Ashley lay in bed the next morning too afraid to open her eyes. She didn’t want to come to terms with the reality of last night. She curled up in the fetal position pulling the sheet that was covering her body closer. Listening for a moment she cold tell that no one was in the room with her. She slowly opened her eyes, praying it was a bad dream, but knowing it wasn’t.
Sitting up in bed she could hear noises coming from downstairs. Taking in her surroundings she was relieved to see the empty condom wrapper on the floor.
‘At least he had the decency to use protection.’ she thought to herself. She saw Adam had left her out some clothes and she quickly pulled on the oversized shorts and t-shirt. She timidly made her way down stairs knowing she would have to face him sooner or later.
“Finally up?” Adam smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen. He pulled her into a hug, her body tensing up at his touch. She could barely restrain herself from throwing up when he leaned in and kissed her. “I had a lot of fun yesterday.”
Ashley just nodded a little and tried to get free of his grasp, still not saying a word.
“You were so good last night baby.” He continued as he began kissing her neck. Ashley bit her lip, trying hard to hold back her tears. When she felt his hands sliding up under her shirt she couldn’t take it anymore. She quickly pushed him away and ran towards the nearest room. Slamming the door shut she leaned up against it slowly sliding down to the floor as she let her tears flow freely. She pulled her knees close to her chest, tears not letting up as she heard Adam knocking on the door.
“Babe are you ok?” he asked as he knocked twisting the doorknob. Ashley quickly reached up, locking the door before he could come in.
“I’m fine, just feeling sick.” She lied through her tears. “Just a little hangover.”
“Let me in babe.” He said jiggling the knob a little.
“I’m fine really. I’ll be right out, just give me a minute.” She tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke.
She heard his footsteps getting farther away and sighed wiping her eyes as she continued to cry. She didn’t know what to do. She had no one to turn to, no one knew about where she was or who was with this weekend and telling someone would only make matters worse. She got up and stared at her tear stained face in the mirror. How did she ever let it come to this?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“My man!” Damien said as AJ opened the door.
“Surprised to see you this early.” AJ laughed letting him inside.
“Nothing’s keeping me down anymore, you know how it is. I’m feeling good these days.”
The two men made their way into the living room taking a seat on the couch.
“How long you been sober now?” AJ asked.
“Just about eight months. I’m just now getting back to work though. It’s tough to get back out into that scene but I gotta make money somehow.” He sighed.
“Just stay strong, you can do it.” AJ reassured him. “So how did last night go?”
“The crowd was crazy, it was pretty intense. It felt great to get back out there though.”
“I’m sure it did. I remember my first show after I got out of rehab. That rush was better then any high I could ever imagine.” AJ smiled. “Who all was there?”
“Same old crew. Steph, Dani, Cara, Todd, JJ and Adam.”
AJ rolled his eyes at the mention of the name. He and Adam hadn’t been on good terms since he got out of rehab. He was one of those who refused to admit he had a problem and constantly tried to get AJ back into his habits, until he finally cut him off.
“Adam was there with some crazy ass chick…Nikki I think. I’ve never seen her before but the chick was drowning in booze. She barely looked old enough to be in there, let alone drinking, but you know Adam.
“I don’t know how I ever used to hang with that guy. He’s pure scum.”
“He hasn’t got any better either. Be happy you avoided that place last night. As good as the money is I don’t think I ever wanna spin there again. The people have gotten worse, if you can believe that.” Damien told him.
“Well that was where we all went when we were completely strung out, you can’t expect anything else. I went in there once since I got out of rehab and just looking around it I couldn’t believe I ever went there, I can only imagine how bad it’s got since then.”
Damien went to speak as the phone began to ring.
“Hold that thought.” AJ said quickly as he got up to answer the phone. “Gimme a minute, this is my manager about a meeting.”
