Chapter 18

It was Christmas Eve and the Littrell home was bustling. Aunts, uncles and cousins roamed freely about the house. About an hour earlier, Alexa had gotten the chance to meet another band mate of Brian’s.

Brian’s cousin, Kevin, and Kevin’s wife, Kristin, hadn’t been expected. They were going to be in Kentucky, but had planned to stay at Kevin’s mom’s house throughout the holiday. Apparently, the day before, AJ had called and asked Kevin to stop by—for obvious reasons.

Alexa didn’t really know a Brian other than the one that she saw everyday. Sure, he had his moments, but mostly he was who he had always been—himself—however, to his friends, there was something amazing about having the Brian back that they knew and loved.

Alexa thought that this might have been the entire reason that neither AJ nor Kevin had recognized her. It was true that she had only been in a room with them for a matter of seconds, but it was at their record company. That had to be different than just any average person on the street, didn’t it? Though it was a relief that she had such a relatively forgetful face, part of her didn’t know whether to laugh or to be hurt by how ultimately forgettable that she was.

It looked like now she only had to dodge two more bullets. She had lied so much already anyway. If Nick or Howie did recognize her as Ben’s assistant, couldn’t she just lie to them as well and tell them that they must have her confused with someone else? Would that only make the situation worse? Technically, she wasn’t Ben’s assistant anymore, right? If things really did work out between she and Brian, couldn’t she avoid Ben for the rest of her life? That would be easy if Brian stuck to his guns about not being a Backstreet Boy any longer. Although, Alexa could sense that he was starting to miss it and she doubted that he would stay away from the group forever.

From where Alexa was standing in the kitchen, she could see Brian, AJ, Kevin and Harold outside playing basketball on the driveway. She couldn’t help but to shake her head at the scheming thoughts that were running through her mind. What kind of a relationship is a relationship built on lies?

That’s exactly what she and Brian had—a relationship built on lies. Her feelings for him were true and honest and she hadn’t really done what Ben had asked her to do, except she had knowingly moved in across the street from Brian and she had accepted money from Ben as salary for living there and for talking to Brian. No matter how she tried to spin things, the situation was bad.

Outside, Brian made a shot and high-fived AJ, who was apparently on his team. He looked toward the kitchen window and noticed Alexa peeking out. Brian waved for Alexa to join them outside.

Alexa simply shook her head and motioned for him to have fun and then disappeared from her place at the window.

“He’s a goner.” Kevin teased and patted Brian on the back playfully. “That pretty little smile has put stars in his eyes.”

Brian rolled his eyes and laughed. “Shut up. Can we just play basketball? It’s too cold out here to stand around talking like a bunch of girls.”

“Ooh,” Harold chimed in as he tucked the basketball under his arm. “And he’s defensive, too. Although, having actually spent some time with Alexa, it’s pretty easy for that smile to put stars in anyone’s eyes.”

“Oh, I don’t need to spend any actual time with her to see stars.” Kevin replied as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Hello?” Brian exclaimed. “I’m standing right here and remember your wives, both of you?”

“I don’t have any wife.” AJ chimed in with a smile.

Brian narrowed his eyes at AJ playfully. “Yeah, but you and I have had enough trouble fighting over women in the past. You’d better just watch your step ‘cause I’ll cut you for this one.”

AJ laughed and held his hands out for Harold to check the ball. “We’d better get back to the game before Bernardo takes out his pocketknife.”

Brian laughed and shook his head as AJ passed him the ball and the basketball game continued.

-----

Later, Alexa was sitting on the couch, glad to be distracted by Brian’s Aunt Sarah. The older lady was going on and on about the Christmases of her past, including one Christmas 25 years prior, when Brian was in the hospital suffering from his heart condition.

Though she hated to hear about Brian being on the brink of death, the story served to take her mind off of having to accompany Brian to a Backstreet Boys concert in just three short weeks.

“It was very, very heart-wrenching.” Aunt Sarah continued. “You know, they told Jackie and Harold to plan his funeral.”

Alexa’s eyebrows knitted in confusion and worry. She and Brian hadn’t spoken much about his heart condition. She had just assumed that he was fine. Was he fine? “That’s terrible.” Alexa finally squeaked out.

