Brian was sure his heart stopped with Nick's as he stood there in shock. The doctor lifted Nick off the floor as one of the nurses shooed them all out of the room. Brian stood at the door, refusing to completely leave the room. The nurse pushed him gently past the threshold and shut the door.

All of them were too stunned to do anything. Brian stood at the door, peering in through the little window, watching the doctor and nurses rushing around his friend. Kevin looked at Jane and Bob, "What in the world happened that the sight of the two of you would do that to him?"

Jane's eyes flooded with tears, "Maybe we should all sit down and everything can be out in the open."

Kevin nodded, prying Brian away from the doorway and motioning for the other two to follow him. Once they were in the waiting room, Jane took a halting breath and started to explain.

Katya watched the doctor as he listened to Nick's chest with his stethoscope. The nurse readied an injection of something and they stood back a little as Nick came around. They didn't know how he would be when he came around, so they stood back and watched.

Nick put his good hand to his forehead, "Ugh. What happened?"

The doctor inspected the new bump on his forehead, "Something upset you greatly. Do you remember what it was?"

Nick thought about it and remembered the faces at the door, then just seeing red from there on out. "Yes. The man and woman that were in here, I don't want them back in. Ever."

The doctor nodded, "You need to take it easy, you lost a lot of blood tonight and that little performance split some of your wrist back open. When we came in we thought you had gone into cardiac arrest, luckily it was just the heart monitor feed that had fallen off of your chest, but Young Man, you were certainly on your way there. I'm going to restrict visitors tonight. You need rest right now, not more stress. From the looks of what you tried to do to yourself last night, more stress is the last thing you need. "

Nick nodded, "The rest of them can come back tomorrow though?"

The doctor nodded, "Yes, but for the rest of today and tonight you are going to rest. If you hadn't harmed yourself, you would have been in here in a few days anyway, you were on the borderline of exhaustion." He took Nick's arm and stabbed the needle into it, bringing a hiss from Nick. Soon the arm was numb and a nurse started to cut the bandages off of his wrist.

When the bandages were pulled away, Nick looked down at what he had done to himself. Some of the stitches were stretched or broken. It looked painful, but thanks to whatever they had put into his arm, he didn't feel anything. He laid back onto the pillows and looked away as the doctor went to work on sutures. He concentrated on the lights surrounding the nurses and the doctor around him. The lights didn't flicker and fade away like before, now they stayed. He swept his eyes over the room, looking for Katya. He couldn't find her. Then he remembered her words. "If you want to see me, you will. If you want to hear me, you will." He closed his eyes and concentrated on seeing her, hearing her. When he opened his eyes again, he saw her standing beside the bed, her hand resting on his, concern in her eyes as she looked down at him. He met eyes with her and turned his hand over on the bed, laying his palm against hers. She smiled a little and he smiled back.

The doctor finished his work and stood up, "Ok, all fixed. Now let's hope this is the last time I have to do this. Give the names of the people you want to be able to see you to the nurse and we'll make sure anyone that isn't on that list is kept out. "

Nick nodded and looked at the nurse, waiting with a pad and pen. Nick rattled of the names of his bandmates and his brother and sisters, even though he knew they wouldn't be coming. That was really all the people he wanted to see. She nodded when he finished and adjusted his pillows and straightened his covers. She went over the call procedures if he should need any help and then left.

When she went out the door, Nick looked up at Katya. The tears welled up in his eyes again and he curled in a ball on the bed. Katya knew she wouldn't be able to feel anything, but Nick would and that was all that mattered to her as she crawled into the bed behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She did all she could do, she held him and was there for him until he was ready to talk about it.

He turned to her almost an hour later, wiping the tears from his eyes, "I need to tell someone. Can I tell you?"

Katya brushed his hair from his eyes and nodded, "You can tell me anything."

He cuddled closer to her, needing to feel a connection with someone, no matter how tenuous. With a deep breath he started in on what had driven him to suicide.