He hurried to his office to retrieve the phone, leaving Damien in the living room. Knowing AJ would be a few minutes he took the opportunity to look over some of the pictures and statues he had scattered around his bookcase and tables. His eyes grew wide as he spotted an all too familiar face. Embraced in a hug with AJ was none other then Nikki, Adams girl from the club last night.
“Hey sorry about that man.” AJ walked back into the room and spotted the troubled look on Damien’s face. “What’s wrong?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ashley sighed in relief as the car finally pulled up outside of Jared’s house. The car ride had gone by fairly quick but to Ashley it felt like a million years. She needed to get away from Adam she couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Each time he smiled over at her she wanted to scream. He acted as if he had done nothing wrong, as if what he had done to her last night was wanted. As she tried to exit the car Adam grabbed her arm pulling her back in.
“I don’t get a good bye?” he smirked and leaned in for a kiss. Ashley turned her cheek before his lips could reach hers. “What’s wrong?”
“I told you I’m just not feeling good…it’s nothing.” She lied and tried to get out of the car again.
“When can I see you again?” he pushed some hair behind her ear.
‘Never’ her mind wanted to scream. “I’m not sure.” She said timidly.
“Well call me, I want us to spend more time together.” He grinned. That grin made Ashley cringe. How could she not see through him before? She should have just listened to Angel.
“I have to get home.” She said and quickly got out of the car before he could stop her again. As he drove off Ashley took a deep breath, glad to finally be rid of him, at least for now.
She walked into the backyard, knowing that Jared would be by the pool. She planted a fake smile on her face as she approached him.
“How nice of you to finally come back.” Jared rolled his eyes from his chair, floating in the pool.
Ashley just shrugged taking a seat along the edge, dipping her feat in the water.
“Hope it was worth getting your best friend pissed at you.”
“What are you talking about?” she raised a brow.
“Angel called.” He informed her.
“Did you tell her where I was?” Ashley bit her lip nervously.
“She kind of figured it out on her own when I said you were on a date. Why didn’t you tell me the truth about this guy?” Jared said as he got out of the pool.
“I didn’t think there was much to tell.” Ashley lied wishing she could just drop all conversation about him.
“How’s about that he’s 22 for starters. What were you thinking?”
“Apparently I wasn’t.” she mumbled and got up walking into the house. She grabbed the clothes she had left and quickly changed.
Jared sighed and followed her back inside. “Look, it’s not that age is really that important, but it’s the other stuff Angel told me that worries me. If you knew all this about him then why would you still go on a date with him.”
“I thought he was a nice guy.” She said walking back out of the bathroom.
“Thought?” Jared looked at her with concern.
“Can you just bring me home? I had a long night and I’m tired.”
“You have to give me about fifteen minutes. My mom’s gonna be home soon and I promised her I’d have the laundry done when she got back.” Jared said as he grabbed the last few pieces of clothes stranded on his floor. “You can hang out here or help me.”
Ashley laughed a little as Jared rolled her eyes. “That’s what I thought.”
Once Jared was out of the room Ashley picked up her phone to call Angel. She needed to talk to someone and she knew Jared wouldn’t understand. She was just hoping that Angel would listen to her.
“What do you want?” Angel said picking up the phone angrily.
“I need to talk to you.”
“What for?”
“Angel I…” she struggled to find the right words.
“You completely went against your word and went out with that jerk?” Angel finished her sentence.
“Yea…I was going to tell you, I just…”
“Look, do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore. Call me when you get a clue.” Angel cut her off.
“Angel wait!” Ashley yelled but it was too late, her best friend had now too given up on her. She had never felt so alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As they pulled up to Ashley’s house she was relieved to see no car in the driveway. She would at least have some time to herself to think before Denise came home.
She said goodbye to Jared and made her way inside. As she passed the living room she jumped not expecting to see someone there.
“Alex. What are you doing here?” she looked at him questionably.
“I came by to see how everything was going.” He got up from the couch and made his way over to her trying to examine her without notice.
“Well I don’t know where mom is, I wasn’t home.” She said and attempted to make her way to her room.
