I'd somehow found myself back in the studio at Howie and Leigh's house, sitting on that same sticky leather sofa. I was uncomfortable and huge and like the last time I'd found myself there I was carrying my camera with me... and a snack. Only this time the snack wasn't for the nausea that I'd known as morning sickness. Nope, this time the snack was because I couldn't seem to go more than 15 or 20 minutes in a day without eating something. I stared down at my huge beachballish belly and rubbed it gently. I took a bite of my turkey sandwhich and pondered it all for a few moments... it was no wonder I was huge really.

Unlike the last time I'd found myself in this position, when I was a few weeks pregnant and miserably ill, this time I was really looking forward to hanging around while the guys recorded one of their newest songs. I glanced over to where Leigh was seated beside me, fanning herself with a magazine, suffering from an apparent hot flash and smiled knowingly at her. I was also looking forward to hanging out with my fellow pregnant Backstreet Wife. We'd been doing that more and more in the past few months... going shopping together, calling each other with pregnancy woes, hanging out at the swimming pool, and I was really enjoying it.

"Oh!" I jumped as little "Tad" kicked me mightily in the ribs and Nick jumped from his spot at the control booth and came flying over towards me.

"Are you okay?" he asked looking awfully concerned as Howie, Aj, and Brian stepped quickly out of the booth having seen their brother's reaction through the soundproof glass window.

I had to laugh, "the little one just kicked me in the ribs is all. I'm fine, promise! You guys can go back to work." Leigh and I looked at each other and laughed as all four of them gave visible sighs of relief. Hells bells, if they were that nervous 2 months before my due date... how was it going to be when the time actually arrived for me to give birth?

"Can I feel?" Nick asked as I winced in pain again. This child was definitely Aj's. Aj had a very annoying habit of shifting around listlessly all night long if he was having a bad night and on those nights he was always continuously kicking me under the covers. I nodded and pulled his hand over towards my tummy, watching as his facial expression changed from curiousness to awe.

"That's freaking amazing!" He said with a smile. "I mean... I think I'd completely forgotten what it felt like to feel that since it's been so long since Leighanne was pregnant. I always remembered how cool Brian said it was."

I turned towards Brian who had that 'lost puppy dog' look in his eyes and nodded towards him when he raised his eyebrows in question, "Go ahead." I pulled his hand towards me this time and I'd never forget the look in his eyes. "I miss that feeling." He said as he started to tear up. It was no big secret Brian wanted to have more children... if it was up to him they'd probably already have 2 or 3... but Leighanne was happy with one and she ruled the roost when it came to the idea of children. I smiled as the other guys slowly worked their way back into the studio... nothing to see here, just a little discomfort.

Aj remained behind though and cozied himself in between Leigh and I. He reached over and placed his hand on my tummy and waited. "Tad" had a wonderful habit of ceasing all movement anytime Aj was anywhere near. It was as if our child already knew and wanted to torture the dad a little bit early on. I laughed when finally an almighty kick erupted beneath my ribcage. I jumped again because it hurt like the dickens, but the smile on Aj's face made it so completely worth it. The silence that stayed in the air, the look in his eyes and I'm sure the look in mine. The simple understanding that passed between the two of us. This was our child and we were in love. And the two of us could hardly wait to open our hearts and our lives and allow this little soul to become the next huge part of both of us. We sat there together in that moment for a while before he finally stood and walked back into the recording booth after giving me a sweet kiss on the lips that told me everything I needed to know about love and life and how happy he made me.

I looked over towards Leigh and watched as she laughed. I had to laugh with her.

"Sideshow attractions," I said as I reached over and pulled her hand towards my belly which was now jumping and swaying every few seconds. She laughed again as she felt my little one kick and responded, "sometimes feels that way."

I looked at her and smiled... "But it's SO worth it."