Aj had been standing at the sink getting ready for the past 45 minutes while I, once again, frantically dug through and pretty much completely rearranged my entire dresser looking for something to wear for the day's festivities. I sighed when I walked into the bathroom behind him after finally settling on a red maternity shirt and white capri pants... with the hideous elastic waistband... yep I'd stooped to that level and frankly by that point I was beyond giving two shits, let alone a damn.

I yanked a towel off the rack and flipped it at Aj as he jumped and quickly moved out of my way. I was a woman on a mission and I'd be damned if my ever-preening husband... the one who always took far too long to get ready for everything... was going to get in my way. He gave me the evil eye and I shot him my best "don't even start with me" glare and he backed up pretty quickly and left the bathroom in a huff.

We'd had a pretty big argument that morning... about nothing in particular, at least nothing that was my fault. It was never my fault. How dare he pick a fight with a pregnant woman to begin with. I couldn't even tell you at that point the exact details surrounding the fight except that I remembered it was regarding my job yet again and the fact that he felt I was working too much and too hard for a woman in my "condition" and I'd be daggoned if the man hadn't actually used that word when describing my pregnant state.

"What the fuck Aj!" I'd remembered spitting as I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me, "our CHILD is not a CONDITION!"

And that had been the end of it. I hadn't said two words to him since then even after he had groveled. He'd apologized profusely and said he was wrong and repeated all of the little sayings he'd always used everytime we'd gotten in a fight before about how he'd never say any of those things again and how he'd been wrong to say them in the first place and he made me feel like crap because I knew he was right but I also knew he was lying. He would say those things again... he always did. And he had a right to be worried about me... to be worried about our baby.

I'd spent the afternoon stewing in the guest room, lounging out on the balcony and following all that up with a nice long shower and I'd come to realize that Aj was probably right. That I probably was working too hard and spending too much time doing things that I shouldn't be doing... but what right did he have... what right did HE have to TELL me I had to stop. It was never asking, never suggesting... always telling. Always bossing and that's what made me angry.

So here we were, getting ready to go to a fourth of July party at Brian and Leighanne's house in LA and we weren't even talking to each other. I could suck it up and go apologize to my husband or continue being a bitch and allow the night to go to hell in a hand basket. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment, trying to summon the courage to be the bigger person... at least this time around. I finally decided to suck it up and apologize. For myself and for everyone else. Jessica and Aj Mclean were supposed to be the 'fun' couple. Who would I be if I spoiled that image.

We were all lounging around the pool in the backyard, fully stuffed and content. Dinner had long since been served... my favorite too... grilled out hamburgers and hotdogs with cole slaw, potato salad and baked beans... I could have married Brian right on the spot if it weren't for the fact that I was already married to Aj and he was married to Leighanne. There was something about a southern boy with a heart for burgers and dogs and good southern food that turned me on. Or maybe it was my pregnancy cravings, which for some reason unbeknownst to me had always included burgers with onions and pickles, that would have allowed me to fall in love with Brian in that very moment that I saw him hovering over the grill that night.

But anyway, backing off my tangent... we were all lounging around the pool in the backyard, Baylee was sleeping soundly in his room upstairs, and it was just the adults... having adult conversations and sipping on adult beverages (well... not Leigh, Aj and I... we weren't allowed... we were just living vicariously off the tequila fumes). We were just enjoying ourselves. It was nice. Aj and I had all but forgotten our earlier argument and were cuddled in one of the large lounge chairs together watching as the fireworks exploded in the distance. It was a beautiful sight on a beautiful, warm summer's evening. I was finding myself enjoying being in the company of these people even more. I was looking forward to the birth of my baby and the start of a new life as a Backstreet mommy. Heck... maybe I'd even try my part at being a better Backstreet wife.

Somehow the conversation turned to baby names...

"I like the names Carmen and Isabella," Leigh said as she settled into a chair next to Howie. It was funny to look at the two of us... she was only five weeks behind me in her pregnancy but I looked ready to pop anyday... bloated and stretched out and she... she was still tiny and gorgeous. To say I was a bit jealous... well duh.

"And I like Kahlani," Howie continued as he reached over and rubbed his wife's tummy in an adorable gesture of affection.

"Kahlani?" Nick smirked reaching over and patting Howie on the back... "Isn't that the name of the girl you met way back when we were..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence as Howie reached up and clamped his hand over his mouth. But it was too late.

"Sooo..." Leigh began as she shot Howie a dirty look, "who's this girl Nick's talking about?"

"No one." Howie sighed giving Nick the 'if looks could kill' look as Nick walked sheepishly across the room and sat down beside Brian. "She was just a fan... and I love the name."

"I see." Leigh was obviously not convinced.

"How about you guys?" Brian asked in a quick attempt to change the subject. Thank you Brian for putting me on the spot!

"Um... we aren't sure... I mean... we haven't really talked about it yet."

"Really?" He asked looking at me like we were nuts, "You guys should get on that."

And thus began the conversation of what everyone thought we should name our child. There was a vote for Alex Jr. -- though I'm pretty sure that came from Aj and another vote for Nickolas OR Nickolette and we all KNOW who that suggestion came from... and a lot of other random suggestions that I pretty much blocked out.

The truth was we had talked about baby names. We'd talked a lot about the names and like the sex of our child we were keeping it secret. Well... we were keeping the sex a secret from ourselves... the name we were keeping secret from everyone else. We were thinking Madeline Grace for a girl and Liam James for a boy ... but we still weren't sure. We knew we wanted Madeline in honor of my mother and James in honor of Aj... but I had always believed in seeing a baby before having a final name choosen. So we were still waiting.

Finally and thankfully the conversation about baby names died out... along with the fireworks... and the conversation steered away from babies and onto something else. It was nice to be sitting in that place with those people... enjoying being a part of the Backstreet Family.