Saturday evening, Mia twisted Raidyn’s hair into floppy curls that fell over her shoulders. “Your going to look hot tonight.” Mia teased, taking a seat on the bedside. Her yes were suddenly welling up. She missed the dates, the kisses, being wanted. Her old self.

“Are you alright?” Raidyn asked with a concern look on her face, as she pulled on a pair of black tights “You constantly look like your going to burst into tears” she pulled on a light blue Henley with a squared neckline and her black wedged heels and they walked down the hall.

“I’m fine…I just haven’t had much luck with men lately.” she informed with a crooked smile as they both took a seat on the sofa. The ringing of the phone made them jump and she answered. “Hello…ok I‘ll tell her. Bye” she smiled. “He’s outside!” she informed hugging Raidyn out of the blue. “Be good” she whispered then yelled “USE PROTECTION…PLEASE!” as she headed to the bedroom.

Nick gasped as he watched Raidyn step out, she was looking great, but he could see the uncertainty in her face. He hated that about her, if only she could see what he and many others saw in her. She opened the door and sunk into her seat, she turned to look at him. His expression scared her “I look horrible, Mia told me…” she blushed and looked away.

“Uh…actually the opposite. I’m fighting the urge to jump you right now.” he smiled, making her smile. He caressed her cheek with his thumb as he pressed his lips against hers. “You look great baby…” he revved the engine to the Mustang and they headed to their date.

The drive was silent only the radio playing softly. Raidyn fiddled with her fingers nervously, she didn’t know what she expected. She glimpsed over at Nick, who saw her from the corner of his eye and smirked.

“So where are we headed?” she asked, clearing her throat.

He placed his hand on her leg “Just calm down, I’m not going to do anything to you. I thought we would hang out at my house tonight. AJ, Beth, Angel and Chris went out clubbing so we have the place to ourselves.” he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

“ha…ha…very funny!”

“I tried…” he hopped out and before she could get out he was at her side. He took her hand and helped her out, his arms were around her waist instantly. She hugged him and rested her head on his shoulder as they walked into the house.

A nice aroma drifted in the house, of rice, cheese and chicken. “Umm…it smells good.” she smiled. “Let me guess…enchiladas?”

Nick laughed “Wow! How did you know?”

“My mom is a pro at making them, I just skip them all the time.” she smiled weakly.

He smiled and lead her out to the patio, the tiki lamps flickered with the breeze and in the middle of the patio sat a small round table with a white tablecloth, a red candle in the center, two wine glasses and two plates. He walked her over, snickering at the surprise in her eyes.

“Well they aren‘t your moms, but Claudia is a good cook and you can‘t skip them tonight.” he pulled out her chair and she took a seat.

“Alright” she smiled.

He nodded and put out his finger “Be right back” he took the plates and disappeared into the kitchen. A couple of minutes later he came out with the food and placed the plates on the table.

Raidyn blushed, she was dreading having to eat in front of him. It was rare when they ate together and if they did, she mostly pushed her food around. Oh shit! Ok just eat slow, push around your food. Wouldn’t it look more ridiculous if you don’t eat, you didn’t get big, by NOT eating. EAT! As she took small bites of the delicious food, she could feel Nick’s eyes on her. “What?” she blushed, wiping her mouth.

He smiled at her “Nothing I just like to watch you.” dinner time was over and he took her hand and they walked towards the beach, a blanket was spread out waiting for them.

“Your so romantic…who would have known.” she giggled as he pulled her onto the blanket, they laid face up, watching the stars and chatting away about random things. “So what’s your family like?” she turned onto her stomach, propping up on her elbows and resting her chin in her hands.

He laid on to his side, propped on his elbow “Hum…well my dad is a congressman, very critical and arrogant, but he’s a passionate man in what he does. My mother…uh…erm…nothing nice to say about her, so we will skip her. My siblings are the best. BJ is helpful and caring, she struggled with alcoholism for a while, but she is much better. Leslie is sweet and peaceful, she stays out of the spotlight, dad has always put her down cause she has been fighting an eating disorder for the longest. Some take what others say about them to strongly, that would be her. Aaron and Angel are twins and they are a mess…Angel has always been close to me, Aaron is turning into my dad so…that’s the family. We are all a little screwed up, but we love each other.” Nick cleared his throat “What about yours?”

Raidyn’s eyes shifted back to the ocean “Uh…well…my mom is a hardworking woman, who deserves much more than what she has. Mia is a little screwed up, her mother died when she was only twelve and so we took her in. We’ve gotten along really well until now” Nick shifted, imagining the cause of their distancing. “Then there was Nora…” Raidyn smiled at the name “She was my little sister, now she was sweet, loving, funny, so smart.” she stopped and pursed her lips.

“You don’t have to continue…” Nick caressed her hair.

“It’s ok…she died two years ago, we were ice skating on the lake and she…fell…through and I tried to help her…but I couldn’t see her and I don’t swim…that brings me to my dad…he used to be caring and fun, every Sunday afternoon we would all go to the park and just hung out, he laughed a lot and after we lost her he just…died along with her. He blames me any chance he…” Nick wiped the tear from her cheek.

