Another week passed by slowly. Alexa had officially stopped calling. She’d stop ringing the doorbell. She had left her key to Brian’s house taped to the front door with a simple note that read, “I give up.”

Though Brian didn’t expect her to chase him forever, seeing the words written in her loopy handwriting chilled him. Lying on the sofa with his ankles crossed, he stared blankly at the ceiling. When he closed his eyes, it was as if the words on Alexa's note were tattooed to his eyelids. I give up.

That’s what he had wanted her to do, wasn’t it? He was avoiding her, hiding from the intense feelings that were rushing through his body just so that she would walk away and forget all about him. He was a coward. He couldn’t even stand to look Alexa in the face and tell her that he wasn’t ready and that he couldn’t be with her.

Bria's avoidance had little if anything at all to do with Alexa. He was scared. He was scared of falling in love and losing it all again. By the time that he turned away from Alexa, it was too late. He had already fallen in love with her. Any kind of pain that he was feeling at that point in time was pain that he had inflicted upon himself. When they were together, he was ready. If he was honest with himself, the only reason that he’d even felt guilty anymore was because he thought that was what he was supposed to feel.

The pain of seeing his wife’s picture and all of their things wasn’t so much about the guilt of betraying her as it was about the fact that he’d finally let her go. Though Hayden would always be in both his heart and his mind, he’d finally let himself come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t coming back. Brian hated to believe that he deserved to be happy without her, especially after the no-doubt painful way that she and his baby had died, but the truth of the matter was that everyone was right. If Hayden was alive, she would grieve Brian, too, but Brian wouldn’t want her to be miserable forever. At some point in time, everyone has to let go; everyone has to heal.

The simple fact of the matter was that he wanted Alexa. He wanted her with all of his heart and everything inside of him.

Brian swung his legs to the floor and walked over to the window in his living room. The blinds were cracked just enough that he could see out, but no one could see in. He’d been feeling so creepy and stalker-like lately, but he couldn’t help it. His home had turned into a prison. He was stuck inside with only his thoughts of a past that he’ll never get back.

Brian paced back and forth in front of the window solemnly. What the hell is the matter with you? Brian thought to himself angrily. Just go to her.

“No,” He said aloud in the empty house. “She said that she’s given up. You have to respect her decision. She’s tired of your bullshit, Brian, she’s done.”

Stop being such a baby and take a chance in your life, his self-conscience argued.

Brian shook his head and laughed to himself. He walked over to the couch and sat down. With his elbows propped on his knees and his head resting in his hands, he groaned. “That’s it. You’ve really gone off the deep-end now. You’re arguing with yourself.”

Brian turned his head his head back to the window. Inside the house that sat across the narrow street he could make out Alexa’s figure. He sighed deeply. Just go.

In an instant, he was up from his place on the couch and walking quickly to Alexa’s house. As he approached, his pace slowed. Something was different. The garage door was opened and her rental car was sitting in the driveway. Brian glanced into the car. The inside was packed with boxes marked kitchen, bedroom and storage.

As he walked a few steps closer, he began to panic. Inside the garage were more stacked boxes. These were marked either Washington or New York. Brian’s heart began to thump in his chest. She was leaving.

He knew that she had said that she was only in Georgia for vacation, but part of him expected her to always be around. She had said that she was considering staying. Apparently, he had changed her mind.

Suddenly, his legs felt as if they were made of stone. Go, He thought to himself fruitlessly. Don’t let her leave. Give her a reason to stay.

Still facing the house, Brian stepped back a few paces. He was startled when he ran into the gated community’s chubby, older postman.

“Oh,” Brian spun around quickly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”

“That’s quite all right.” The older gentleman smiled at Brian. The postman knew Brian’s story. He had been working the same route for ten years. He noticed when the young couple, Brian and Hayden, got married and first moved into their house. He had noticed when Hayden’s baby bump had begun to show. And of course he had noticed when young Hayden disappeared. He was only in the neighborhood for about an hour a day, but any observant person could see the toll that the death of his wife had put on Brian. So, of course, the old postman noticed when Brian had started to spend time with Alexa. “It’s a shame that the pretty girl is leaving.”

