said.

“I got us an earlier flight so we could go home and relax until I have to go to the next show,” he told me.

“Great when does it leave?” I asked.

“At 2 a.m.,” he answered. “Can you be ready?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Let’s go start getting everything ready.”