I could hear Aj singing in his studio from the bedroom as I stood in front of the mirror and tossed my hair up into a messy ponytail. I could have listened to him sing all day long, my favorite Boyz II Men song... he always knew exactly the right songs to turn me on and I highly suspected he was singing that one because he knew I was still annoyed with him for a number of reasons. I silently prayed that JC would keep him occupied long enough for me to sneak out of the house without him noticing. That old saying "it's easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission"... Yeah... well, let's just say I was banking on forgiveness later that afternoon when I returned. He owed me a forgiveness or two anyway, at least that's what I figured.

I threw on my tennis shoes and glanced at myself in the mirror once more before I hurried towards the garage, grabbing my purse off the back of the couch and swinging the door open just in time to run smack into JC who was apparently already IN the garage grabbing a can of Coke from the refrigerator Aj kept out there for his buddies.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry Jess?" He asked, rather loudly and I nearly cursed when I heard Aj abruptly stopping singing, ending right at "So many nights I dream of you, holding my pill--"

Crap.

'Finish the lyric', I thought to myself, 'keeeep singing!' But it was too late. I heard footsteps down the hall and that was that. Caught red-handed.

"Yeah Jess?" He said giving me the stink-eye, "just where do you think you're going?"

I shot him my best dirty look and a finger for good measure. He'd been on me like white on rice ever since the "passing out" incident in the hospital. I'd taken leave from my job and he'd pretty much kept me at home, confined to whatever room had a bed or a sofa, since then.

"I... um..." I tried to think up a good lie. I could tell him I was going to the store to get groceries... but he'd already done that. I could tell him I was having a craving, but he'd insist on picking that up himself. The only defense I'd ever had to use to get out of the house when he annoyed me was to go buy pads and well... staring down at my extremely pregnant belly I figured that excuse would go over just about as well as a turd in a punchbowl (it's a southern thing... don't ask).

I decided to go with a craving but realized I'd thought about it too long when I looked up to find him standing there, arms crossed over his chest, staring right through me. "Don't even try," he said when I started to mumble again. "Where are you going for real?"

"To the hospital," I sighed in defeat as he shook his head in annoyance. I hadn't wanted to even deal with telling him at all. Hadn't wanted him to get in between me and my work, but he'd already managed to do that. Today was going to be the last opportunity I would have to see Matthew... he was being sent home on Hospice... and I was going to go see him regardless of what my jackass of a husband wanted me to do.

"Look Aje," I sighed as I watched JC turn to walk back towards the studio after telling us he'd leave us alone to 'talk'... argue was more like it... "I didn't want to go into all of this but I have a patient who is leaving the hospital today..."

"That's great," he interrupted without giving me a chance to finish my story, "I'm sure your patient will come back and visit the hospital plenty of times in the future and you can see 'your patient' then." (No really, he said it sarcastically with finger quotes and everything).

That was the last straw for me.

"You know what Aj, screw you!" He stared at me, a bit taken aback. I'd been very docile lately, playing along with his games of 'let Aj be the boss daddy' and I think it shocked him to see me standing up for myself again. It felt good though and seriously... screw him.

I turned to walk out the door and he grabbed my arm, "Jess really... is this necessary? I mean you... the baby?"

I hated when he tried to turn his assholishness around on me. I'm being a jerk, but let's make Jessica feel like shit for endangering the life of our child. UGH!

"Aj," I said turning back towards him and shaking my head in disgust, "I'm fine, the baby is fine, no episodes for a week. And for your information -- you shithead -- if you'd let me finish telling you, the patient will NOT be coming back to the hospital. He is going home on hospice where he will remain until he dies."

I watched as his head fell, prepared for his groveling before it even began... surprised when it never came.

"Go then," he said as he turned to walk back towards his studio. I was shocked that he'd let me win without too much of a fight. I hoped he felt like as big a butt head as I thought he was.

"Just be careful."

I rolled my eyes. "No Aj... I thought I'd be extra dangerous."

He frowned at me and sighed, "You don't have to be a bitch Jessica."

Ouch.

I walked over to him and took his hand in mine. "I'm sorry Aje." I shrugged, "sorry you think I'm a bitch and sorry that it's so hard for me to deal with being 8 months pregnant and not being able to tolerate my husband constantly being on my back. It sucks okay?"

He shook his head and gave me a hug.

"I'm sorry Jess, you know I just don't want anything bad to happen to either of you." He rubbed my tummy and I sighed heavily.

"I know Aj... you need to chill out though. We will be fine."

He sighed again, "I'm sorry about your patient."

"Thank you." What else was there to say. He was at least acknowleding the face that I had a dying patient now. That was a step in the right direction. I didn't expect him to ever understand what it felt like.

"He's 14 years old Aj," I whispered, not sure why I told him but I did.

"God Jessica."

"Yeah."

He hugged me again and kissed my forehead, "Just be careful... please."

I nodded my head and kissed him again before walking out the door and climbing into the car. I wasn't looking forward to this day at all. I'd be going to the hospital and spending a few minutes at best with Matthew before he left. He'd been surrounded by family and friends for the past week and today would be no different. I didn't want to intrude... just wanted to say goodbye. Chances were Matthew wouldn't even know I was there.

I pulled slowly out of the driveway and stuck my Boyz II Men CD in the stereo, wiping a tear as I drove along listening to my favorite song with the windows rolled down and my thoughts on Matthew...