Brian looked up sharply and nodded slowly. He looked back over at his house wondering how rude it would be for him to just walk away from the imminent conversation. He didn’t need an old wise man in his life. Brian shrugged. “Vacation’s got to end sometime.”

The postman chuckled. “I guess that’s true in a literal sense. Only if that feeling of vacation could last forever, huh?” The postman shrugged his beefy shoulders. “Ah, well. She’s a sweet girl. Her vacation will find her again.” With a final nod of his head, the postman left Brian on the street dumbfounded.

Using the postman’s analogy, Brian thought to himself with a sigh, I hope that her next vacation can make her happy. He lowered his head and walked slowly back to the safety of his prison.

-------

From inside her house, Alexa watched Brian walk away and sighed. Seeing him coming toward her house had made her hopeful, but as she watched him disappear into his house she knew it was for the better. Now, he’d never have to know who she really was.

It had angered her that he was so willing to let everything that they had slip away after they had gotten back from Kentucky, but what did it really matter? No matter how happy they could have made each other it all would have come crashing down eventually. She would rather be the one hurt than the one who had done the hurting and if things had continued with she and Brian, eventually she would have hurt him.

Alexa flopped down onto the couch. The house was mostly empty. Anything that actually belonged to her was packed away in a box. She knew that Ben had paid for the house until the end of the month, but there was no reason for her to stay any longer. The next day she and the few boxes that she had in her car were going to be boarding an airplane to New York City. Home.

She inhaled deeply thinking that she probably could have stayed where she was forever.

Her cell phone vibrated on the coffee table in font of her. She looked at the caller ID; it was Brooke.

“Hey big sister.” Alexa answered half-heartedly.

“Oh, no.” Brooke responded, knowing her sister. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired, I guess.”

“Too much ‘research’ down in the Dirty South, eh?” Brooke joked, causing Alexa to chuckle.

“Yeah, something like that. What’s up?” Alexa laid back on the couch and covered her eyes with her arm.

“Nothing really. I saw that you called yesterday. Sorry that I didn’t get back to you.” Brooke replied.

“It’s okay. I just called to let you know that I’m officially leaving the 'Dirty South' actually.” Alexa laughed softly. “I’m going back home tomorrow.”

“Is that what you’re upset about?” Brooke asked, though she didn’t need to. Alexa didn’t uproot easily.

“Yes and no.” Alexa shrugged to herself. “I kind of like it here.”

“Well then you’ll love Washington!” Brooke exclaimed, putting as much emphasis on the word ‘love’ as she could muster.

Alexa laughed. “How does Washington have anything at all to do with Georgia? If anything, Washington is more like New York.”

“Well,” Brooke started. “Lance and I are thinking about moving to Maryland. That’s only a train ride away from DC and Maryland is pretty nice.”

“You’re losing me here, B.” Alexa replied. “Are you really moving?”

“Well, see, Lance and I need a bigger place.” She said with a smile. “We were thinking about Cherry Hill, maybe? A house in the suburbs with a room for Wes, a room for Aunt Alexa and we need an extra room to turn into a nursery.”

“Get out!” Alexa exclaimed jumping up from her place on the sofa. “You’re pregnant, too?”

Brooke was taken aback for a moment. “What do you mean ‘too’? Alexa you’re not… are you?”

Alexa closed her eyes and shook her head. “No, no. Sorry. Forget that. A friend.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack, although it’d be nice to be pregnant with my sister.” Brooke laughed.

“You’d better wait to have your third one then,” Alexa joked. “So, how far along are you? When did you find out?”

“We found out yesterday and I’m about six weeks along.” In her Washington, DC home, Brooke's skin was already glowing.

