Rachel stepped into the doctor's office and apprehensively waited for her to come in. It was never her favorite thing to do, but she knew she had to keep up with her regular visits to her cardiologist. She fidgeted with the zipper on her jacket and she waited. Rachel looked up when she heard the creaking sound of the door being opened. Her doctor came into the office and sat at her desk.
"Miss Crawford, I'm Dr. Elliott. I have spoken with your last cardiologist and he told me about your situation. Now, looking at your tests, I can see that you've been having some difficulties with your heart recently. Can you tell me a little about what you‘ve been feeling?"
Rachel shrugged. “I’ve just noticed a lot more chest pains that usual. I have to use my inhaler more often than I have. I just figured it was from stress.”
“I’m afraid it goes a little deeper than that,” Dr. Elliott replied.
Rachel swallowed hard. "What does that mean?"
Dr. Elliott took off her glasses and stared at Rachel straight faced. "I'm sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this. You're gonna need surgery."
Rachel froze for a second then looked down at her hands. "When?"
"Well, the sooner the better. You need to set up the appointment as soon as possible. If you don't, you could have permanent damage and eventually it would become fatal."
"I. . .I see," Rachel said as she blinked back her tears. She stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "Thank you, Dr. Elliott, for your time. I'll be getting back to you soon."
"My pleasure," Dr. Elliott replied. “Feel free to call me if you have any questions.”
“Thank you,” she mumbled then left the office.
Rachel stepped out of the elevator and swiftly walked out to the parking lot. She fumbled around in her purse she found her keys and shakily unlocked her door. Rachel drove home to her apartment with silent tears falling down her cheeks. As soon as she arrived at her apartment, she walked into her room, plopped herself onto her bed then cried herself to sleep. A few hours later, she woke up to the sound of her bedroom door opening. Ignoring it, she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. The familiar scent of Safari reached her nose as she felt Brian's arms wrap around her. Rachel rolled over and looked into his eyes.
"I figured you were asleep when you never answered your phone," Brian said as he nuzzled her neck.
"How did you get in here?" Rachel asked, puzzled.
"I stopped by Nick's and got Kristin's key. I've been calling all afternoon. I got worried, so I thought I'd come by and see what was up. Have you been asleep all this time?"
"I guess so," Rachel said as she sat up and smoothed out her hair.
Brian smiled as he handed Rachel a bouquet of roses and a small teddy bear. "For you."
Rachel forced a small smile and took the roses and teddy bear from him. "Thanks," she said as she set them aside.
Brian's eyes searched hers. "Something's wrong. What is it?"
"Nothing," Rachel lied.
"No, something's wrong I can tell."
"What makes you think something's wrong?"
"Well, you don't seem exactly too thrilled to see me. What's going on?"
"Nothing's going on, Brian. I'm just tired, that's all."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Okay. . .if you say so. Where's my kiss?" he asked with a smile.
Rachel chuckled then gave him a kiss. "Better?"
"Much," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and laid her back down. Rachel closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest. Brian ran his fingers through her soft brown hair. "Are you sure you're okay?"
Rachel fought back her tears. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired. I've had a long day." She shifted her position and faced him. She studied him for a second then traced his lips with her thumb.
"What?" Brian asked.
"Nothing," Rachel said, still studying him.
"What are you looking at?"
Rachel smile slightly. "Just you."
Brian cocked up his right eyebrow and linked his hand into hers. "You're weird," he said with a chuckle.
Rachel smacked him flirtatiously. "I am not!"
Brian continued to laugh. "Sorry, I didn't mean it I swear."
"You better not have," she replied then kissed him. She settled herself back in his arms and sighed loudly. "I could stay like this forever."
"Me too," Brian murmured.
"What time is it?" Rachel asked as she lifted up Brian's wrist to look at his watch. "Shit, it's almost four!" she shouted then hopped off the bed.
"What's going on at four?"
"Volleyball practice. I have fifteen minutes to get there." Rachel answered, running around the room finding her gym clothes.
She snatched a white T-shirt and a black pair of Adidas shorts and quickly changed in the bathroom. She slipped on her Adidas sandals and grabbed her volleyball shoes from the closet then dashed out to the front door. She was almost out the door when she remembered she didn't have her knee pads. Rachel let out a flustered groan then stomped back to her room to find Brian standing there with her knee pads in his hands. She smiled and gave him a quick kiss.
"Thanks, baby. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Wait, I'm coming with you."
"Why?" Rachel asked in surprise.
"I wanna see you practice. Besides, I've got nothing better to do."
Rachel hesitated for a moment. "Alright. Come on, we're going in my car," she said as he hurried out the door.
Once they got to the parking lot of the gym, Rachel ran out of the car and into the gym. She quickly tied her tennis shoes and tightened her pony tail as she set herself up on the court.
"You're late, Miss Crawford," her coached said.
"Sorry coach. I didn't mean---"
"Save it. Just don't let it happen again. We've got a lot of work to do. Now, get out there and practice."
