“What are you doing?” Colin yelled as he crouched down beside Alexa and checked that her breathing and pulse were stable. “Are you crazy? You weren’t supposed to hurt her!”

Ben Silverman turned to Colin and laughed softly. “Tell me Colin, why exactly did you think that I hired you? Did you think that I wanted to ask her out, but was too shy? Did you think that I couldn’t get into that party on my own? I got you the invitation; why do you think that I couldn’t have just kept it for myself? The thing about this arrangement Colin is that I didn’t tell you anything and I didn’t tell you anything on purpose. Now, Alexa’s blood is on your hands, too.”

Colin stood and shook his head. “No.” He backed away from Ben slowly. “No. You’re not going to get away with this. There are important people inside of that house.”

Ben narrowed his eyes and smiled evilly. He tossed the golf club to side, reached into his black jacket and pulled out a shiny black gun. He pointed the gun at Colin and laughed. “You really think that I’m going to let you walk away from here? I wasn't always a bad man, Colin. I’m still not a bad man, but when someone interferes with my life, revenge is the only word on my lips. You really don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“Listen, Buddy, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know anything about your life or about what went on between you and Alexa, but it’s not too late to turn this around and walk away.” Colin held up his hands and continued to walk back toward the house. “You don’t want to shoot that gun.”

Ben tilted his head and lowered the gun as if he was thinking about what Colin had proposed. “No,” he finally responded, “I think that I do.”

Colin let out a scream as Ben quickly raised the gun and pulled the trigger. Colin instantly fell to the ground while Ben stashed the gun away back into his jacket. He picked Alexa up off of the ground where she was lying, unconscious and bleeding. Before walking away, Ben dropped a note written on a yellow piece of lined paper. He then ran to a white, economy-sized van that he had waiting on the street.

Moments later, guests came pouring out of Brooke and Lance’s home. The only vision of Ben that was left was the flash of red tail lights disappearing around the corner and out of sight. Brooke’s hand flew to her mouth when she noticed that the man that Alexa had been spending so much time with that night was lying on the hard cement sidewalk with blood pouring from his chest.

Lance rushed over to Colin and leaned over him. He wasn’t breathing. “Everyone get back inside and someone call 9-1-1!” Lance called out into the crowd. All of the guests stayed in place, wanting to be in the center of the drama. “Now!”

Many of the guests didn’t appreciate being ordered around by their young host but they obliged and returned back inside of the house.

“Lance.” Brooke called meekly. She was scanning the guests for Alexa and was beginning to panic when she couldn’t find her. “Lance.”

Lance turned to Brooke. “Go inside, Brooke. We don’t know who is still out here. We need to keep everyone else safe.”

“Lance, I can’t find Alexa.” Brooke replied slowly. Her breathing was becoming labored. “Alexa’s not here.”

“Stop worrying about Alexa. She’s probably upstairs. We’ve got a dying man lying here!” Lance responded. He pulled his jacket off of his shoulders and pressed it to Colin’s chest in attempts to stop the bleeding.

“No.” Brooke cried quietly. “No! I watched her walk outside with him!” Brooke pointed down at the bleeding stranger. “She left the house with HIM! She’s been talking to HIM all night and now there were gunshots and Alexa is gone Lance! She’s gone!”

Just then, Brooke noticed the yellow piece of paper that Ben had dropped before sweeping Alexa away. She walked over and picked the letter up off of the ground. She unfolded the paper as the flashing blue and red lights of the police began to shine from the street ahead. The note read: “Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice.” Here’s to passionate revenge for the injustices of the supposedly loyal.

Brooke re-read the short note over and over, trying to make sense of what it meant, of what it could refer to. Her knees buckled under the weight of her pregnant body. A police officer caught her just as she was falling to the ground. Tears immediately leaped to her eyelids. “My sister is gone. Someone kidnapped my sister!”

--------

The next morning AJ awoke annoyed. He was supposed to be at the airport within just a few hours to catch his delayed flight to Orlando. After the fight that he and Brian had gotten into the night before, he hadn’t been able to sleep. He had tossed and turned and tried to block the noises that were coming from down the hall.

Maybe Brian was right though. Maybe if the roles were switched and it was Nick acting the way that Brian had been, it would be different, but whether Brian liked it or not, he had put himself up on that pedestal. He had held himself to a better standard than either Nick or AJ had held themselves. Maybe it wasn’t right, but that was the way that it was. In the long run, Brian was going to regret the decisions that he was making right now and over what? Over his heart being broken?

