[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
A bright light shining in her eyes woke Ashley up the next morning. She looked around realizing where she was. A nurse smiled at her as she walked away from the window and towards the machines connected to Ashley.

"Good morning sweet heart. How are you feeling?" she asked while she checked her IV.

"Where's Alex?" Ashley asked looking around the room.

"A nurse took him to get some coffee. Poor guy didn't sleep a wink last night." she filled some papers out and placed her chart back in the holder.

"Can I go home today?" she asked timidly.

"I'm not sure sweetie, that's up to the doctor. But your vitals have been stable all night, which is good. A doctor will be in soon to talk to you." she smiled at her as she left.

No more then a few minutes later AJ came walking back in.

"Hey kiddo, you're up." he smiled kissing her head. "How you feeling?"

"Okay I guess. I wanna go home though." she frowned trying to fight back tears.

"Well I know they wanted you to talk to the hospital counselor today. I'm sure you can go home after that. But if they want you to stay I'll get you moved to the pediatric ward so I can stay with you okay?"

She just nodded and wiped the tears out of her eyes as someone knocked on the door.

"Good morning, Miss McLean." a chipper voice came from the blonde doctor in the doorway. She was a different doctor from the night before.

"I'm Dr. Davis. How are you feeling this morning?" she frowned reading over her chart.

"I'm okay." she smiled a little."Can I go home today?"

"We'll were going to have out counselor come speak to you. She's going to assess weather or not you're a suicide risk."

The word suicide made AJ cringe. He didn't want to face the reality of what Ashley had tried to do and neither did she.

"We'll take it from there." the doctor smiled at her a little.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." Ashley mumbled tears rolling down her cheeks. She was just now realizing the severity of her actions and she regretted it.

"It's ok sweetie." The doctor tried to comfort her. "The counselor is a very nice woman. Just talk to her and we'll work everything out. Okay?"

Ashley nodded and wiped her eyes.

"The counselor will be coming in soon. You can come back around noon.” she informed AJ before leaving the room.

"Will you be okay here by yourself for a little?" AJ asked, Ashley again just nodded."Kiddo, everything will be okay I promise."

He kissed the top of her head. She smiled at him weakly.

"I'll go pick up my mom and we'll come back here for noon, sound good?" he squeezed her hand for some reassurance.

"Alex." she looked up at him her eyes filled with tears once more. "I'm really sorry about all of this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no one."

"Kiddo, that's not true. You have me and you have my mom, and Kevin and Brian and the rest of the guys. You know they all love you. I promise you that we'll help you get threw this ok sweetie?" he wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes as she nodded and smiled a reassuring smile.

He hugged her tightly before heading from the room. No more then five minutes after AJ's departure there was a knock on the door. Ashley opened her eyes to see an older woman smiling at her.

"Hi, Ashley." she said as she entered the room."I'm Dr. Kelley, the counselor." she stuck out her hand and Ashley shook it giving her a weak smile. "How are you doing today, sweet heart?" she took a seat in the chair by the bed.

"Okay." she said timidly.

"Well, I'm sure you know what I'm here to talk about, but I want to reassure you that we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."

"Okay."

"So why don't you tell me a little about yourself. What grade are you in, where do you go to school, what do you like to do, things like that."

"Umm." Ashley thought for a second."Well I go to Celebration Middle school and I'm going into 7th grade this year. I like to dance and sing and act and play basketball." she smiled.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Ashley shook her head no.

"I have Alex, but he's my cousin."

"Are the two of you close?"

Ashley smiled and nodded yes. "He's my best friend."

"That's great. What about school, do you like it? Do you have a lot of friends?"

Ashley frowned a little. "I like school sometimes."

She didn't answer the second question and the doctor jotted down some notes on her clipboard.

"And friends, what about them?" the doctor asked again. She could see it wasn't one Ashley really wanted to answer but went at it again.

"Umm I have a few friends."she trailed off a little then spoke back up. "Most people want to be my friend because of Alex."