“How about we change the subject?” she nodded with a weak smile, he pressed his mouth against her ear and whispered. “Did I tell you, that you look amazing tonight.” she turned to look at him with a smile and he kissed her.

She trembled with the breeze that picked up and sent a chill down her spine. “It’s cold…” she whispered.

“Let’s go inside then.” he stood up and helped her to her feet. They walked back into the house “Let me find you a blanket” he walked down the hall as she entered the restroom.

Raidyn looked at herself in the mirror What if tonight is the night? Oh god, I’m not prepared, who cares. I want this…I really do. I’m not afraid. Who am I kidding, I’m terrified. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? What if I suck at it? Suck…at it…ha…ha…ok I have to stop that… she sighed hard and took a seat on the toilet to think.

Nick rummaged through the kitchen cabinets quickly, then his bathroom and the one down the hall, his dresser and nothing. He couldn’t find not one condom in the whole house, he wasn’t taking chances tonight. He loved her, but one baby on the way was enough to drive a man crazy. “Shit” he muttered taking a last peak in the dresser.

She walked into his room and heard him rummaging “Hey…” she giggled at his startled expression.

“Oh…hey…” he tucked his hands in his pocket “I was just…I found the blanket.” he held up a dark blue blanket.

“I think I’ll sit for a second, that wine was strong.” she took a seat at the edge of the bed, she could feel the nerves twisting in all directions in her stomach. He took a seat next to her, placing the blanket over her shoulders. “Thank you.” she giggled “Who would have thought you were so nice Mr. Carter”

Nick leaned in and engulfed her mouth, she tilted her head and placed her hands on the side of his face, as his wrapped over her waist and pulled her closer. She slowly leaned back and he came crushing down on her, their mouths never parting. He was kissing her hard and his hands made way under her shirt. His breathing elevated as he felt her skin, his hands ran from her stomach to the small of her back.

She unbuttoned his shirt, one button at a time and once his body was exposed her hands ran up and down his chest, his bare arms and his back. His kisses went from her mouth, to her eyes, her nose, behind her ears, her neck, and her shoulder. Ok Raidyn this is it…take a deep breath and take it off. Raidyn took a deep breath and pulled her shirt up over her head and closed her eyes. She was to afraid to see his face, but the fear disappeared as she felt his teeth graze the exposed skin of her breast.

He laid over her, his arms supporting him. He could tell that she would go as far as he wanted her too, but it couldn’t be tonight. As much as he wanted it, it couldn’t be tonight. He felt her pull him against her and their lips met again. “I can’t do this…” he said getting off of her and sitting.

Her eyes grew wide and she covered herself up “What? I thought…” she sat up next to him. Unable to hide her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Please Ray don’t take this personal…it’s just that…your not on anything are you?” he looked up at her.

“No…” she shrugged, the tears threatening to spill.

“I don’t have anything here Ray…I just can’t do it…like that.” Nick could see the disappointment and the hurt in her eyes. It wasn’t her fault he had been so careless all those other times, thankfully Mia had been his first scare and she would be the last too.

She swallowed the knot in her throat “Oh…” she shook her head “You could screw Mia in the bathroom stall with nothing…and I’m here in your room, your girlfriend and…right, I’m not as beauti…ful” Oh this is great, throw yourself at the man and he turns you down. Yup definitely going on that diet and back to the pills…ugh!

“Stop Ray…it has nothing to do with that. It’s because it’s you and you’re my girlfriend…and I love you, that I want us to do it the right way.” he stood up and put his shirt back on.

Quickly she followed doing the same “I want to go home” she bit her lip to keep from crying and walked out of the room, he followed and grabbed her from behind “Let go of me…I repulse you right? You can tell me the truth!” she sniffled.

He buried his nose in her hair “No…not at all. You drive me crazy actually, I want to be with you just as much Ray.” he turned her around, she looked away, with his finger he moved her chin towards him “Ray…I want to do it right with you. If I’m doing this its because I care about you. Please understand me.” he kissed her, but she didn’t respond.

“I don’t care about that Nick. I just want to be with you.”

“Me too…badly! So stop those dumb thoughts…” he smiled at her, and she forced a smile and they began to kiss again, then he stopped “Alright how about we cut that out…come on I’ll take you home.”

The drive home was just as silent, Nick felt his brain might explode with all the thoughts that were swirling in his mind. Knowing Raidyn, she HAD taken it personal and it would take him a lot of kissing up to her, to assure her that it had nothing to do with her image. His mind diverted to Mia and their doctors appointment the following Thursday, he was praying, something he never did, for there not to be a baby and it be all a big mistake. Either way it would be a big mistake. He sighed.

Raidyn sat rigidly in her seat, her fingers pulling at the ends of her Henley. There was nothing that would change her mind, since when did Nick Carter care about not using protection. It had to be her, he just wasn’t THAT attracted to her that he would screw her in the bathroom or anywhere for that matter. She bit her lip again to fight the tears, this was just humiliating.