AJ rushed over to Alexa’s rescue as Aunt Sarah nodded her head and started to go on with her memories of little Brian laid up in a hospital bed. “Merry Christmas, Aunt Sarah.”

“Oh, AJ.” Aunt Sarah replied as she turned to AJ with a smile. “Merry Christmas to you too, Sweetheart.”

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to steal Alexa away from you.” AJ replied, smiling. He planted a kiss on the aging woman’s cheek. “Brian’s been looking all over for her.”

“Yes, yes go ahead.” She replied, waving them off. “We’ve been sitting right here. Sometimes, I think that Brian may just lose his head.”

AJ grabbed Alexa by the wrist. “You may just be right about that.”

Aunt Sarah turned to speak with another eager listener that was sitting nearby as AJ pulled Alexa around the corner to the foyer area.

“Thank you.” Alexa replied gratefully. “She was about to make me cry.”

“No problem.” AJ replied with a gruff laugh. “But you don’t have to worry. Brian’s fine.”

Alexa nodded. “Yeah, she did have me worrying about him. Speaking of, I guess I should go find him if you say that he’s been looking for me.”

AJ laughed again and shook his head. “No, Brian’s still outside with Kevin and Harold battling it out. My lungs can’t take that much physical exertion.”

“Oh,” Alexa replied with a shrug. “Okay then.” She sat down on the empty staircase and AJ sat down next to her.

“So, tell me about yourself.” AJ remarked. “You look so much like someone that I’m supposed to know that we should get to know each other anyway, right?”

“Um. Yeah.” Alexa replied uncomfortably. “What do you want to know?”

“How did you end up here? Where’s your family?” AJ asked while stuffing his hands in his pockets as another relative walked in through the front door sending in a chilling breeze.

“I just have a sister and she’s in Maryland visiting her husband’s family.” Alexa replied with a shrug.

“No parents?” AJ prodded interestedly.

Alexa shook her head. “No parents to speak of.”

“Man deadbeat parents are the worst.” AJ scoffed bitterly.

Alexa nodded. “One deadbeat. The other just dead.”

AJ paled suddenly, feeling like a fool. “I’m going to stick my foot in my mouth now.”

Alexa bumped him lightly with her shoulder and laughed. “It’s okay, but you seem to know about deadbeat parents yourself?”

AJ sighed and nodded. “Yeah. My dad ran out on me. My mom has been around. She traveled with me when I was younger. She was the Backstreet Boys' publicist for a while. Then she partied with her alcoholic son, wrote a book about me and got married. Let’s just say that we aren’t as close as we used to be.”

“Are you the alcoholic son?” Alexa prodded gently.

AJ laughed softly. “Man, you just get right in there don’t you?”

Alexa held her hands up in defense. “Hey, you ‘re the one that said that you wanted to get to know each other.”

“You’re right.” AJ grinned and nodded his head slowly. “And I’m the only son, so I guess that would make me the alcoholic. It had to happen to one of us, right? You don’t get a group of guys together in this sensationalized music industry and expect them all to be angels.”

“No,” Alexa replied. “You don’t, I guess. Not saying that you’re one of these people, but how much of it is brought on purely by not wanting to control one’s self versus not being able to control one’s self?”

“Yeah,” AJ replied, nodding. “It is a lot trendier to go to rehab now. Back when I went, it was a shock to the world. Now, everyone’s like, rehab? Oh, ok.”

“I don’t really know because I’ve never been there, but it seems to take away the validity of rehab for people that actually need it.” Alexa looked over at AJ who was smirking at her. “Sorry, I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“No,” AJ replied, shaking his head. “You’re totally right. How’d you get so smart? Did you ever go to college?”

Alexa sighed and shook her head. “Nope. I have a good private school education though if that makes it better.”

“Hey,” AJ replied, “Who am I to judge? I barely finished high school.”

Just then, Brian approached from down the hall, still holding his basketball between his arm and his side. AJ watched on as Brian and Alexa became mesmerized by each other.

“Hey,” Brian greeted and kissed Alexa softly. “What were you two talking about?”

“Rahab, mostly.” AJ replied with a shrug.

“And about how we’re both a couple of uneducated stupids.” Alexa added as AJ nodded his head beside her.

