I was pacing back and forth across my living room.  The doctor was supposed to call that day with the results of the paternity test.  The wait was killing me!  I still hadn't explained anything to Gwen, she was just too young to understand it all.  I hadn't talked to any of the guys yet, either.  I needed to know before I went around upsetting other people.

The phone startled me out of my thoughts and I jumped for it.  I was so excited and nervous to answer it that I almost dropped the phone in my haste to pick it up.

"Hello?" I frantically asked.

"Howie...man, have you seen MTV lately?"

I let out the breath I'd been holding, it was only AJ.  Not the call I was hoping for.

"Listen, Aje, I'm kind of waiting for a call..."

"Is it about the results from a test?  Is it really true?"

How the hell did he know about the test?  No one besides Ashlynn and the doctor's office knew.  Well, there was also Audrey.

When I didn't say anything, AJ pushed further, "So it is true then?"

I decided to try and play dumb, though I'm not entirely sure why, "I'm not sure I know what you are talking about."

"C'mon Howie.  It's all over MTV.  They're saying you kicked Audrey out and that there's question of you being Gwen's father.  Why didn't you tell us?"

I could hear the hurt in his voice.  They were my best friends, so I could understand it.  I probably should have gone to them about it, but I hadn't expected it to get out before I was ready to tell the story.

I let out a long sigh, "I guess...I just wanted to figure things out before I said anything.  I didn't want to drag anyone else's emotions through this."

"But we're here for you Howie.  Always.  You shouldn't have to go through this alone."

"I'm not.  And I'm sorry.  I know I should've talked to you guys about it.  I just didn't expect it to be this big yet."

"So do you know yet?"

"No, I'm waiting for the doctor to call now."

"Have you decided what you want to do?  I mean, if Gwen isn't..."

AJ's voice trailed off.  I think he was just as scared of saying it as I was of thinking it.  That didn't make it any easier.  I kept having to push the thought out of my head.  It all got harder when I felt her small arms wrap around my leg.

"Hiya daddy," she grinned up at me.

I tried to force a smile for her, but I'm not sure it really came off.  Then the call waiting beeped.  I froze.  That nervous excitement returned and I wasn't sure I actually wanted to click over.  My life was at that point where anything could have happened.  I wasn't ready to hear that my life was over.

I heard the beep again, I felt Gwen's arms tighten around my left leg, and I knew it was time.  I had to know.

"Alex, I need to call you back."

"Is everything okay?  Are they calling?"

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me, "I don't know.  I'll call you later."

I pushed the button to click over to the waiting call and put the phone back up to my ear.

"This is Doctor Robert's office calling for Howard Dorough," the female's voice announced.

I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feel of Gwen, "This is Howard."

"We have the paternity results back Howard.  Official forms have been mailed out, but Doctor Robert's insisted we call you immediately."

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" I hesitantly asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry Howard.  Doctor Robert's wanted us to call to congratulate you..."

Anything the woman said after that was lost.  My eyes popped open and I grinned.  Actually, I think I yelled.

"Why you yellin' daddy?"

I bent down and wrapped Gwen in my arms.  The phone had been forgotten and it was dropped to the floor at my feet.  I was too happy to worry about that.

"Daddy is happy, Gwenny bear.  Daddy is very happy."

"You skwishin me daddy!" Gwen giggled, and I just squeezed tighter.

I had spent the next hour calling AJ back, and making phone calls to the rest of the guys, as well.  I had to do some damage control.  I knew if AJ was hurt by my leaving them out of the loop, Brian and Nick would be as well.

I'd just hung up with AJ, and I was scrolling through my cell phone for Brian's number when a call came through.

I recognized Audrey's cell phone number and I hesitated answering it.  I didn't want her attempting to ruin my afternoon.

"Hello Audrey, what do you want?"

"I was just calling to check in.  I saw MTV news this afternoon," I could hear the grin in her voice, leading me to believe she was the cause of the MTV leaks, "Get any results back yet?"

"As a matter of fact, I did.  I'm a little busy right now though.  You're going to have to wait, you're at the very bottom of my list of phone calls."

"That's fine.  I just wanted to make sure you were preparing yourself.  I have contacted my lawyers."

"That's very kind of you to warn me, but I think we'll be fine," I hung up on her, not wanting to give her the satisfaction on an argument.

I immediately went back to my phone calls.  I found Brian's phone number and made the call.

"Hello Howard."

"So I guess you saw it, too?"

"I just don't understand why you felt you could come to us?"

"Like I told AJ, I just didn't want to drag anyone else through it."

"We would've found out anyways.  It doesn't matter what happens, Howie, we're your brothers."

"I know that, and I'm sorry.  It will all be okay, though, because I got the test results back."

"Well congratulations Howie.  What's the next step?"

"I file for sole custody."

Brian and I discussed it all.  He tried to make me look at all possibilities, but I was confident in myself.  I wish I'd listened to him, but you can't go back and change things.

I had a brief conversation with Nick as well, apologizing to him as well.  I was on my last, and best, phone call.  Ashlynn had been waiting just as impatiently as I had been, and I probably should have called her first, but I needed to talk to the guys.

"So?  What's the deal?"

"Well hello to you, too," I tried not to laugh or sound too excited, but it was difficult.

"C'mon Howie!  Did you hear yet?"

I gave in easily, "Yes I did...she's mine."

"See!  I told you!  And you doubted me!  So what do you do now?"

"I go to my lawyer and file for sole custody."

"That sounds so...scary."

I simply nodded, "Can you watch Gwen for me?  I don't want to take her down there."

"How could I say no to you?  Bring her over whenever."