AJ knew that Brian had loved Alexa. He knew that Brian still loved Alexa and was struggling with that feelings inside of him. Brian was trying desparately to fight the feelings that he had for Alexa out of his heart. AJ also knew that Brian was having a hard time convincing himself that the things that Alexa did warranted throwing her out of his life forever. On the surface, Alexa seemed to have been hired to seduce Brian. However, when you looked deeper, that’s not what happened at all. She didn’t actively pursue Brian. She didn’t push him to join the group. In fact, she seemed to be so scared of Brian finding out that she used to work for Jive that the idea of Brian joining the group again scared her to death.

AJ threw the covers off of his body and stomped down the hallway. He wasn’t going to let these issues with Brian ruin another day. He flung the door opened and groaned at the sight of the young woman from last night still lying in Brian’s bed. She was practically hanging off the side, still naked from her and Brian’s activities from the night before. He walked around the room and picked up the woman’s clothes off of the floor and threw them at her on the bed. “Okay, no-name, your fun’s over. It’s time to go.”

The woman looked at him disgustedly for waking her up at a time that she considered early, though it was after 10 o’clock in the morning. “You can’t tell me to leave!”

Brian opened his eyes slowly and looked over at the woman. He sighed and then closed his eyes back again. “I can. You should go.”

The woman turned to Brian with her mouth hung opened. She then sucked her teeth and got dressed quickly. “I don’t need your small dick anyway, asshole.”

Brian laughed and slung his arm over his eyes. “Have a nice life.” The woman slammed the door and Brian stretched. “Do women not understand what happens when you meet someone in a bar?”

“Not when it comes to you.” AJ replied. He clenched his jaw. At this moment, he probably was being pretty hypocritical compared to the way that he had been during his lowest moment. However, Brian wasn’t an alcoholic drug addict. AJ leaned over and picked up a pair of sweatpants off of the floor. “And for God’s sake, get dressed.”

Brian rolled his eyes and slipped the pants on quickly. “Here we go again. What else do you have to say that you didn’t say last night?”

“Oh,” AJ responded. “We didn’t even get started last night. I’m not trying to run your life. I just know that this isn’t you. Why do you think that sleeping with a random woman every night is going to make you forget Alexa? Isn’t that probably doing the exact opposite?”

“Why do you keep bringing her up? This has nothing to do with her.” Brian exclaimed. He stood from where he was sitting on his bed and walked over to AJ. “I’m finally living my life. Isn’t that what you and Nick used to rag on me for? Being a devoted husband or boyfriend? Not having any fun with my life? I mean, if I remember correctly you thought that I was completely insane for ever getting married or settling down in any way, though you’ve been engaged what AJ, three times already?”

AJ glared at Brian. “You’re comparing yourself to a me that doesn’t exist anymore and never should have existed in the first place. You’re taking the advice of a man who wasn’t on this planet. Do you understand that? You’re being ridiculous. And I shouldn’t even justify your statement regarding how many times that I’ve been engaged, but that was low. I was engaged twice, both times to women that I loved with all of my heart—one of which I still believe that I could spend the rest of my life with. If you want to be like me and live every single day imagining what if, then be my guest.”

Brian rolled his eyes and turned to walk out of the room. “You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

AJ followed Brian out of his bedroom and down the stairs to the living room. “Oh, I don’t? Then why don’t you enlighten me?”

Brian shrugged. “There’s nothing to say. It is what it is. It’s sex. It’s companionship without the thought of ever getting too committed and then getting let down in the end. That’s it.”

AJ laughed and nodded his head. “Ah, I see. So, it’s about not wanting to take a risk? About not letting anyone in?”

Once they were down the stairs and standing in the living room, Brian turned to AJ. “When the Backstreet Boys first started out, I had this girlfriend, a friend of yours actually, Samantha. We lived together. I thought that we were going to be together forever. She couldn’t take the life that I lived—thought I didn’t care about her or something, so she dumped me. THEN, she wrote a half-true tell-all book about me. Then, I had another girlfriend. Hayden. SHE became my wife. SHE was going to have my baby. SHE died and I fell apart. And then, there was Alexa. She was paid to move in across the street from my house. She was paid to sleep with me, but I fell in love with her. I’ll admit it. I loved everything about that girl. She made me forget about my dead wife; she melted the ice that surrounded my very being. I still dream about being with her and in those dreams I’m happy again, but that still doesn’t make up for the fact that she betrayed me. How do I know that she EVER cared about me in the first place? Is that what you wanted to hear? You wanted to hear that I’m still hung up over someone whom I don’t believe that I really know anymore? Well, I am. I don’t want to be disappointed again, so I’m going to make sure that I never am. The end.” Brian grabbed the remote control off of the coffee table and flipped the television on before walking out of the room, leaving AJ behind.