“That’s really good, Brooke. I’m really happy for you.” Alexa laughed softly. “Don’t go all postpartum on your kids and leave them like mom did.”

Brooke laughed. “You don’t have to worry about that.” Brooke paused. “So, I was really thinking that maybe you’d come stay with us for a while. Go to school. Find a job. Whatever you want to do. Our family is growing and I want you close by.”

Alexa sighed. “I’ll think about it, okay? I’m not making any promises, but to tell you the truth, I may not have any other choice.”

“What do you mean?” Brooke asked.

“Let’s just say that my research isn’t going so well.” Alexa sat back down and crossed her legs. “It’s okay though. It’s probably for the better.”

“Aw, Sweetie, I’m sorry.” Brooke replied sympathetically. “I know that you had your hopes for Jive.”

Alexa smiled to herself. “Seriously. It’s okay. If I can’t find something else, then I’ll be with you and Lance and Wes. That’ll be good. We’ll see what happens.”

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Brooke inquired. “You don’t sound good.”

Alexa sighed, wondering if she should tell Brooke about Brian. “Well,” she started when she finally gave in. “I kind of met someone over here and it didn’t really work out.”

“You’ve been there for months! Why haven’t I heard about him?” Brooke exclaimed, annoyed. Alexa tended to be so private sometimes.

“Don’t freak out on me!” Alexa laughed. “It was over just as quickly as it began.”

“Well,” Brooke prodded. “Tell me about him anyway.”

Alexa rolled her eyes and smiled. “He’s… well, he’s amazing. And there’s not that much to tell beyond that.”

“Come on, Aly.” Brooke whined. “Give me some details. I have to live vicariously though you.”

“I don’t know.” Alexa replied. “You seem to be living a pretty good life over there, Miss I-have-a-successful-rich-husband-and-I’m-having-his-second-baby.”

Brooke laughed. “Yeah, yeah.”

“I actually need to go. We’ll talk about him another time, okay? I promise.” Alexa conceded, though secretly, she was hoping that Brooke would forget.

“Okay,” Brooke said with a sigh. “Call me tomorrow and let me know that you got home safely.”

“I will,” Alexa replied. “And you be good to yourself. Don’t stress too much and hurt my baby.” The girls both laughed and hung up the phone a minute later.

Alexa got off of the couch and walked over to the front window. I wonder if I should at least go try to say goodbye? She thought to herself and then shook her head. Just leave well enough alone, Aly. Go home.

-------

Hours had passed since Brian had stood in front of Alexa’s house willing himself to knock on the front door. The morning was quickly creeping up. It was now 6 a.m., but he was out of bed, pacing the floor in his bedroom.

Inside, his heart was at war with his head. Back and forth they would fight. Go to her. Stay. She makes you happy. You’ll end up miserable.

Brian sat on the edge of his bed and laid his head in his hands with a groan. “Stop it.” He said to himself. He was more tortured inside than he had been since the first few months after losing his wife.

Was it possible that he was making the biggest mistake of his life by letting her go? How could something that felt so wrong, be the right thing for him to do?

Alexa had said something on the drive up to Kentucky that had stayed with him. Hayden’s book had to have an ending. Her ending was written before they even got together. She was only allowed 25 years on this planet and then she would be gone. So, maybe Brian really had done everything that he could to make her the happiest that she could be in the last three years of her life.

At this point, Brian didn’t really know if Hayden even had anything to do with the fact that he was being so stubborn about being with her. He’d left guilt behind the moment that he had climbed into bed with Alexa. It wasn’t about guilt anymore.

He had to decide if he was going to live his life being afraid of the world, afraid of loving someone and letting someone love him or if he was going to live again.

At that moment, Brian stood and walked back over to the window. Across the street Alexa locked the front door, put the key under the mat and dragged a heavy suitcase to her car. Once again, Brian became panicked.

