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“You guys are unbelievable!” Nick was shouting as he furiously made scrambled eggs. I was sitting at the table with Howie and AJ. We, all, were hanging our heads and listening to him rant as our noses filled with the aroma of bacon and eggs.

“Nick…” Howie attempted to speak but was immediately silenced by more of Nick’s outburst.

“NO! We just got over this whole sneaking about, behind my back shit. I am the fucking guardian, damn it! And, you two are undermining me by telling him that this kind of behavior is okay! Well, it’s NOT okay! He was supposed to be in bed…sleeping, not roaming around in condemned buildings. I can’t believe you would encourage him to completely disrespect me like that!”

“That wasn’t the point, Nick. We were just going to have some fun and knew you wouldn’t allow it.”

“Screw you, McLean! I am responsible for him! His life is in my care…what if something would have happened? Whose ass would it have been? MINE, that’s whose, I have responsibilities to him. And, I will be damned if I am going to screw this up! I am not Brian, damn it! HE was a good father and I am just trying my damn best to not fuck it all up, then you two go and destroy everything I have been trying to build in him! Baylee’s entire life depends on how well I raise him and I refuse to let his life turn out all jacked up because I can’t, fucking, do this.” Nick dropped the plates in front of us before storming out of the room. We jumped at the loud bang from Nick slamming the door as he disappeared into the basement.

“It’s official,” AJ spoke softly, “that man has some issues.”

“Why did my dad choose him?”

“None of us know the answer to that. It was a shock to all of us,” Howie set his hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

“You know,” I sighed, “I find it kind of funny.”

“What’s funny BayBay?” they both asked me, almost in unison.

“He is always talking about how much I hate him, but I really think that it’s just the opposite,” I stood and left the room, leaving my breakfast untouched. After climbing the stairs, I locked myself into my room and called my two best friends, Morgan and Sean. I met Morgan in fourth grade and she has been a close friend ever since. Sean and I met a few years ago and he fit right in with me and Morgan.

“Baylee? Are you okay?”

“This whole situation with Nick is so messed up, Morgan.”

“I thought things were going well.”

“Yeah, well, it didn’t last long.”

“I’ll be over in a few. Tree or door?”

“Better make it the tree. I couldn’t get a hold of Sean.”

“Yeah, he’s at his mom’s for the Christmas break, remember? But, we’ll talk when I get there. Bye.”

“Okay. Bye,” I sighed before I flipped my cell phone shut. “What?” I asked with irritation evident in my voice as I flung open the door.

“We need to talk Baylee.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I get it. I won’t go anywhere or do anything or talk to anyone. I’ll drop out of public school and get someone to teach me at home. I won’t hang out with AJ or Howie and I will just stay in my room, acting like I don’t exist. THEN, you can go back to you perfect, happy life that you had before you got stuck with me. I’m sorry my dad screwed everything up for you by giving me to you,” I ranted, staring straight into his eyes with absolutely no emotion.

“Baylee…”

“You know what? Forget it.” I closed my door and flipped the lock, leaving Nick standing in the hallway.

“Come on Baylee,” Nick knocked on my door several times. “Let’s talk about this. We were doing so well.”

“I’m staying out of your hair, so why don’t you stay out of mine,” I scoffed without opening my door. I collapsed onto my bed and actually felt my eyes water a little bit.

After a few minutes, I got up and rummaged through my closet. I pulled out a big trunk of my parent’s stuff and drug it over to the side of the bed. Grabbing an old photo album, I began flipping through the pages and that’s when a few tears escaped my eyes. I can hardly believe it has been over 6 years. I miss them so badly.

“Hello?” I questioned into my cell.

“Hey,” Morgan answered softly. “Mom won’t let me come over, but later we can chat online, if that’s okay.”

“It’s cool. I’m kind of not in any shape for company, after all. I might go online later…I just…I don’t know.” I replied and flipped the phone shut, tossing it to the side. My eyes fell onto a picture of my dad holding me and Nick leaning in to kiss my cheek. I must have been about 4 or 5 years old. Why couldn’t things be that simple?

Gently, I closed the photo album and set it beside me before digging deeper into the trunk. Finding an odd looking book, I opened it to the first page.

March 18, 2005

Journal-

Leighanne and Baylee will be leaving tomorrow to go visit her parents. Unfortunately, I have to stay here and get some work done. They will only be gone for about a week, so it shouldn’t be TOO bad. But, I have never been away from Baylee for more than a day, or so, at a time. It will be rough, but I know God will keep them safe.

I have been so proud of Bub, lately! He is talking up a storm and is sleeping in a big boy bed now. I can’t believe he will be turning three soon. I never knew that being a father would feel so wonderful! Nothing in the world could replace the love that I have for my little man. I know that he will grow up to make me proud.

Ah, I have to cut it short, for now, Leigh is calling me to help get Baylee ready for dinner. As always, I pray for God to protect us and continue to surround us with his love. Oh, and I hope, no matter what the future holds, Baylee will know how much I love him.

- Brian T. Littrell

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I closed my father’s journal. I’ll never know why I had never noticed it before. Out of all the times I had sifted through the trunk’s contents, I had never thought to open that book. After placing the journal on my night table, I returned everything else into the trunk and pushed it back into my closet.

“BAYLEE!” AJ’s raspy voice broke me from my thoughts. “Lunch is ready.” Hearing him knock on my door, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and headed to the door. Flipping the lock, I opened it slightly before laying back down on my bed. I buried my face into my pillow.

“I’m not hungry,” I replied with a muffled voice.

“Well, if you change your mind, come on down and eat with me and Howie. Nick is holed back up in the studio so you won’t have to worry about him and his moods.”

“Whatever. Thanks.” I heard him leave and softly close the door. After making sure he was a safe distance away, I broke back down into tears. My head filled with memories of my parents as I cried myself into a fitful nap.