“I haven’t talked to you in almost two months and you don’t even want to sit in here for a few minutes with me?”
“Last time I checked you stopped talking to me. I tried to call you.” She rolled her eyes.
“Well, let’s talk now.” He pointed towards the couch. Ashley sighed and walked over to the couch taking a seat. “So how was your weekend?”
“Fine.” She leaned back knowing he would make this conversation longer then it needed to be.
“Oh before I forget, there’s someone here I want you to meet.” He stood back up and walked towards the kitchen.
“Yo, D can you come in here?” he called out.
‘D?’ Ashley’s heart began to beat faster, ‘it couldn’t be…SHIT!’ Ashley’s mind raced as she recognized the man who joined AJ in the doorway.
AJ smirked at the shocked expression on Ashley’s face.
“Weren’t expecting to see him so soon were you Ashley…or should I say Nikki?” AJ crossed his arms and glared down his younger sister.
Ashley was speechless, she had no clue what to do or say. She was busted and there was no way to talk her way out of this one.
“Should I even ask what you’re doing out in LA last night?” he finally spoke up.
“Alex, I really don’t want to talk about this…let’s just race to the end where you tell mom and I get grounded for the rest of my life ok?”
“I have to hear from my friend that my 15 year old sister was out partying and drunk off her ass at some club on Sunset and you expect me not to ask any questions? Are you really serious?” he didn’t bother hiding his anger in front of his friend. He was fed up with her stupidity and she had to know it.
Ashley rolled her eyes immediately reverting to her usual attitude.
“Does mom know where you were last night?” he asked knowing the obvious answer.
“What do you think?” Ashley retorted.
“So where does she think you were?”
“With my friend Jared…I told her I was staying at his house.” She wished he would just let her go to her room and let Denise handle things but she knew it was wishful thinking.
“And where exactly did you end up staying?”
“I told you I don’t feel like talking about this right now Alex.”
“Well too bad Ashley.” He yelled fighting the urge to smack the attitude right out of her. “Where were you last night?”
“I was at Club X…obviously you know that.” she saw the look on his face.
“The fact alone that they would let a 15 year old in should tell you that it’s not the best place to be Ashley. I’m sure you don’t know half the crap that goes on in there.”
“I’m not a baby Alex. I know what goes on.”
“Yet you still went there. That scares me even more.” He sighed. “Should I even ask what you were thinking?”
She didn’t answer.
“Ash, look. I know you think you’re not a little kid but you’re still naïve. How’d you even get in there in the first place?”
“I was on a date with this guy Adam…he goes there a lot I guess.”
“You went there with Adam?” she immediately regretted her statement but nodded any way. “I thought maybe you just met him there but you actually were out with that guy. How did you meet him?”
“Why does that matter?” she rolled her eyes at his constant questioning.
“How did you meet him?” he asked again, his voice growing louder by the minute.
“Do we really have to talk about this? Like I said it doesn’t matter anymore.” She was beginning to get aggravated with him.
“Obviously you don’t want me to know for a reason.”
“Aaron had some people over a few weeks ago and I met him there. I was having a bad day and we just started talking and I don’t know, he just seemed like a really nice guy.” Ashley tried not to let her sadness show through, thinking back to that night and how different things would have been if she had just listened to Angel.
“Ashley are you serious? What the hell do you see in that guy? For one he is in his 20’s. What the hell was he doing going out with a 15 year old?” he said angrily.
“Maybe I liked him cuz’ he’s the only one who doesn’t treat me like I’m 5.” She retorted.
“Ashley, that guy is scum. Do you even know half the shit he’s into?”
“I do now.” She mumbled.
“What happened last night?” AJ asked. He could tell by the look on her face it wasn’t good.
“Alex, it’s no big deal. It’s done and over with now ok. Let’s just forget about it and I’ll deal with things when mom gets home.” She tried to fight back the tears reliving the night’s events. AJ took notice and became worried.
