Brian's jaw dropped, "You need to leave the Backstreet Boys?! NO! Absolutely not. Without you there IS no Backstreet Boys!!"

Nick put a hand over Brian's mouth, "Let me finish."

Brian nodded from behind Nick's hand.

"I need to leave the Backstreet Boys for a little while. Not forever. I just need to get myself straightened out. I'm no good to anybody like this."

Brian calmed down, seeing Nick's point. "Well then, we postpone the rest of the tour and use the time to write songs and get ourselves renewed and ready to go back to work when you are. My god, Nick. We get a vacation! Whatever shall we do? I don't think we'll be able to handle it, it may be too much for us."

Nick smiled, "You'll work, you know you will Bri. Write a song for me?"

Brian nodded, "I'll try. Only if you'll sing it for me when you get back."

Nick held out his hand and they shook on it, "Deal."

Brian sighed, "Where are you going?"

Nick shrugged, "Sterling is going to find somewhere for me. Where no one is going to know who I am and somewhere I can get over this and get on with my life."

Brian could hear the strength in his voice and watched as the light around him seemed to strengthen at the same time. He didn't know why, but it made him feel better.

Nick saw him looking strangely at the air around him and knew what his friend was looking at, "You are looking at the light aren't you?"

Brian looked surprised, "How did you..."

Nick smiled a little, "You've been seeing glimpses of them your whole life, you just didn't know what they were."

"Yeah."

Nick nodded, "I have so much to tell you. Katya explained it all to me. She told me that you can see the lights too, that's why we seem to gravitate towards one another."

Brian raised an eyebrow, "Katya?"

Nick looked around the room and didn't see her, "The one that you saw when I was on the floor. Brian, I owe my life to her. She's the one who stopped me from cutting deeper than I did. She's the one who practically carried me to your room."

Brian closed his eyes remembering something, "Was she the one that yelled my name when you were at my door?"

Nick nodded, "That was her. She was the one in the ambulance too. She's been by my side the whole time."

Brian took all of it in. "Ok, so tell me about the lights."

Nick and Brian talked for a long time, Nick telling Brian everything that had happened to him and what he had learned from Katya. When he was done, to say Brian was stunned would be an understatement. He tried to open his mouth and talk a few times only to close it again.

Towards the end of it, Katya came silently back into the room and stood by the doorway, not sure if Nick wanted her back in. She listened as he explained about the lights around those who were living on grace and how Brian had that light.

Brian finally got his speech back, "So I was right about the grace thing? How cool is that!" He became a serious, "Were you scared Nick?"

Nick nodded, "Only when everything came down on me at once, when I felt like I was being ripped into pieces. Brian, if you hadn't called out when you did......I couldn't hang on any more. I would have...."

Nick trailed off and Brian nodded in understanding, lifting Nick's face with his fingers under his chin, "But I did. Let's not think about what would have happened."

Nick nodded slowly and looked up to see Katya standing at the door. "It's ok Katya."

She came closer and stood at the foot of the bed, looking at Brian, who was looking at her in wonder. He stood up, "Thank you. If I could hug you, I would. I owe you so much."

Katya was a little taken aback, and a lot confused, "Owe me? Why?"

Brian looked at Nick, "If he had...." He trailed off and Katya knew what he was getting at, "I wouldn't have survived it. He's my best friend and I owe you a lot for saving him. Thank you. It's not much, but it's all I can think of to say."

Katya didn't know what to say to that. She had only been doing what instinct told her to do, not for thanks.

Brian smiled at her, "Man you certainly earned your wings watching after Nick, he's a handful."

Nick shook his head, "Oh no! Now you've done it! She's not an angel. Trust me, I asked. Got a very firm answer on that one. She is not an angel!"

Katya had to smile at his teasing tone. "I'm not Nick. Not even in my wildest dreams."

Brian sat back down on the bed, "Well then, what is your story?"

Katya sat on the other side of the bed, "My story?"

Brian nodded, "Everyone has one, What's yours?"

Her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she closed her eyes, "I don't remember. When I close my eyes I can feel a bed below me and blankets and I can hear the wind and snow on a window pane, but that's all I can remember. "

Nick held her hand, "You can't remember anything before that?"

Katya shook her head, "Just little bits that don't make any sense at all. It seems so far away, like I'm looking at the bits that I do remember from a long distance."

Brian cocked his head to the side, "What are in the bits?"

Before Katya could answer, Sterling came in the room with a smile. "I found a place."