“Stop it.” Brian replied laughingly as he rolled his eyes. “As intriguing as this conversation sounds, I’m going to have to break it up. My mom wants you in the kitchen AJ. Apparently you’re her best taste-tester.”

“Aw, man, I love your mom.” AJ jumped up quickly and raced down the hall.

Brian sat down next to Alexa and kissed her softly again. “I missed you today.”

Alexa shrugged and smiled. “I’ve been right here. You’re the one who’s been MIA all day.”

“Pfft.” Brian scoffed playfully. “Details.”

“You know, you may be good when you play against those guys, but you haven’t taken me on yet.” Alexa teased as she stole the basketball from Brian’s lap and stood up.

“Oh, you couldn’t handle this, Baby.” Brian replied, standing also and stealing the ball back. “I don’t want to make you cry or anything.”

Alexa rolled her eyes. “Try me.” She then grabbed the ball back from Brian and took off running down the hallway. Brian grabbed her jacket off of the coat rack by the door and followed behind her quickly.

Outside, Alexa tossed the ball to the hoop and missed miserably.

“Here Michael Jordan.” Brian joked, stopping the ball as it rolled to his feet and tossing her the jacket that he pulled off of the coat rack. “It gets a little chilly out here you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Alexa replied as she slipped the jacket over her shoulders. “Stop being such a girl and throw the ball.”

Brian laughed and tossed the ball through the net with ease. “2 points.”

Alexa rolled her eyes and caught the ball as it bounced on the driveway. “Whatever. That was a lucky shot.”

Brian walked over to her menacingly. “It was? You think that you can do better?”

Alexa held the ball to her and ran. She got completely situated on a spot that was at an angle and threw the ball. It bounced off the backboard and went into the hoop. “In yo face. Nothin’ but net.”

Brian burst out laughing. “You’re so crazy, ‘nothing but net’ means that it doesn’t hit the backboard.”

Alexa laughed, too. “Okay, so I don’t really know that much about basketball and the only place that I can make a shot is from right here. Besides, I think that you made that up. It’s virtually impossible.”

Brian picked up the ball from the ground and threw it in with ease. “Nothin’ but net.”

Alexa rolled her eyes. “Show off.”

Brian laughed and walked over to her as Alexa backed up. “You’re the one that wanted to play.”

Alexa shrugged and smiled. “I didn’t actually think that you’d be any good. You’re like two feet tall.”

“Oh-ho-ho.” Brian replied, nodding. “Okay. I see how it’s going to be. We’ve got a trash talker.”

“Somethin’ like that.” Alexa laughed and then touched her lips with her forefinger. “But if you kiss me, the insults have no choice but to stay in.”

“That’s a good theory.” Brian replied. He put his arms around her waist and kissed her softly. He felt a sudden shiver run through Alexa’s body. “Are you cold?”

Alexa smiled and spoke breathily. “Something like that.”

Alexa took another step back, stumbling off the driveway. Brian reached out to catch her before she fell, however, they both ended up on the frost covered ground.

“You’re so clumsy.” Alexa said with a smirk.

Brian laughed. “I love how you like to blame everything on me, even when YOU were the one who tripped.”

“Pfft.” Alexa scoffed, taking a cue from Brian. “Details.”

Brian laughed. “So, you want to tell me where we left off before we ended up on the ground?”

Alexa smiled and pointed to her lips. “Right about here.”

A grin spread across Brian's face as he leaned down to kiss his snow covered angel again.

-------

The next morning, Alexa woke up to the smell of bacon cooking that was wafting in from the kitchen. She stretched and rolled over, only to find that the bed next to her was empty. She sat up and wiped the sleep from her eyes. As she was stretching again, Brian walked back into the room. He was carrying a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Brian said, smiling as he entered. “I brought you some breakfast. It’s kind of a Christmas tradition.”

“That’s sweet of you.” She leaned up and kissed him softly as he placed the tray over her lap. “Is everyone downstairs waiting for me?”

“No.” Brian replied, stifling the smile that was making its way to his lips. “I’m the only one up so far. Mom and Dad sleep in after the big party on Christmas Eve and AJ is either still at his hotel or he’s at Kevin’s house.”