“Ash did he do something to you? I’ll fricken kill him if he touched you.” His anger was now fading into concern, knowing that Adam was not the kind of guy to get involved with.
“No. It’s nothing.” She quickly lied, hoping he would believe her. “He’s just not who I thought he was, ok? Can we drop it, please?”
“No Ashley we can’t. You’re obviously upset about something and you know the therapists always say bottling things up isn’t good.”
“Screw therapy, Alex. I haven’t gone in like almost three years and therapy has nothing to do with this.” She hated when he brought up her therapist.
“Can you please just tell me what happened? I hate that you keep stuff from me. You used to tell me everything.” She could hear he was upset.
“Nothing happened!” she yelled and got up from the couch, finally having enough of him. Each time he asked her she just kept flashing back to Adam’s assault on her. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and stormed off to her room, slamming the door.
“I don’t know what you think but someone is hiding something.” AJ plopped back down on the couch rubbing his temples from stress. He knew Denise was going to be hurt and upset to find out that Ashley had lied to her again, but he knew there was more to the story that Ashley wasn’t telling.
“I’d rather stay neutral on this one. All I know is Adam was pretty set on the idea that she wanted him.” Damien knew AJ would be mad if he knew everything that Adam said last night, and knowing him he got what he was after. “She was upset about something though…you just have to find out what happened after they left the club.”
AJ took a deep breath letting it out slowly as he heard the front door open. He knew everything was about to hit the fan and he felt bad that he had brought Damien into the middle of it.
“Alex!” Denise said excitedly as she saw her son sitting in the living room. “I wasn’t expecting you, have you been here long?”
“Just about an hour.” He smiled and hugged his mother. “This is my friend Damien, we just stopped by to see Ashley.”
“Oh?” Denise looked at him questionably, knowing it had been a while since they had spoken. “Is she home yet?”
“Yea.” AJ’s eyes darted away from her and she picked up on his apprehension immediately.
“What do you know that I don’t?” Denise asked studying her son’s face.
“You might want to ask Ashley where she was last night.” AJ said trying to break everything to her slowly.
“What are you talking about?”
“See Damien was out at a club last night and met a girl who was with an old friend of ours. He didn’t know who she was until he stopped by the house earlier today and happened to see a picture of me and Ashley.” He began but Denise had already put two and two together.
“Ashley Nicole, you get out here right this instant!” Denise yelled.
A moment later Ashley emerged from her room. Her tear streaked face and puffy eyes were a good indication that she had been crying since she came home. She quickly wiped her eyes as she approached everyone again.
“What do you have to say for yourself young lady?” Denise crossed her arms, staring at her in anger. Ashley didn’t answer, she just stared down at the floor, biting her lip nervously. “After I put so much faith in you, you have the nerve to go behind my back and do something as stupid as this?”
“I’m sorry…” she said quietly.
“You should be sorry.” Denise shook her head. “I want details…where were you last night?”
Ashley took a deep breath before she began. “I was just going out on a date with this guy Adam and I was going to go back to Jared’s house, but then he asked if I wanted to go to a party with him and not to worry because he could get it me. I hadn’t been anywhere in a while so I said ok and he took me to a club.” She looked up at Denise whose eyes shone a mixture of anger and disappointment.
“Why did you lie to me in the first place about the date? It’s not like I don’t let you go out.”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t let me go out with this guy.”
“He’s 22.” AJ interjected.
“If you knew that I would say no to that why would you do it then? Don’t you think that me saying no would be for a reason? Ashley did you ever stop to ask yourself what a 22 year old man would want with a 15 year old girl?”
Ashley just shrugged knowing it better not to answer and dig her self a bigger ditch.
“Ashley you need to seriously start putting that brain of yours to use because for someone so smart you have been acting very stupid.” Denise said bluntly. “Would you be doing this if your mother were here?”
Ashley shook her head and Denise sighed.