Rachel nodded and took her position on the court. Through out the entire practice she took her frustration out on the ball. When it was time for a water break Rachel wandered over to where Brian was sitting. She sat down next to him and caught her breath. Brian smiled and handed her a water bottle from her gym bag.
"You look good out there," he commented, patting her leg.
"Thanks," Rachel replied and took a sip of her water.
Feeling the pain rise in her lungs she drew in deep breaths. She felt Brian put his hand on her back.
"You all right?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.
"Yeah. . .could you. . .reach in my bag. . .and give me. . .my inhaler," Rachel said breathlessly. Brian quickly reached into her bag and pulled out her inhaler. "Thanks," she said then took two puffs of her inhaler. Rachel handed it back to Brian and took another sip of her water. "I better get back out there. The break's almost over," she said as she stood back up.
"Are you sure you're all right? Maybe you should ease up a little," Brian said.
"I'm fine. I promise," Rachel said then gave him a kiss.
Rachel hopped off the bleachers and ran back to her position on the court. It was her turn to serve the ball.
"Alright, show them what you got," she heard her coach yell.
Feeling slightly dizzy, Rachel shook her head and focused on her serve. She tossed the ball into the air and did a jump serve making it hit the ground of the other side of the net. Applause roared all around the gym.
"Alright, Rach!" shouted Brian.
Rachel weakly smiled and prepared herself for her next serve. She wiped the sweat from her forehead, closed her eyes, and relaxed herself. Pain rose from her chest, but she ignored it. Don't let it get to you! She coached herself. She opened her eyes and served the ball, but this time it hit the top of the net. Disappointed in herself, she set herself up and waited for the other side to serve. Her heart pumped hard against her chest. She shook it off as she got herself ready to defend her side of the court. The ball was served right over to her. Suddenly the room began to spin and the pain began to intensify. Rachel gasped for air and collapsed to the ground.
"Everybody back away!" shouted her coach. "Rachel, are you okay?" she asked as she huddled over her.
"I can't. . .breathe!" Rachel gasped.
The coach helped her up as the first aid crew helped her into the training room. After a few minutes, her breathing began to flow back to normal and she was calm. She was sipping on a cup of water when Brian came into the room. His eyes were filled with worry. Rachel's coach came in behind him and sat down in front of her.
"I just spoke with your doctor. She told me about your condition. I hate to do this, but I'm going to have to withdrawal you from the team."
"No!" Rachel argued. "Coach, I'm okay. I can play."
"Rachel, you have to quit doing this to yourself. I'm only doing this because I care about your health. Playing on the team is only going to make you worse. You need to get the surgery taken care of. Maybe you can try again next year after you've recovered, but right now you need to concentrate on getting better. You understand what I'm telling you?" Rachel nodded. "Good, you take care of yourself and I'll see you next season," she said then walked out of the room, leaving Rachel and Brian alone.
Rachel looked up at Brian. "I suppose you hate me now."
Brian shook his head. "No. . .no I could never hate you. I wish you would have told me, but I could never hate you."
"I'm so sorry," Rachel said with tears streaming down her face.
"Shhh, it's okay. I'm not mad," Brian said as he hugged her tight. "Come on, let’s get you home."
"Okay," she said in between sniffles.
Rachel was silent on the way home. When they reached the parking lot, Brian reached over and placed his hand over hers.
"I'm here for you. You know that, don't you?" Rachel nodded without looking at him. Brian picked up her hand and kissed it. "Let’s go inside."
They went inside and Rachel didn't speak a word to him. She walked into her room, changed her clothes, and laid on her bed in the dark. Brian left her alone for over an hour. Her mind was swarming with a millions thoughts and questions. Rachel clutched the teddy bear he had given her earlier that day and silently cried. She was so into her mental pain that she didn’t hear Brian come into the room. He laid down next to her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Want me to fix you something to eat?"
"I'm not hungry," Rachel replied tearfully.
Brian sighed and held her close. "Baby, I know you're scared. It's a scary thing to go through. Believe me, I know. I still have memories about it every single day of my life. It's something I'll never forget, but you know what? I thank God for every day and everything he has given me. And I know he won't let anything happen to you. You just have to believe. Do you believe in God?"
Rachel nodded. "Yes. . .very much so," she said with a sniffle.
"All you have to do is close your eyes and pray and God will hear it. God takes care of his children, he will take of you. . .if you let him," Brian said gently.
Rachel wiped her tears and faced Brian. "Do you think so?"
Brian smiled and wiped the wetness from her cheeks. "I know so." He took off his shirt, exposing his scar. "You see this? This isn't just a scar to me. It's a reminder of how much God loves me because he allowed me to live." He placed Rachel's hand upon his chest. "And he will let you live too. You have nothing to be afraid of with him by your side. He's always here," he said as he placed his finger on her head. "And here," he continued by placing his hand over her heart.
Rachel smiled through her tears and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered. Her eyes narrowed down to his scar. She traced it with her finger. "Can I say something without you thinking too much into it?”
“What’s that?” he asked as he held her closer.
“I love you,” she said softly.
Brian smiled and kissed her forehead. “I love you too.”
