Howard, The Mythical Butterfly
Brian: *face lights up when he sees the airport in a distance* We’re almost there!!
Pinkie: Yah mon… don’t you worry ‘bout a ting mon… cuz every little ting, is gonna be alright…
Brian: *looks up to the sky and watches while a plane takes off* You don’t suppose that was my plane that just took off… do you?
Pinkie: *frowns* Oh no… we’re too late.
Brian: What do you mean we’re too late?! A while ago you were just talking to me in your abnormal freakish sounding Jamaican accent, telling me *mocks Pinkie in a Jamaican accent* “Oh, no worry mon, every little thing mon, is gonna be alright mon!!”
Pinkie: Eh, I do not sound like that mon…
Brian: I don’t wanna be here anymore *starts to tear up* I miss wearing the animal skin loincloths Nick brought us all the way from Zimbabwe, even though it was worn during a real Zimbabwean battle… I miss throwing up whenever AJ pulled a Britney Spears with his hiked up loincloth… I miss Nick calling Howie his beautiful butterfly…
Pinkie: *her ears perk up when she hears Brian say something about a beautiful butterfly*
Brian: I miss Bubbles the chimpanzee… I miss… I want… I just wanna go home!!!! *starts to cry*
*All of a sudden, Justin Timberlake’s song “Cry Me A River” starts to play*
Brian: *immediately stops crying and looks up, trying to find where the music was coming from*
Pinkie: Oops. *shuts the music off* Sorry, just trying to set the mood mon…
Brian: *drops to the ground, landing on his butt* Now I’ll never be able to get home…
Pinkie: No mon, I know another way to get you home mon…
Brian: *looks up at Pinkie with his infamous bright smile* You do?
Pinkie: Of course mon, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. *she starts blowing her trunk*
Brian: *gets up from the ground and excitedly looks around*
Pinkie: Ahh, there he is…
Brian: *turns to where Pinkie was looking; his eyes bulging and his mouth falling agape* A freaking butterfly?
Pinkie: Not just any old butterfly mon… he’s a mythical butterfly.
Butterfly: *in an old English accent* Hello, my name is Howard.
Brian: Great, so the butterfly talks too? Am I in the.. wait, did you just say that your name was Howard?
Howard: At your service my good man.
Brian:…… okay, so maybe I don’t miss Nick calling Howie his beautiful butterfly that much.
Pinkie: So, you ready to go home mon?
Brian: I’ve been ready!! So… how am I getting home?
Pinkie: You’re looking at your way home.
Brian: *stares at the fluttering butterfly before him* You expect me to… I’m suppose to get on… he’s supposed to… dude, he’s a freaking butterfly!!
Howard: I beg your pardon?! I am not just a… bleeping butterfly, I am a mythical butterfly.
Brian: Well, excuse me oh mythical one, sorry I don’t trust being transported by something that is not even a pound heavy!
Pinkie: Just jump on the freaking mythical butterfly mon… he’ll take you to where you gotta go.
Brian: *exasperated, he gives up on trying to explain his self or trying to understand this strange phenomenon.* So… you want me to um… get on your back?
Howard: *flutters low to the ground* Yes sir.
Brian: *stares at the butterfly, wondering how he could get onto the back of a freaking butterfly. He accidentally steps on Howard, the mythical butterfly, hearing a sickening crack underneath his foot* Oops.
Pinkie: YOU KILLED HIM!!!
Brian: Oh, for the love of… I told you I’d never be able to get onto the freaking back of a butterfly! *lifts his foot and sees the smashed remains Howard, the mythical butterfly.*
Pinkie: It’s okay Howard… we’ll get you up and fluttering your beautiful wings in a jiffy… *turns towards Brian* You know what you have to do…
Brian: *gives Pinkie an awkward look* Um, no… actually, I don’t know what I have to do…
Pinkie: Let the music heal your soul…
Brian: What is it that you want me to do?!
Pinkie: Sing mon, sing!!
Brian: Um… okay… *mutters* I can’t believe I’m singing to a freaking dead butterfly…
Pinkie: A freaking dead mythical butterfly.
Brian: Whatever! *stares down at the crushed, dead butterfly* Um… okay… Baby… please try to forgive me… stay here, don’t put out the glow… hold me now, don’t bother… if every minute it makes me weaker, you can… *stops singing abruptly when he was hit in the back of head by Pinkie’s trunk* Ow, what was that for?!