Brian stormed through the dining room and into the kitchen. The swinging kitchen door flapped roughly behind him. He walked over to the pantry and began digging through the contents. He wondered when AJ had come to the conclusion that he suddenly had a Ph.D. in Psychology. Brian didn’t have anyone to answer to but himself and God, and lately, God hadn’t seemed to be listening that well. Brian pulled a box of cereal out of the pantry and stuck his hand inside the box as he leaned grouchily against the counter. Really, he wanted to cry, but he had decided weeks ago that he wasn’t going to be that weepy, distraught guy anymore. He had a roof over his head and food to eat; he didn’t have a damn thing to be crying over.

After having emotionless sex with the college co-ed the night before, Brian had rolled over and immediately began to think about Alexa. Some nights, mostly when he was sober enough to have a conscience, he would admit that he felt guilty for using the “woman of the moment.” He felt more guilty, however, for the woman to be lying on his bed in the spot that had for so long been reserved for one of two women, Hayden or Alexa. Brian could admit now that he had mostly let his wife’s memory rest in peace. He had let go of the guilt that he held onto pertaining to moving on without her long ago, but in these situations it was a little bit different, only because he knew that Hayden would want better for him.

When thinking of Alexa, it was different. Alexa was still alive. Alexa could be the one lying there in a heartbeat if Brian just picked up the phone and let her know how he really felt about her. That is, if she still felt that same way-- or if she ever felt that way at all. He felt guilty because Alexa was there for the taking, but instead, he chose to use women that he didn’t know to fill a void that was large enough to swallow them whole. It was like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a shovel—impossible. That was why he chose to drink himself into oblivion. On most nights, there was no chance of him being sober enough to care.

Brian sighed when he heard AJ calling his name from the other room. He sounded slightly panicked. Brian placed the cereal box down on the counter and ran into the living room, where AJ was watching the news. “What is it now?”

AJ gulped and looked over at Brian. He wasn’t sure how his friend was going to take the news. “Brian, it’s Alexa.”

Brian rolled his eyes and turned around, attempting to head back to the kitchen. “I thought that we were done talking about this.”

AJ grabbed onto Brian’s arm. “No, Brian, you don’t understand.”

Brian stared at AJ blankly. “Okay, then, enlighten me.”

“Brian, a state representative’s sister-in-law was kidnapped outside of her home in Maryland last night. One person is dead. The sister is no where to be found.” AJ replied, hoping that Brian would understand without him having to use Alexa’s name. The truth was, AJ didn’t want to hear the news anymore than Brian did. In the short time that they had known each other, he and Alexa had actually become friends, though they hadn’t spoken since AJ had suggested that Alexa let Brian be for a while. That was weeks before.

Brian turned his attention to the television. Though he partially understood what AJ was trying to say, it didn’t sink in until Alexa’s face flashed across the screen. Someone had kidnapped Alexa. Brian’s legs buckled beneath him. Luckily, the couch was there to catch him when he fell. At that moment, though it didn’t seem real, he broke his own rules. Unwillingly, tears began to fall down his face. He wiped the tears quickly and swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat. “No.” He whispered. “It’s not right. She wasn’t kidnapped. She just… she’s going to call her sister and let her know that she’s okay somewhere. She just wandered off. She’s a wanderer.”

AJ sat down beside his friend. He couldn’t imagine what Brian was feeling right now. First, Hayden dies in a terrorist-related plane crash and then Alexa is kidnapped and also possibly dead or dying. “Brian, I don’t know what to say. I know that this must be hard. Do you want me to help you pack a bag or something? I have to go back to the airport. You can catch a ride with me.”

Brian shot AJ a confused look. “What do you mean? Where am I going?”

AJ’s eyes widened. “What do you mean where are you going? You’re going to be with her family, aren’t you? Do what you can do to help find her?”

Brian leaned back against the couch and sighed. “First of all, I don’t know her family. Secondly, I’m a Backstreet Boy. I’m not a police officer or an FBI agent or otherwise. There’s nothing that I can do that they don’t already have covered. I’d only be in the way.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” AJ replied as he jumped up from his place on the couch. “If I were in your position, I’d be out the door already. I sure as hell would be there to support her family or field phone calls or something.”

Brian shrugged. “The police know where to find me if they need me.”

