Chapter Twelve: Revelations
"Daddy?" She mouthed almost unable to comprehend what she had just witnessed in front of her. This new revelation was certainly something she didn't expect.
Nick looked at her still trying to find a way to word this news to her. "This is my daughter, Joanna..." He said just as Livie pushed her way through on the other side of him. Marie smiled and looked at him expectantly and picked Livie up putting her on his hip. "And this is my youngest...Livie." He added studying her expression.
Realization dawned on her suddenly, the phone calls weren't from other women but were in fact his own children calling to check up on him. "Oh...Joanna and Livie...makes complete sense now..." She marveled mustering a smile for the girls. She looked at them they were truly beautiful, Joanna was up to Nick's mid-thigh and looked about kindergarten age and then Livie was about half a foot shorter and looked mischievously adorable. "Girls this is my friend Marie...she's staying at Aunt Angel's until she comes home from Spain."
"Would you like to come in?" Jo asked with a warm smile trying her best to be completely polite to the strange pretty lady that showed up on her door step. Nick grinned at her proud of how her good manners were showing through. It was something that he prided himself in, teaching the girls to be proper and polite. Marie smiled at her and glanced at Nick who stepped aside letting her in. She came inside the house seeing the white walls and comfortable furniture in the living room just past the foyer.
She watched the girls run over to the couch jumping on it a little and saw the big Christmas tree in the corner, the blinking lights and the mound of presents underneath it. "Shoes off!" Livie commanded making Nick cringe and Marie laugh a little. So much for manners...he thought to himself.
"Sorry it's kind of a rule for them." Nick apologized making Marie smile at him and slip off her shoes leaving them by the door. "And could you stop being so bossy Liv? That's not how we treat guests is it?" He said giving her a sideways glance trying to hold back the smile that threatened to break his mouth.
Livie smiled sweetly and apologized then turned to Marie who was still holding her bag in front of her. "Is that for us?" Livie asked as she bounced off the couch and jumped over to Marie.
Marie smiled and crouched down to her level. "As a matter of fact yes, I brought over all the fixings to make some dinner...did you already eat?" She asked looking up to Nick who shook his head ‘no'. She turned back to Livie and grinned as she looked through the bag. "Do you like pasta?"
"Yeah!" Livie replied with a wide grin her blue eyes sparkling in the low light of the room. Out of the two girls Livie most certainly looked the most like her father. She had blonde wavy hair and big bright blue eyes, his smile and she guessed his goofy personality. This entire thing was shocking her to no end. But as much as it shocked her, she wanted to know why Nick had kept this from her and why he hadn't trusted her enough to handle this knowledge. She figured that it was because they didn't know each other for very long but still she figured it might be something he should have shared before they had gotten as far as they did.
"Girls why don't you take the bag into the kitchen and take everything out to get started, and Marie and I will be in there to help in just a moment." He said as they girls hauled the heavy cloth bag into the kitchen talking amongst themselves as they went. Nick turned to Marie giving her a nervous glance.
"Are you married?" She asked the first and most obvious question falling from her lips. She spied his left hand, noticing no ring was indeed present, so maybe he wasn't married, but he had to have been at one point right? Or maybe it was one of those type of things where he'd been with someone and had never gotten married.
Nick sighed figuring it all needed to get in the open now but he wanted to let her ask all the questions and give her all the history to which he should have explained long before now. "I was...." He said honestly awaiting her next question.
She glanced to the walk way towards the kitchen and sighed, "So you're divorced then?" She asked wondering if she was still in his life, an active part of his daughters' existence. Maybe that's where they were this past week. He had spent so much time with her, and since he was a single father she wondered exactly who was taking care of his children while he spent so much time enjoying her company.
Nick looked around the room getting a dark look on his face for a moment and shook his head. "No, widower..." He said his voice low and gravelly, cracking slightly as he said the words. Marie's hand flew to her mouth as she took in a sharp breath taken aback by his words. "Two years ago..."