“So what makes me so different? Do you think it doesn’t hurt me when you lie to me or when you go behind my back and do things? I’m trying to look out for you and do the best that I can but you sure make it difficult to want to keep on trying.”
Ashley wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes. Was everyone just giving up on her now?
“I can’t even talk to you right now.” Denise shook her head in anger “Go to your room and I’ll decide what to do with you later.”
“I really am sorry.” Ashley said softly, her eyes watering over once more.
“I am too.” Denise sighed as Ashley walked off.
Denise took a seat on the couch, AJ following. After a moment of silence she broke down into tears. AJ pulled her into a tight but comforting hug.
“Alex I don’t know what to do with her anymore. Nothing I try works. I can’t keep her locked up behind bars, but I can’t trust her to do anything on her own. Every time I give her the benefit of the doubt she goes behind my back and does something stupid.” Denise tried hard to fight back the tears. “I feel like I’m letting her mother down.”
“Mom, you’re doing everything you can to keep her on the right track. You can’t blame yourself for wanting to believe she’s a good kid.”
“But that’s just it Alex, she is a good kid. She’s a straight A student, she works hard at the academy and she usually isn’t going out running crazy like this. She just doesn’t know how to make good decisions.” Denise tried to calm her nerves, taking a deep breath. “Maybe moving out here was a bad idea.”
“Mom she was doing stupid stuff like this back at home too. You can’t blame yourself for her stupidity. She’s old enough now to know what isn’t a good decision. Obviously she knows the difference if she’s choosing to lie to you, she just doesn’t know how to say no to the bad ones.”
“I just wish I could get through to her and make her see that she’s better then all of this. I can ground her all I want, but if she doesn’t learn anything in the process what’s the point?”
“All you can keep doing is trying and hope and pray that she wakes up and realizes what she’s doing to herself and to you.” AJ wiped the tears from his mother’s eyes. He hated to see her this upset. “Like you said she’s a smart girl who is choosing to act stupid.”
“I just don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“You’re strong mom, you can help her and I’ll be there for you when you need me.”
“I need to go lay down, this whole mess is giving me a migrane. Would you mind staying here a while? Just keep and eye on her please.”
“No problem mom, take as long as you need.” He kissed her forehead as she got up and made her way to her room.
AJ turned back to his friend. “I know it’s asking a lot, but I need you to find out what happened after they left the club last night. Something is not right and I need to know.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ashley lay in her bed unable to sleep. She had so much running through her mind. The past two days had brought her to hell and back and she was certain that things wouldn’t get better. Angel still refused to talk to her and Jared was still upset that she lied to him.
She knew that she had let down Denise and lost all trust that she had built up with her. She didn’t know what made her be so stupid but she was regretting it big time. In a matter of two days she had hurt everyone who was important to her and she knew mending those relationships would be a challenge.
Finally giving up on sleep she got up and made her way to her window seat, grabbing her guitar on the way. Music was the only thing that hadn’t let her down and the only friend she had to turn to. She began strumming at the guitar letting herself become lost in the melody. After a while she began singing along, the words just coming to her flawlessly.
“When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them. When you're fifteen and the first kiss makes you head spin 'round. But in this life there are things greater then dating a guy who seems like a dream. How could I know it at fifteen?
When all you wanted was to be wanted. Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now…
Yesterday I thought Prince Charming had come my way, but then I realized he had other plans in mind and I gave everything good I had left to a boy who lost his mind. Now all I can do is cry.
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them. And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall…I know time can heal most anything, and I just might learn who I’m supposed to be…
I don’t know who I’m supposed to be…At fifteen”
She placed her guitar down and wiped the tears from her eyes. Pulling her knees to her chest she stared out the window wishing she could just rewind time and start all over again.
Author's Chapter Notes:
longest chapter in a while...let me know what your reactions are :-) hopefully I can write more soon.
Chapter End Notes:
Song was Taylor Swift's Fifteen but I changed some words around to make it fit the story better