“You are utterly ridiculous!” AJ exclaimed, disgustedly. “I never knew that you were such a coward. I used to look up to you. I used to think that you were so brave in the face of so much! You’re afraid of getting your heart broken, so you do everything in your power to make sure that doesn’t happen. You’re afraid of something happening to Alexa so you’re going to sit here and wait until something does. She doesn’t have that much family, Brian. She doesn’t have that many people looking out for her. What happens when something does happen to her? How are you going to feel then? Or how about when she walks out safely and realizes that you were never there, that you never cared enough to at least TRY. What then?”

Brian clenched his jaw and stood to face AJ. “Alexa and I aren’t together anymore! Why can’t you get that through your skull? We aren’t together. We never really were together! It’s not my responsibility to try to save her! I’m not Superman! I’m not even Clark Kent!”

AJ shook his head and picked up the duffel bag that he had brought inside with him the night before. “I don’t have anything else to say to you. The woman that you love is missing. Someone that she was with that night was killed and you want to pretend like everything is okay. Fine. Do whatever you want. Stay here, Sulk. Die of some random STD. Whatever. I don’t want to hear a single word about it when you realize the gigantic mistake that you’ve made.” Without giving Brian the opportunity to respond, AJ turned and walked out the front door. Silent tears began to pour down AJ’s cheeks as he made his way down the driveway toward his rental car. He cried for Alexa and he cried for Brian. He had to believe that his friend just needed some time to absorb the events that were surrounding him. Brian couldn’t really be this cold. Somewhere inside, Brian was still the man that AJ admired; only AJ now knew that nothing he could say was going to help Brian realize that. Brian was going to have to stop being so scared and come to that conclusion on his own.

---------

Hours after first being attacked, Alexa opened her eyes slowly. Her head was pounding achingly with every beat of her heart. As she looked around the room, her vision was blurred. It was almost as if she was looking through water. She attempted to reach down to wipe her blurred eyes, but her arms were tied behind her. Panic began to set in. What happened, She thought to herself. Where am I?

She blinked her eyes repeatedly, attempting to make her surroundings clear. With each blink of her eyes, her focus improved slightly.

With the limited concentration that she could muster, Alexa scanned the room. It was dank, dirty, cold. It looked like she was trapped in a basement. There was a musty smell permeating the room. Alexa strained to remember the events that had befallen her the night before. She was at a party. She walked out with a friend, someone she didn’t know very well. What was his name? Chris? Carter? Colin? Colin. She walked outside with Colin. They were saying goodnight. She turned around and saw a face. Whose face did she see? Brian? No, of course not. Ben. It was Ben. Ben did this to her. Ben. Ben? Seriously?

Alexa began to wiggle violently on the bed. She had never thought of Ben as being a violent man, but he had proven her wrong in so many ways. Though she’d never seen him act on his rage, she knew that he was capable of so much. Alexa stopped moving when she heard someone laughing from behind her. She closed her eyes, but it was too late. Ben was approaching.

He clomped down the stairs heavily. There was computer equipment in his arms. He laid the equipment down on an old wooden table across from Alexa was lying. On top of the silver laptop computer, Ben placed a black gun. “For a while there, I thought that you were going to die before I was ready. That would have just ruined my entire plan.”

“What are you doing?” Alexa replied, shakily. “Why am I here?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Ben exclaimed. His mood had quickly changed for slightly jovial to angry. “You ruined me and now I’m going to ruin you.” Ben picked the gun up, turned it on Alexa, and then dropped the gun to his side and laughed. “But not yet.”

Alexa swallowed hard, trying to muster the courage to get out of this situation. This was Ben. She had dealt with Ben for years. “I don’t think that you’re really going to shoot me. So, what’s your real plan?”

Ben shot Alexa a cold look. “Why don’t you think that I’ll shoot you? I already killed one person? Why not make it two?”

He had killed one person. What does that mean? Alexa shrugged the best that she could in the position that she was in. “If you were going to shoot me, you would have done it already. Why leave me down here tied up? There’s no one around. No one knows where you are. But you do know that my brother-in-law is a State Representative in Washington, right? You do know that he’s going to do everything in his power to save me?”

Ben laughed. “He can do whatever he wants, but they’re never going to catch me. I’m not going to jail.”

Alexa licked her lips slowly. She cringed at the taste of blood. “What makes you so sure?”

“It’s all a part of the plan.” Ben said simply, and then walked over to the computer equipment. He had a small web camera and a laptop computer pointed directly at the spot where she was lying on the floor.

Alexa tried desperately to clear her mind of all of the numerous terrible things that he could do to her. “Ben. It’s me. Why are you doing this?”

Ben shot another cold look at Alexa and then smiled to himself. “You got me fired, Alexa. You ruined my life. I don’t have anything left to live for. I’m going to hell and I’m taking you with me.”