"Oh God...I..." She said shaking her head. "That's horrible...I didn't..."
"I know, it's ok and I feel really ashamed for not telling you sooner. It's just how was I going to approach the subject? I mean it's not something I really want to broadcast out to the world. I don't want pity at all. I'm not that type of guy who goes around telling women his sob stories to get them into bed. Even when I was a complete womanizer I never stooped that low." He explained and Marie nodded taking it all in.
She almost couldn't process it really. The man she was fast falling in love with was really a widowed father of two. It did make sense though, his sensitivity and sensibility about life was not that of just a normal straight bachelor. At least the normal single men she encountered weren't as kind or generous as he was and she figured it had a lot to do with the two little girls who were chattering away in the kitchen. "So that was the last relationship? Your marriage..." She asked realizing that if he'd been single for two years and celibate while he was going through the grieving process then the time they'd spent together intimately was a much bigger deal to him that she realized even at the time it occurred.
"Yeah...she was a good mom...and it took me this long to be okay with moving on with my life. She'd want me to be happy you know?"
"So, uh when we..." She paused her eyes widening slightly to emphasize wordlessly what she was trying to say. "That was the first since..."
"Since I became a single parent, yeah...and it was wonderful and you were..." He trailed off looking away as she interrupted him.
"But I still don't get why you couldn't just tell me? I mean it's a pretty important fact and I think I would have acted a little more responsibly if I had known that you had gone through what you have. I most certainly wouldn't have pushed for us to get physical so soon especially..."
He held his hand up and sighed, "No, please don't think that you pushed or made me do something I wasn't comfortable with. You're the first woman that has made me feel like a man again instead of the single working parent. All the blind dates I had before I met you drove me insane because they couldn't compare to what I lost and at the same time they most certainly couldn't handle the fact that I'm a package deal." He replied making her nod. "I know that you have a lot to process right now and if you want to leave it's okay I'll tell them something...but if you'd like to stay and hang out and make that dinner you talked about...then I think you might get some perspective on the situation." He added giving her a way out of the situation if she was indeed too freaked out to handle everything.
Marie sighed and looked at him and even though she had so much to process and think about really right now, in his presence, she didn't want to leave. "No I'd love to stay and make you dinner." She said taking a breath as he beamed at her taking her hand and leading her into the large kitchen in his home.
---
Marie giggled as Livie made the silliest faces from across the table. "Liv...quit messin' around." Nick chided laughing as well. "It's hard to be the disciplinarian with the comedian over there."
Marie sighed and stuck her tongue out at Livie making her giggle right back. "Well it's okay my sister and I were kind of like that too."
"You have a sister?" Jo asked looking up from her almost empty bowl of fettuccini alfredo.
"Yes a sister. Her name is Sarah. We're very close like you and Livie are. Although we weren't too close growing up, but as we got older we became almost like best friends too." She explained making Jo smile at her. "So what do you two do for fun?" She asked as she sat back in her chair and sighed full from dinner and truly enjoying the girls' company as well as Nick's. Nick stood smiling at the three women and cleared their plates taking them into the kitchen. He listened to their conversation marveling at how easily she fell into conversation with the girls and how she treated them with such respect. He placed his hands on the sink and smiled to himself closing his eyes. He definitely didn't want her to have found out this way but remarkably she seemed to be taking to the girls so well and he couldn't help but be hopeful that she would want to be a part of his life even after this startling revelation.
He walked back into the dining room seeing that they no longer were there and looked around the house finding them in the girls' playroom. Smiling at how the girls were being so open with her, showing her their sanctuary from the world. "There you are..." He said with a grin as he watched her sit on the small sofa and giggle as Jo brought her one of her favorite toys to see. "Do you girls want to watch It's A Wonderful Life? It is our Christmas Eve tradition and all." He said as the girls grinned. He led them back down to the living room the girls settling with pillows and blankets on the floor. Nick settled on the couch after setting up the dvd player and Marie sat next to him at a comfortable distance.