“You did this?” Alexa replied with a smirk. “I thought you said that it was a tradition?”

“It is.” Brian laughed, stealing a piece of bacon off of her plate. “It’s my tradition.”

“I’ll take it.” Alexa replied, smiling back.

Brian leaned toward her, propping himself up on an elbow, and kissed her softly. “I got you something.”

“Brian!” Alexa exclaimed. “We already exchanged gifts when we were at home. I don’t have anything else for you.”

Brian rolled his eyes and pulled a small box out of the bedside table drawer. “Don’t be silly. I saw this and thought of you. It just… makes sense. Open it.”

Alexa sighed and ran her fingers over the blue felt box. Every girl loved a surprise, right? “Okay.” She untied the red ribbon that held the box shut and then opened the box slowly. It was a simple necklace with a lighthouse charm hanging from the chain. The lighthouse was platinum with one single diamond placed where the light should be.

Brian shrugged, embarrassed. “I know it’s really lame, but I thought it fit. You know, big cliché. You’re my guiding light. You’re the light that guides me through the storm. You’re my way home. Whatever.”

Alexa smiled and ran the charm back and forth through her fingers. “You’re right. It is kind of lame.” She joked with a wink.

Brian rolled his eyes as his cheeks turned pink. “Thanks.”

“BUT!” Alexa replied as she placed a hand gently on his face. “I love it so much. It’s beautiful to have something so simple that can say so much.”

Brian smiled and laced his fingers through hers. He kissed her palm softly and then moved to her lips. “I love you so much.”

Alexa smiled and kissed him softly and then leaned her forehead against his. “I love you, too.”

Brian pushed the tray of food off of Alexa’s lap and then pulled her on top of him. At that moment they didn’t care about where they were or who was around. For a while, they allowed the world to fade into the background.

Brian pulled back and ran his hands down her arms until his fingers laced with hers. He stared intensely into her eyes, knowing at that moment that he wanted to stare into those eyes forever. “Merry Christmas, Beautiful.”

“Merry Christmas, Brian.”

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The next few days passed by quickly. New Years Eve was spent at a party at Kevin’s house in Northern Kentucky, followed by a barbeque on New Year’s Day. The following day, January 2, Brian and Alexa began their drive back to Georgia.

They had to make one stop, however, at the airport to drop AJ off for his flight back to California.

They parked in the parking garage and walked AJ though the large airport to the security gate, which is as far as they were allowed to go.

AJ turned around and opened his arms to Brian. “I guess that this is it for now.” AJ said as he wrapped Brian in a hug. “It was really good to see you man.”

Brian sighed nervously, always weary of airports. “Yeah, man. You, too.”

AJ then turned to Alexa and wrapped her in a hug as well. “It was really nice to meet you, friend. Will I see you in a couple weeks?”
Alexa peeked at Brian out of the corner of her eye. “Uh, yeah, I guess you will.”

“Don’t you try to punk out on us, too.” AJ replied, placing a goodbye kiss on her cheek.

“I’ll be there, AJ. Unless this guy kicks me out before then.” Alexa smiled and took Brian’s hand into hers.

“We’ll both be there. We’re going to be the distracting couple in neon colors and flashing lights blowing bullhorns.” Brian replied laughing.

AJ shook his head. “If that will make you show up, then have at it. I need to get out of here before I miss my plane.”

Brian nodded and called after AJ, “call me as soon as you get home!” He sounded like he was joking, but in all actuality, he couldn’t have been more serious. Please God, Brian prayed silently. Let him get home safely.

Alexa squeezed Brian’s hand, causing him to look down at her as if he had forgotten that she was there. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfect.” Brian smiled and kissed the back of her hand softly. “How about we go back home?”

Alexa nodded. She looked up at the blue travel screen directly in front of her. The flight number of the next flight to Atlanta flashed at her. She smiled and nodded up at the screen. “You sure that you don’t want to fly?”

Brian shot her a look out of the corner of his eye and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “You’re funny, you know that?”

Alexa laughed and wrapped her arm around Brian’s waist as they walked through the airport. Two weeks, Alexa thought to herself. Two weeks until you know what your future holds, Aly. You’d better start praying now.