Alexa shook her head slowly. She didn’t know what he was talking about. “I just did what you asked me to do. You gave Brian the pictures. What did you think was going to happen? Did you think that he was going to walk away and forget that you hired me?”

“You were never supposed to fall in love with him!” Ben exclaimed. “He was never supposed to fall in love with you! He was just supposed to make me money. That’s it. He was supposed to make Jive money. That’s it. Just money.”

“So, you’re going to kill me because you lost some money?” Alexa replied softly. “Ben, you have enough money in the bank to feed a small country. You have more than enough to live on. What are you doing this for? Just let me go.”

“No.” Ben replied, shaking his head. He turned back to the computer. “We’re going to hell together, Alexa. You’re just going to get there a little bit slower than I am.”

-------

Brian hadn’t moved from his place on the couch since AJ had left that morning. The truth was, he was scared to death. There was a note that was left, though none of the news anchors would release the information about what the note said. There were no leads in the case. No suspicions. The police were at a dead end until the forensics team came back with the report on any DNA or fingerprints that had been left on the letter.

The news channels were all showing a picture of a friend of Alexa’s. His name was Colin Michaels. He had died trying to defend Alexa. Brian couldn’t help but to be a little bit jealous. He had died trying to save Alexa, but Brian was too afraid of the police finding Alexa dead that he didn’t want to be anywhere near the crime scene. If he was tucked away in Georgia, he wouldn’t have to believe that it was real.

The news stations kept showing the same picture. He was actually in the picture as well, though his face was blurred out. The picture was a close-up shot of the two of them that was taking during their last day together in New York. The wind was blowing her hair back as she and Brian leaned in and Brian snapped the picture. Later on that night, they had gotten the pictures developed at a drug store near their hotel. It would only be a matter of time until the news stations realized who he was and began showing his face in the picture as well. Brian had the same photograph lying in his bedside table drawer. The news used it because it was the most recent picture that they had of her face. Brian kept it close because it was the last time that they were happy.

Brian pulled himself up off of the couch and walked up the stairs to his bedroom. He sat down on the edge of his bed and opened the drawer that held the picture. He pulled the picture out and ran his fingers over the smooth glossy finish. Back inside the drawer, a folded piece of paper caught his eye. It was the letter that Alexa had written to him before she left the hotel room the day that they had broken up. Brian set the photograph down and picked up the tattered piece of folded paper.

He unfolded it slowly and finally, began reading.

Dear Brian,

There are so many ways for me to tell you how sorry that I am for hurting you. None of those phrases, nothing that I could say could truly illustrate how badly I feel. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for this--for us--to happen the way that it did. As far as having you in my life is concerned, that is one thing that I will never be sorry for.

You have meant so much to me over the past six months. You’ve become more than a lover, you’ve become my family. I have never imagined feeling the way about someone that I feel about you. I’ve always had romantic dreams, but even the wildest shrink in comparison to how you’ve made me feel.

There are a lot of things that you can question when it comes to our relationship. There are a lot of things that you will question, but I beg that you believe me when I tell you that I never set out to deceive you. I never moved into that house wanting to betray your trust. I never imagined that we’d become have we have. Never did I think that someone as volatile as Ben Silverman would ever send me to my soul mate. If there is anything that you never have to question, that is how I feel about you. You’re my everything.

I understand that you’re hurting and I understand that at this very moment you probably don’t care if I live or die, but I hope that someday you’ll be able to remember the good things when you think of me. Please know that if and when you’re ready to ever move on from the position that we’ve found ourselves in now, I’ll be waiting. Let’s get to know each other again.

I’ll start.

Hi, I’m Aly.

Now, it’s your turn.

With all of my love always,

Alexa

Brian dropped the letter to the ground. Tears began to pour out of his eyelids. He loved her so much and now, she was in so much trouble. There was no telling where she was or who she was with. Someone could have kidnapped her for a number of reasons both financially and politically fueled. Brian sobbed over the irony of one of her closing statements. I understand that at this very moment you don’t care if I live or die. The words echoed in his head.

“You have to live, Aly.” Brian whispered to himself. “You have to live. I can’t go on knowing that you’re not out there breathing. Fight, Aly. Fight.”

Brian knew that there was no one there to hear his pleas, but he was praying his hardest and hoping that God would hear him just this one time. Brian threw the letter down onto the bed and ran into his closet. He didn’t know why he was still sitting there. He may not be of any help, but he sure as hell couldn’t sit around in Georgia waiting for someone to pull the trigger. He had to be there when they brought her home. He had to make sure that they brought her home at all.