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* Brians Point of View *

The next few weeks were tough but I could see the old Deanna coming through and that's what kept me going. Sometimes when she thought I wasn't looking she'd zone off into her own little world then come back smiling as if she were here the whole time. Those times scared me. When she zoned out like that was she thinking of him? I sure hoped not, we were making such great progress.

I caught myself staring sometimes not quite knowing why...seeing her with our son again, seeing how happy she was, it made me happy. But I couldn't help but wonder if she really loved me like she said she did. There are times I think she loves me and others when I think she just doesn't care. From the outside she looks normal and you would never think that anything was wrong, but I'm sure inside the demons were raging to come out.

And even though I shouldn't, I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry for every wrong thing Nick had ever done or said to her. If it wasn't for him my wife wouldn't be how she is now, god...I remember when Nick first introduced us to her she was so happy and so full of life. That's the woman I fell in love with, but this woman...this girl...wasn't my Deanna and thanks to him she never would be.


* My Point of View *

It's been a few weeks since Krissie came to talk to me and I was thinking over everything she said. Maybe she was right...why was I holding on when it was hopeless? I still asked myself that sometimes...then I'd catch Brian stealing glances and smile. I didn't deserve him, I didn't deserve the smiles or the kisses he gave me, and I certainly didn't deserve our son. He was the innocent one in all of this, I just hope that when he's older he'll be able to forgive me for hurting his father the way I did. I looked down at him laying in my lap and smiled he was so much like Brian. I held his little hands and he smiled up at me, despite everything my baby still knows who I am...thank god. I just need to push all of this behind me and move on, but that's easier said than done.

The days dragged on and I kept getting sick, I couldn't figure it out. One minute I was fine and the next I was running for the bathroom. Maybe I caught that awful flu bug that's been going around. Once I finished puking up my lunch I flushed the toilet then turned to look at my reflection in the mirror, I looked awful and I felt as bad as I looked. I flipped the light off as I walked out of the bathroom.

"Still sick?" I glanced up at the sound of my husbands voice and nodded "Yeah...I don't know what's wrong..." He walked over to me and placed his hand to my forehead "You do feel a little warm...why don't you go lay down on the couch? And I'll make you something to help settle your stomach." "I think I'll do that...thank you..." "Don't mention it, now go on." I walked past him and went downstairs quickly laying down like he told me, I didn't feel as dizzy as I had a few minutes ago. I looked up at the ceiling and rested my hands on my stomach. I drifted off and thoughts of the last time Nick and I were together plagued my mind, I smiled happy to see him even if it was only in my dreams.

I opened my eyes suddenly, a realization hitting me. I sat up a little quicker than I should have and had to hold onto something to keep me from falling. I got up and walked into the kitchen and glanced at the calendar, I always kept track of my cycle the doctor said it's the best way to remember. I counted backwards in my head then once more and my breath caught in my throat. There's no way Brian and I haven't...then it hit me if I was indeed pregnant there's only one other person to consider. I smiled as I dropped my hands to my stomach, this could be what Nick and I needed to come back together.

Hearing footsteps I quickly made my way into the living room and laid on the couch pretending to be asleep. For now I would play the charade of being sick until I could find out for sure. I felt Brian's hand feel my forehead again then heard his soft voice.

"Hey...you awake...?" I opened my eyes and looked up at him then sat up with his help, I sniffed at what he was holding. "What's that?" "An old family remedy, try it it might help." I took the mug from him and sipped, this was really good. "Mmm...I can feel it warming me up, an old family remedy you say...?" "Yup. I called my Mom and asked what I could make to help you and that's what she gave me." "Thank you and it doesn't taste half bad." He smiled as I sipped some more. I didn't dare bring up what I had realized just moments before, this was gonna be my little secret for the time being.

Keeping this news to myself was killing me, I so desperately wanted to tell somebody but I knew that now wasn't the time. I don't think Brian has suspected anything and I'm hoping it stays that way. I had made an appointment with my doctor just to be sure, I was pretty sure I was but rather see it to believe it right? I told Brian I was going to the doctor which wasn't a total lie just the part about what kind of doctor I was going to see. I thought about how I would tell Nick and how he would take the news. I know the topic of children never came up much with him but I definitely knew that if it was his I was keeping it no questions asked.

So here I am sitting in a doctors office waiting to be seen. I glanced over the magazine I was reading to see a young couple both smiling as the guy placed his hand on her stomach, I feinly smiled. Would that be Nick and me? I sure hoped so I couldn't imagine doing this without him. I sighed to myself then having another vision of me telling Nick my news, I cringed at the thought then shook my head 'No that won't be us, he'll be so happy about me carrying his baby...I know he will...'

"Deanna Littrell?" I looked over at the open door when I heard my name called, I sat the magazine down on the table and got up following the doctor back to the examination room. I sat on the table and looked over at the doctor. He started asking the usual questions: the day of my last cycle, how long I've been feeling like this, if I had taken a pregnancy test. "Actually no I've been pregnant before and I remember how I felt with my son and lately I've been feeling achy, dizzy, sick..." "I see. Well why don't you lie down and we'll take a look." I scooted back and layed down on the bed and took a deep breath as he pressed down on my abdomen.

"I can defeinitely feel it but I'd like to do a ultrasound just to be sure." "Alright..." I lifted my shirt as instructed and shivered as he squirted the cold jelly on my stomach, I then moved my head to face the ultrasound machine as he sat down and flipped it on. He placed the scope on my stomach and moved it around a bit and smiled "You were right Mrs. Littrell there is indeed a little baby in there..." He turned the screen towards me and I smiled as I saw my baby on the screen and heard the sound of it's heart. "Now let's see if we can tell how far along you are..." He pressed some buttons then I saw him slowly moving his lips, doing the math in his head I guessed. "By the looks of this I'd say your 2 to 3 weeks, give or take a day or two and..."

I saw him look at the screen a little closer "Hold on...well now would you look at that, not only are you carrying one baby but two." "Tw...two...?" He smiled at my expression "Yes, two I'm sure your husband would love to hear this kind of news." "Yeah...my husband..." I bit my lip as I looked at the screen. I listened as he told me the date of conception then I knew that these two babies weren't Brians, they were Nicks.

What was I going to do...?