"Why is that?" the doctor hadn't been informed of who she was.

"He's a Backstreet Boy." she smiled proudly at her cousin’s accomplishment.

"Oh wow. That must be exciting."

"Yea. But it's bad sometimes." she smiled half heartedly.

"Why is it bad?"

"Cuz' Alex is gone a lot more now. I miss him."

"Do you talk to him about that?" Ashley shook her head no.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to make him sad. I know that he's happy and I'm happy for him. I just wish we could spend more time together like we used to."

"I think this is something that you should talk to Alex about. From what you've told me you two seem to have a close relationship I'm sure he'd understand. It's not good to keep your emotions bottled up." Ashley nodded in agreement.

"So would you say you are generally a happy person?" the doctor asked.

Ashley thought for a second. "Yes."

"Can we talk a little about this past week? I know it's a tough subject but I think talking will help you a little. Why don't you tell me what's been going on."

"Umm well Alex was home for a little. My mom went on a business trip to California and I was happy cuz' I was gonna get to stay home with Alex all week. He's been on tour so I haven't seen him that much. Usually when my mom goes away I have to stay at Aunt Denise’s.”

"So what did you and Alex do the whole week?" Dr. Kelley didn't want to jump right into the big issue; she wanted to give Ashley time to warm up to it.

"We had a lot of fun." Ashley smiled form ear to ear for the first time since the accident. "He took me to Disney and we stayed up late playing games and we went swimming. It was the best week ever." her smiled turned to a frown and she began to choke back tears.

"Then what happened?" she asked.

"The day she was supposed to come home we were getting ready to go to the airport and the hospital called." She wiped the tears that began to fall down her cheeks. "I never got to say goodbye to her." she quickly wiped the tears away.

"It's okay to cry Ashley. You've been through something incredibly hard." the doctor reassured her.

"I don't know what to do, I don't have anyone anymore." she cried harder then she had in a while.

"Why do you feel that way? I know you have family who cares very much for you."

"But they’re not my mom. It was always me and her. All we had was each other, except for my aunt Denise and Alex. Things were just starting to get better." She mumbled.

"You still have them. I'm sure they care about you very much."

"It's not the same!" Ashley yelled, not meaning for it to come out so loud.

"Ok I understand. Why don’t we talk a little about what happened last night?" the doctor knew she was breaking through to her.

Ashley froze up. She had no explanation or real reasoning as to why she did what she did. The truth is she wasn't thinking. She hadn't thought about the real consequences of her actions. Dr. Kelley sensed her apprehension and decided to take a step back.

“Ok we’ll take it slower. What do you mean by things were just starting to get better?” the doctor questioned.

Ashley took a deep breath letting it out slowly.

“Last year was bad. We lived in a bad house and my mom lost her job. We couldn’t pay for our house anymore. But Alex said we could live at his house while he was away. I got to go to a better school and my mom got a new job and she was saving up so we could buy a house of our own. Everything was getting better.”

"How's about we talk about how you were feeling yesterday."

"Sad...angry...alone." Ashley trailed off wiping away tears once more.

“I can understand why you would feel that way.” She reassured her.

“Everyone kept telling me it would be okay, but they don’t know that. No one knows what I’m going threw and I hate that they tell me they understand.”

Dr. Kelley was glad that Ashley was being open with her. She decided to try her again.

“So what was going threw your mind last night?”

“I wish I knew.” Ashley sighed wiping the tears from her eyes. “I didn’t mean to do it.”

“But you did,” The doctor reminded her. “And although you may not fully realize why you did there has to be a reason so let’s try to figure it out together.”

They spoke for a little longer trying to work out what was going threw Ashley’s head. Dr. Kelley felt that they had made some great progress in a short period of time. She was glad that Ashley was open and willing to accept help.

She suggested that they begin meeting at least once a week and made Ashley promise that she wouldn’t bottle up her emotions anymore. For Ashley that was easier said then done, but she agreed to try. Dr. Kelley agreed to let her go home later that day and Ashley was glad about that.