Nick looked at her in shock. She was just like him. Only she couldn't go back. Nick felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. No wonder she had done everything she could to make him leave here. She knew what he was going through. She knew that he was one of the few with a chance to go back and she didn't want to see him waste it.

He pulled away from her hands, "I....I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

Katya looked at him, "Don't say anything. Just do all of us who are stuck here a favor. Take the gift you are being given, Nick. Take it for all of us who aren't going to get the choice to leave."

Kevin stood at the door of Nick's room. For a month now, Kevin had been coming here every Sunday for Visitor's Day. For a month he had been watching Nick standing at the window staring aimlessly. They had even moved themselves to Montana to record, to be closer to Nick, in hopes that them being around more than once a week would bring him back to them. They each took turns coming in every day, even if it was only for 15 minutes, but Sunday's were always Kevin's day.

Nick never moved from the window, hardly ever slept. The only time he seemed to sleep was when Kevin was there and sat with him in a rocking chair in the room, set in front of the window. Kevin had the chair brought in, because all the rocking Nick did was getting hard on Kevin's back as he tried to keep up with the motion. This way he could sit them both in the chair and rock Nick for hours while he slept and still be able to stand straight at the end of it all.

The room was littered with drawings. Pictures were hung on every available surface, walls, chairs, doors. Most of them were of people around him, like Brian and AJ and Howie, Aaron, all his sisters and there were a fair amount of him too. The ones that had everyone intrigued though were the ones of a woman none of them knew. Well, Brian made like he didn't know who it was, but everyone had heard his gasp when the first picture of her came off of Nick's fingers. The woman always looked so sad. Nick never drew her with a smile on her face.

Drawing was the only thing that could get Nick's attention. He would be in the same trance state all of the time, until someone placed a piece of paper in front of him and curled his fingers around a pencil, then he seemed to come alive. All of Backstreet, including Kevin had sat in a chair in front of Nick and watched as he looked at them carefully, never saying a word, and started to draw. Sometimes he would draw what he saw in front of him, other times, when they would talk to him about things that had happened to them, or some memory from the past, they would be amazed to see that Nick had drawn it in detail on his paper. Somewhere he was listening. If only they could reach him enough to want to come back.

Kevin gripped something in his hand and walked in the door. He sat in the rocking chair and popped the tape he had in his hand in the boom box that was sitting on the table beside him. He pressed play and looked at Nick standing in front of the window, "Nick, Brian told us he owed you a song. Well, I hope you don't mind, but the rest of us helped him with it and we want you to hear it. We mean every word of it."

Nick heard Kevin's voice reaching him. It made him feel safe. Then he heard something new. He heard music. Katya heard it too. They both stopped and listened. Brian's voice reached their ears and the other three came in with him on the choruses.

(this is an actual BSB song, I have just changed some of the words and singular to plural to make it fit the story it's under their copyright and that of the songwriter and in no way am I purporting that I wrote it. *the author*)

Don't say a word I understand you want to know if I'm still your friend

Nick can't you tell by the touch my hand I'm gonna be there for you every way that I can

Chorus: We'll hold you love you We'll never let you go for always We'll stay just look in our eyes and you'll know

We'll be there for you wherever you go whatever you do We've got forever inside for all of your life We'll be there for you

Don't ever doubt your trust in me I'll give you my heart so honestly deep in my soul you'll find the truth I'll never change I promise you

Chorus: We'll hold you Love you Never let you go For always I'll stay Just look in my eyes and you'll know

We'll be there for you wherever you go whatever you do We've got forever inside for all of your life I'll be there for you

Nothing and no one can tear us apart you'll always be here inside of my heart and just as sure as the stars shine above no matter what happens you can count on us

Chorus: We'll be there for you wherever you go whatever you do We've got forever inside for all of my life We'll be there for you

We'll be there for you (when the morning comes) wherever you go (when the evening falls) whatever you do oh yah for all of your life We'll be there for you

Kevin let the song finish and looked for any reaction in Nick. He just still stood there at the window, staring forward. He sighed, this was their last ditch effort to get him to respond. Kevin stood up and walked to the door, trying to hold in the tears of disappointment.

Suddenly, the tape started playing again. It was the last chorus. Then it stopped again and played once more. Kevin slowly turned around, almost afraid of what he would see. He saw Nick standing there with his eyes closed, listening. His breath caught in his throat.

When it finished again, Nick opened his eyes and turned towards the windows again, staring out of them.

Kevin bit back the sigh of disappointment and looked down at the floor trying to hold back the tears for the second time.

"Kevin?"

His head whipped up so fast, Kevin thought that it would tumble clear off his shoulders.

That was Nick's voice! It was soft and a little hoarse from disuse, but it was Nick's voice. His own voice was shaking from the emotions running through him. "Yes, Nick?"

Nick turned around and looked right at Kevin for the first time in a month. "You are flat."

Kevin nearly whooped in joy but managed to contain himself, "I'm what?"

Nick went back to the tape deck and rewound the song and played the last chorus again, "There. See, you are flat."

Kevin listened and damned if he wasn't flat like Nick said! Kevin chuckled and smiled at Nick, "I meant to do that. It was a whole ruse to get you to talk to me. It worked."

Nick's face fell out of the stone mask of indifference it had been in and a smile graced his features for a brief second, "Sure, Kev. Whatever."

Nick turned back towards the windows and reached one of his hands out to touch the cold glass, "Can we go for a walk outside? I want to walk in the snow."