Nick and Brian looked up and Nick raised an eyebrow, "Already?"

Sterling nodded, "It has everything you asked for and an open space that they are holding for you."

Nick smiled, it wasn't quite up to par with the smiles Brian was used to from Nick, but then again, none of them had been for a long time. That was when he would know Nick was truly better, when his smile came back.

Sterling took the smile as his thanks and continued, "They can take you tomorrow. So we'll have you on a plane tomorrow morning."

Brian's head snapped up, "P-plane? What do you mean plane? How far away is he going?"

Sterling looked at Nick for permission to tell Brian and Nick nodded. Sterling sat on the bed, almost on top of Katya, who got out of the way. "Montana."

Nick nodded in approval, "Do they have snow?"

Brian looked at him like he had lost it completely, "Snow?"

Nick nodded, "I miss snow. Sterling asked for preferences of where to go, what I wanted. I asked for snow. " He looked at Sterling, "Do they have snow?"

Sterling nodded with a smile, "A foot and a half and expecting more."

Nick nodded again, "Good. What else?"

Sterling looked at all the information he had written down, "Well, they have a great reputation. They deal exclusively with people who have attempted suicide and they specialize in the issues that go along with it. They have short term and long term patients, a world renowned staff and something I think you will really love about it. They are pioneers in the area of art therapy."

Nick's smile got just a tiny bit bigger.

Sterling patted his hand, "I thought you would like that." He handed Nick a bag, "Kevin gave me this to give to you."

Nick looked inside and found a long sleeved sweatshirt, some tear-aways, boxers, socks and shoes. It was just like Kevin to think of something practical like this, he knew Nick would be itching to get out of the hospital gown.

Nick set the bag down on the bed and looked at Brian, "Can you tell the guys what's going to happen?"

Sterling stood up, "No, Brian can't. But you can. They have been sitting out there worried sick about you, they deserve to her from you what is going on. You need to do this, Nick."

Nick sighed, he knew he couldn't avoid facing the music any longer. "Ok, let me get changed. I'm not going out there with my butt to the breeze for all the world to see."

Brian sat down on the bed and grabbed the brochure of the place Nick was going that Sterling had put on the bed, "Ok, I'll wait. Don't fall in."

Nick rolled his eyes and went into the little bathroom. He took his time changing, pulling out all the clothes and laying them on the edge of the sink. Folded in his sweatshirt he found a note,

"Nick,

Sterling told us what happened to you. I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. I'm more sorry that maybe something I did made you not feel you could come talk to me about this. Whatever it is that I did, I'm sorry.

I may be way out of line and making things worse, but I know you feel like you have no mother or father, like you have no one who will take care of you. You do, Nick. I've always cared about you and looked out for you. If you need someone to look up to, like a big brother or a father figure, let it be me. We've been together so long, you and I, that I feel like I've practically raised you. You've always been like a brother to me and I've always felt like I want to protect you from the world like a father would a son. Heaven knows I've been hard enough on you like a father would, but it's only because I see so much potential in you, Nick, and I want to see you grow into the man I know you can be. And when you do make it through this, and you will, I know I will be as proud of you as I would be of my own child.

I understand if you don't want this. Just don't bring it up and I'll know to leave it alone, but I just wanted you to know how I feel.

Whether you take me up on this or not, you'll always have me in your corner,

Kevin"

Nick leaned against the wall, feeling the tears sliding down his face. But for the first time in a long time, they were tears of gratitude. Someone wanted him, not because they had to, but because they wanted to. He felt like he was blind not to have seen that he had a family, it may not be biological, but it was all the family he had right now and maybe all the family he needed to see him through this.

He dried his tears, washed his face, brushed his hair and teeth and changed, feeling almost human again. It was such a relief to be out of that contraption they called a hospital gown. He took a few deep breaths and walked out of the small room, the note from Kevin firmly held in his hand.

Nick stopped short when he saw that the room was a lot more full than when he left. Sterling looked at him, "I thought in here would be more private."

Nick nodded and looked at his friends, no his family. They all looked like hell and he imagined he didn't look much better. Then his eyes fell on Kevin. The light pouring off of Kevin was incredible, it seemed to reaching out for him shining with love and understanding. It felt wonderful to be wanted simply because of who he was on the inside, not because he was family and had to be kept that way, not because he was Nick Carter, Backstreet Boy. No, just because he was Nick.

Kevin was looking at him with an expression anxiety and hopefulness, praying he hadn't done anything to make Nick worse.

Without a word, Nick walked over to Kevin and stood in front of him, shyly looking down at his feet, only to quickly look up at Kevin and then back down at his feet.

Kevin knew the next move was up to him. He held open his arms and the next time Nick looked up, he saw Kevin waiting with open arms for him. His bottom lip quivered as he threw himself in the older man's arms and held on for dear life as Kevin wrapped his arms around Nick, tears in his eyes.