She didn't know how to react really. If this were a normal situation she probably would have preferred sitting with Nick his arms wrapped around her and curled up on the couch a content and intimate seating arrangement. But in this situation she wasn't sure of anything and was quite certain any physical contact between them might send the girls the wrong message and what if things didn't work out between them? The girls were now a huge factor in this situation and she couldn't really begin to fathom how to handle it all. She liked them that was for certain. They were spunky and wonderful and she definitely would like to bond with them of course but on what level? What if things between her and Nick got serious? She internally rolled her eyes at herself getting once again one too many steps ahead of herself.
As the movie progressed she felt Nick's hand reach hers on the couch and cover it. She looked over at him as he smiled at her simply. She sighed and all her thoughts seemed to melt away for a moment as he brought her in wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She seemed apprehensive at first but she glanced at the girls seeing that they were far too engrossed in the movie to really notice the change. She relaxed against him closing her eyes and breathing him in. She couldn't help it really he had this overwhelming calming effect over her and she couldn't really understand it.
Nick grinned and held her close to him feeling so completely at ease. She was already a hit with the girls, the fact that Jo had given her; her favorite toy to play with was a huge step in the three of them getting to know each other. He liked that she seemed to like the girls but he wasn't sure if she was all that okay with this new turn of events. He watched his daughters smiling as he saw them slowly tire and fall asleep, the movie always had that effect upon them especially since it was already past their bed time. After the movie was over he stood and leaned down gently placing each of them on either shoulder.
Marie watched them as he went up the stairs placing them in their beds. As he laid Jo down last she stirred slightly and smiled at him. "Is Marie going to sleep over?" She asked innocently, she'd been wanting to have a friend to sleep over for quite some time, ever since one of the girls in her class had a huge sleepover party and invited all the kindergarten girls.
"I don't think so sweetie...get some rest okay?" He said simply as she accepted his answer and nodded turning over onto her side. He leaned down kissing her temple and covered her in her sheets smiling at her small form.
"I like her Daddy..." She whispered as he reached her door. He grinned putting on the nightlight and closed the door behind him going down into the living room where Marie still sat her mind making her face contort into a look of deep pensiveness.
"So..." He said simply as she looked up and chewed her bottom lip. She stood and paced a little unsure of what to say, or really how to say anything. To say she didn't have a wonderful evening would be an absolute lie but at the same time she didn't know how to really process the information presented to her in such an unconventional way.
"I don't know what to say...They're really wonderful..." She began as he shoved his hands in his pockets and studied her expression. "But I don't know how to react to all of this. I like you, a lot and this has moved us way past complicated here. I think I need some time to think this over." She said trying to give him some hope but also at the same time to buy her some time from making a rash decision that she may regret later.
He swallowed hard, he knew this wasn't going to be easy, nothing ever really was for him anymore. "Okay... I agree take your time and think about it. I mean you were amazing with them and they like you...and more importantly I like you. But I don't want to force you to accept anything about my life that you're not ready to handle. I want to see this through and see what happens between us but I also need to be fair to you." He explained making her look at him. They nodded and she crossed the room stopping just in front of him. He moved over to her as well and kissed her.
She sighed as they broke apart and she nodded, "I'm sorry for this I just..." She began but he held his hand up stopping her.
"Don't apologize, sleep on it. I want you, you know that already. But at the same time I want you to want me too...and the girls are a very big part of me so I get that you need the time to think this over...and I'm willing to give you that. Just don't take too long." He said with an impish grin. He walked her out to her car and stopped her before letting her get in the car. He kissed her long and hard hoping this wasn't going to be the last time he did so. Things were definitely going to be complicated for them from here on out and as he watched her pull out of his driveway he had a small little light of hope in him that all would work out okay.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay another chappy! thanks so much for all the reviews so far! more to come soon!
Chapter End Notes:
as always r&r!