Pinkie: Sing the right song mon!
Brian: Wha-… I am singing the right song!! *gets slapped in the back of the head again* Okay, okay, okay… I’m… I’m bringing sexy back…
Pinkie: Yeah!
Brian: Them other boys don’t know how to act…
Pinkie: Yeah!
Brian: I think it’s special, what’s behind your back…
Pinkie: Yeah!
Brian: So turn around and I’ll pick up the slack…
Pinkie: Take it to the bridge mon!!
Howard: Dirty babe… you see these shackles baby, I’m a slave…
Brian: *stares at the once dead butterfly, fluttering around in the air, good as new* But… what… wait… how… how on earth did that… how did you…
Howard: Justin’s voice gets to me all the time…
Pinkie: No doubt mon…
Howard: Word!
Brian: For the last and final time, I am not Justin Timberlake!!
*Pinkie and Howard stare at him blankly.*
Brian: *lets out an exasperated sigh* I give up already!!
Pinkie: Don’t worry mon… I’ve got another idea to get you home.
Brian: Oh no, I’m through with hearing your ideas!! I’m not smashing and killing any more freaking butterflies-
Howard: MYTHICAL butterfly!!
Brian: Whatever! I’m not gonna try and jump on another freaking mythical butterfly’s back because you think this small, delicate creature could fly me half way around the world back home!
Pinkie: No mon, this will work, I promise you!!
Brian: Does this consist of me climbing onto the backs of creatures that are 1,000 times smaller than me?
Pinkie: Um… no.
Brian: *sighs heavily* Okay… lets hear it.
Pinkie: How about we just show it to you mon?
Brian: Sure… why not.
Pinkie: Howard, do your thang mon!!
Howard: *starts sending out his mythical brainwaves*
-MEANWHILE-
Nick: FREEZE!!
Howie: *sighs heavily* What is it now Nick?
Nick: I feel my spidey senses tingling.
AJ: You know Nick… this whole time we’ve been following you, for some god given reason actually believing the fact that you knew where to go to find Brian, but all you’ve done was take us in circles in our freaking hotel!
Nick: I did not take us in circles!!
AJ: Nick… we have yet to leave the hotel, how are you gonna sit there and tell us that you haven’t took us in circles?
Nick: Because I took ya’ll to the rooftop of the hotel.
AJ/Howie:……………….
Nick: That wasn’t in a circle.
AJ: *goes towards Nick, ready to strangle him, but is held back by Howie*
Nick: *strains his ears* It’s the mythical one!!
Howie: What?
Nick: Remember how I told you that my spidey senses were tingling? Well, it was the mythical one who is trying to contact me through sending brainwaves.
AJ: And who is this… mythical one?!
Nick: The butterfly!
AJ: Hold up Blondie, let me get this straight… you… get spidey senses… from a freaking butterfly?
Nick: *places finger upon AJ’s lips* Shush now… you are disrupting our brainwaves with your nonsense.
Howie: *begins to chant softly to himself* Please don’t let me kill him, please don’t let me kill him, please don’t let me kill him…
Nick: He has told me where Brian’s at!!
AJ: And where exactly would he be… oh wise and knowledgeable one?
Nick: Why he’s stuck on the coast of Brazil!
AJ: And you were able to gain this knowledge thanks to your spidey senses that you picked up from a freaking butterfly…
Nick: MYTHICAL butterfly!
AJ: Right, freaking mythical butterfly, and it was all transmitted to you thanks to the brainwaves you and this mythical butterfly share?
Nick: I know it is hard to understand right now my young one, but it’ll all make sense in due time Alexander. Some call it a talent… I call it a gift.
AJ: Yeah? Well, I call it idiocracy.
Howie: Okay, can we just hurry the hell up and get to Brian?
Nick: Alright Autobots… lets rollout!! *begins rolling across the hallway again, blowdryer still in hand*
Howie: Nick, if you break my blowdryer, I’ll rip out every single strand of blonde hair on your head, got me kid?
AJ: After spending 3 hours in this hotel, unsuccessfully searching for Brian, we’ve come to the realization that he’s not here and we’re finally leaving this damn place.
Nick: *throws himself against the wall, making like he’s climbing up it* Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does…
Howie: When we get to Brazil, we are accidentally leaving Nick behind.
