It must have been around eight in the morning when I finally pulled myself out of the bathroom. I guess it must have been Marissas wonderful smelling breakfast that lured me out. Then again I just realized that I'm starving. I took the steps one at a time as I headed toward the dining room. Finally I got to the landing. I saw something in the corner of my eye that stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned my head toward the living room. I forced myself off the landing and walked into the living room. I headed straight for the shelf that held pictures of Marissas family. My focus landed on one particular picture. With shaky hands I picked up the picture and held it up. It was a picture of this teenage boy, probably around me age. It looked like it may have been his senior picture. The picture of this boy that I stared upon looked way too familiar. Then it dawned on me. My mouth suddenly became dry. I couldn't even swallow right. A pair of hands pulled the picture gently out of my hands. I then started to tremble, taking a small step backward. My head felt heavy as I forced it up and looked at the person beside me. Marissa stood there, with a look of worry and confusion on her face.

"Are you okay?" I couldn't answer her. I small muffle escaped my mouth. Tears stung in my eyes.

"I...um...." Finally I swallowed. Holy hell that hurt, "Who....who is that? In that picture?" I finally managed to say. Marissa looked down at the picture and slowly ran her fingertips over the surface.

"This is my son Jerry. He...he died last year in that plane crash..." I flinched when she said 'plane crash'. The crash. Right....the one that was suppose to kill me. My hand flew up to my mouth. I then raced passed Marissa and shot upstairs. I could hear her yelling after me, but I didn't care. I burst through my bedroom door and locked it behind me. With the tears streaming down my face I slid down the wall and onto the floor, trying my best to drown out Marissa's and Jessica's frantic pounding on the door. I growled in anger as they managed to get the door open. Jessica must have picked the lock. Damn her. I tried my best to crawl away, but it was no use. I was trapped. They rushed over to me. I let Marissa take me into her arms.

"Aaron baby...tell me what's on your mind." I squeezed my eyes shut adn stayed quiet. I licked my lips and pulled myself out of her arms. I leaned back against the wall. Just then the front door opened from downstairs. Marissa looked at Jessica and then back at Aaron. She stood up and placed her hand on Jessica's shoulder.

"Talk to him." She whispered. Jessica noded and watched her Aunt leave the room. When she was out of the door, Jessica looked back at me. She smiled and reached forward, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly. I sighed and hugged her back. The tears then came back and there was no stopping them.

****

Marissa hurried down the stairs. She rushed into the kitchen, were Jack was standing. He stood up against the sink, his head down. Marissa crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Hi." She said. Jack slowly looked up at her. He gave her a weak smile.

 "Hey." He said back. Marissa took notice of his dirty attire.

"Where were you?"

Jack sighed, "The cemetery."

"Why?"

"Visiting Jerry. Thinking about the day he was born. He grew up way too fast, it makes you think that he was born yesterday, but gone tomorrow. Nobody knows. Death is a mysterious thing. How can anybody ever know or understand why they have to die. I don't understand why God wanted him so damn bad, he didn't even get to live his dreams. I just don't understand."

Marissa took a deep breath, "Does anybody?"

"Marissa, how's Aaron?" Jack asked all of a sudden. Marissa's hands fell to her sides, taken aback.

"Um...not so good. He saw a picture of Jerry and freaked out." She told him. Jack finally looked at her.

"Why?"

Marissa shrugged, "I don't know. Jessica and I is trying to talk to him. Jessica is up there right now.

"No, let me talk to him."

Marissa's eyes widened, "Are you kidding me?" Jack turned and walked to her.

"I said let me talk to him." He said calmly. Marissa was shocked. She thought he would be beat red in the face and angry. But instead he was calm. She finally nodded. Jack then ran up the stairs. He opened the door to Aaron's room and saw Aaron resting comfortably in Jessica's arms. As soon as Aaron saw him in the door, he pulled out of Jessica's embrace and scooted behind her.

"Jessica..." Jack motioned her out of the room with a nod of his head. Jessica obeyed and began to stand up, until Aaron grabbed her arm. She looked down and saw him giving her a pleadind look.

"Don't leave me, Jessica." He pleaded.

"He needs to talk to you, sweetie."

"I don't want to talk to him. Please don't go." Jessica smiled sweetly and kissed his forehead, then gently rested her head against his.

"It'll be okay, I promise. If you need me, I'll be right outside the door. Okay?" I nodded weakly. When she left the room and I was forced to face Jack. I saw him sit on the bed and patted his hand on the spot next to him.

"Aaron. Come here." I shook my head almost immediately. Jack nodded, "Ok, I'll come to you." Jack said, getting off the bed and sitting down in front of me.

"Look, you may think I hate you...."

 "You do."

"No. No I don't. I never have."

"Then what's your problem with me? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything. It's just me. I guess you found out who my son was, huh? And that he died in that crash?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Aaron I uh...when I first heard about what happened, I tried to pretend it wasn't true. I waited all night for Jerry to come home. But when I got the call that he was one of them that died I thought my whole world had stopped. Then when I found out there was a survivor and that survivor was you, I thought why? Why you and not my boy? It confused me. I didn't understand. That's why I got so angry when Marissa wanted to try to take care of you. I know now why she does. I thought she was replacing Jerry. My only son with a complete stranger. I know being a doctor has it's calling. You are Marissa's, Aaron. I want you to prove to her that you'll be okay. Prov to me that you'll be okay. To Jessica, to your family and friends, or FANS. I just want to apologize if you ever had the impression taht I hated you for that. I don't make the rules. God didn't want you. But he wanted Jerry and everybody else. God rest....Christy. I will never understand that but being the faithful Christian I am...I believe it."

"Um....I just want to let you know that I saw Jerry before he died. He grabbed my hand after I...lost...Christy. I looked at him like he was nothing. I didn't know who he was until today. Knowing the fact that you and Marissa lost someone you love and now your taking care of me. And me knowing the fact taht I just so happen to not attempt trying to save Jerry. Just like Marissa said to me. I was brave and strong enough to try and save Christy. But I just looked away from Jerry and didn't look back at him. I'm....i'm so sorry." I sobbed.

"Hey, please don't be sorry. There wasn't even anything you could do."

I shook my head, "The way he looked at me. His eyes pleaded for me to help him. But I just looked away. I just looked away."

Jack took a shaky breath, "Listen to me, you're never going to get better blaming yourself al the time. You were probably not the only one on that plane who didn't have the thought running through their minds that they had to try to help someone else too."

"It doesn't matter now. Their dead. And i'm not."

"You wish you were dead?"

"Every damn day when I realized that I survived! When I shouldn't have!"

"What do you think Christy would think?"

I glared at him, "What?"

"Christy wouldn't want you to do this Aaron. To think like this. She would want you to be happy." I couldn't bare to hear anymore. I covered my ears to drown him out, but he just grabbed my hands and held them them tight, so I was forced to listen, "You should think of what Christy wants." I let out a sob as he let go of my hands. He stood up and walked out of the room. I crawled onto the bed and curled up into a ball. Closing my eyes, I let the world of darkness take me once again.