This is it, He thought to himself. She’s leaving for real. You can’t let her go.

Like a cannon, Brian shot down the stairs and out the door. “Wait!” He called as he ran across the street where Alexa was just climbing into her car. “Don’t go.”

Alexa sighed and closed her eyes refusing to turn around. “What are you doing here?”

Brian grabbed Alexa by the waist, forcing her to look at him. “I said don’t go.”

Brian’s touch sent chills down Alexa’s spine and the pain in his eyes sent an aching to her heart. She shook her head. “You’re too late. I have to go.”

“Alexa, I know that I’m a mess.” Brian began as he held onto her waist. “I’m an emotional wreck. I’m moody. You can’t trust my judgment as far as you can throw me, but there’s one thing, if it’s the only thing that I know right now and that is that I can’t let you go. Not yet. Not now.”

Alexa closed her eyes willing him to stop touching her. “You don’t understand. It’s too late. I’m not who you think I am. I don’t have the type of money to live in this house or anywhere near this neighborhood. I-”

“Why do you think that something as stupid as money would matter to me?” Brian exclaimed, cutting her off. “Are you listening to what I’m trying to tell you?”

“I really wish that you wouldn’t. I really wish that you would let me finish.” Alexa shook her head, but stopped when Brian pressed his lips against hers. Instantly, she melted in his arms.

He cupped her face in his hands gently and forced her to look at him again. “Alexa Owens. I am madly, deeply, completely in love with you. I want you to stay. I want a chance to make you fall madly, deeply, completely in love with me, too.”

Silent tears began to fall down her face. “It’s too late you idiot.” Alexa replied softly.

Brian began to shake his head in protest, but Alexa put a finger up to his lips.

“It’s too late because I fell in love with you a long time ago.” Against her better judgment and before she was able to tell Brian anything, they were drawn together again.

Brian leaned down with a soft smile on his lips. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and kissed her with all of the passion that he had inside until Alexa pulled away and kicked him in his shin. “Ow! What did you do that for?”

“That was for sleeping with me, leading me to believe that you wanted to be with me and then disappearing.” She chastised playfully.

Brian laughed. “You know, I thought that I'd made it pretty clear that I'm a mess, not to mention that I've made it perfectly clear that I completely want to be with you. I hope that you're ready, because it's going to be a hard task getting rid of me.”

Alexa looked down and pulled away slowly. “I'm really glad that you said that because I need to tell you some things, some important things.”

Brian cupped her hands in her face again. “Alexa, listen to me. Unless what you're going to tell me is life or death, it doesn't matter. I love you for everything that you've shown me that you are. I don't care about money or some petty bad things that you've done in the past. The slate is clean with me.” He chuckled softly. “And I promise you that I'm not gay.”

Alexa laughed and swatted him playfully, then leaned closely against his chest. “Do you promise me that you'll always remember this moment?”

“I promise,” he whispered.

Maybe he meant it, Alexa thought, maybe it could wait. Maybe it didn't matter. “Hey, Brian?” Alexa looked up at him and smiled.

“What's up, Beautiful?” Brian smirked back already knowing what that smile meant.

“How about we go back into that house behind me and make up for lost time?” She smiled and kissed the side of his neck. “Unless of course you want to take it slow.”

Brian moaned. “Screw taking it slow.” He picked Alexa up into his arms with ease and hurried to the door. When he got to the front stoop, he set her down so that he could reach under the mat for the key. After he unlocked the door, he took her back into his arms. “God, I love you.” He whispered into her ear. Once he'd said it the first time, it was easy. He wanted to tell her over and over again. He loved her.

Alexa looked into Brian's eyes and smiled. “I love you.”

Brian pulled Alexa slowly into the house and closed the door slowly behind him, shutting the rest of the world out of his enamored bliss. As he showed Alexa, exactly how he felt about her, his only wish was that the feeling would last forever.