Day by Day, Nick seemed to be pulling himself together, growing stronger in who he was and what he needed to be happy.

Right now what he needed to be happy was what he had around him. Three friends who were closer than brothers to him and then there was Kevin. Kevin was his savior. Nick knew if it wasn't for Kevin giving him something to hold on to, someone that wanted him just for the simple fact that he was Nick, that he would still be lost in the wilds of his tortured mind.

Ever since he had come out of his "really long blonde moment" as the guys liked to call it, Kevin had been there for him at every turn. And if Kevin wasn't physically there, Brian was. More than ever the three of them were family and it would have been just fine with Nick for him to be known as a Richardson or Littrell. The name Carter didn't seem to suit him anymore, even the mention of his last name brought up the feelings of betrayal that were going to take a long, long time to fade.

The therapy sessions with his counselor were hard on Nick. He came out of them walking almost like an old man, dragging his feet, his shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world was on them. But he knew it was part of getting over this and getting better. The session that Katya had taken control of had been a turning point for Nick. As much as he hated to talk about the whole situation, he was finding the more he talked about it, the easier it got to deal with. When he held it inside, it seemed to grow larger until it started to eat him alive, but talking about it took the power away from it and it didn't seem so enormous and destructive any more. Howie, Kevin, Brian and AJ watched in awe as the defeated and bitter nick blossomed into a new, confident young man.

At first his bandmates didn't know what to make of the new Nick, but when they saw that the playfulness and utter craziness that was the essence of Nick was still there, they learned to adapt and accept the more serious and well....grown up side of Nick too. He was still the same guy they all knew and loved, but something in his eyes, if you knew to look for it, told you that the new found maturity had cost him dearly in pain and suffering.

The doctors and staff at the clinic were thrilled with Nick's progress and he had them as well as most of the female population of the clients wrapped around his finger. He had always been something of a charmer, but with the vulnerability that had been exposed by all he had gone through only seemed to add to his charm and it gave hours of amusement to his bandmates as the rode him about it until Nick was begging for mercy.

He worked long and hard at overcoming his demons and though the work was the most grueling and painful thing he'd ever undertaken, it was also the most worthwhile. He felt for the first time in his life that he knew who he was. The hard work was rewarded by his doctors when they started allowing him to leave the clinic to be in the studio with the rest of Backstreet. Music had been the one thing absent from his life since coming to the clinic. Singing was absolutely forbidden as was any reference to the band. Nick balked at the ridiculousness of it, but as time went on he understood the logic.

The doctors knew Nick was hiding behind the identity he had in the band, convincing himself that Nick the Backstreet Boy was all he was and all he ever would be, but slowly, over time, without having that to fall back on as who he was, Nick started discovering who he truly was without all that. He knew now that when the roar of the crowd faded and the lights went down, that he wouldn't feel as empty and lost as he had before, because he knew that Nick the BSB and Nick the person were two very different people that just happened to cohabitate in his life.

Nick stood at the window to his room and thought over all he had discovered about himself in the past year, both good and bad and knew that his life was never going to be the same, but now that he was on the road to overcoming all that had been thrust at him, that his life would be different, yes, but better. And it would start tomorrow when he was released from the clinic.

He sighed, as much as his life was coming together now, there was one thing that was missing. It was Katya. He wanted to see her one more time, to let her know how much she meant to him, how much she had helped him. Without her....without her he wouldn't have a life to put back together. She had risked herself time and again for him and beyond anything else, he wanted to make her proud of him. To make her know that all she had taught him and sacrificed for him was worth it and that he wouldn't ever take the gift of his life so lightly again.

Nick was brought out of his thoughts when his door banged open and a breathless and agitated Brian stood there. He caught his breath and looked at Nick, "I found her Nick."

Nick jumped, "What...how? Katya?"

Brian nodded, "I know where she is. I saw her."

Nick stood there, stunned, almost afraid to believe that he would see her again.