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I pulled into Nick's driveway and sighed. What if she was there? I did NOT want a confrontation with his so called lover. He didn't love her he loved me and I was gonna prove it. It still pissed me off that he never brought up the idea of marriage let alone gave any hint about it. And now out of the blue he decides he's in love? Bullshit. This had to be an act cause there was no way he loved her, no way in hell. I got out of the car and shut the door taking a deep breath to quickly compose myself. It's now or never. As I made my way up the pathway I could swear I saw what looked like AJ's car parked in front of the neighboring house. There was no way that he...oh damn it was him. But how in the hell...Brian goddamn him, he knew exactly where I was headed and he was most likely headed in the same direction.

I quickly decided that I should wait till AJ left but no such luck because as soon as I started walking down the pathway he was getting out of his car making his way to me. I walked a little faster to get to my car but I never made it. No sooner had I put my hand on the handle AJ had grabbed my arm and turned me to look at him. "AJ will you just go?" "No. Why can't you face the facts Dee? He doesn't love you." "He does too I know he does." "He does does he? Well if that's the case then why is he getting married to someone that isn't you?" "I don't know...he's confused and doesn't know what he wants." "No your the one that's confused running halfway across the fucking country and for what? To stop a wedding that's gonna happen whether you want it to or not." I covered my ears not wanting to hear any of this and AJ quickly pulled my hands away from my face "Don't act like we haven't told you any of this before. When is it gonna sink in? That man has been bad news since day one and you know it." "You don't know him like I do...he can change." "I think I do I've known him since he was twelve I know how he works. And he'll always be like he is with or without you. You have somebody who would lay his life on the line for you and yet your pining for somebody who will never love you the way he does." "I know...I know!" "Then what are you doing here?" "This wedding can't happen." AJ stood there not knowing what to say they were never gonna get through to her.

Just as he was about to say something else the door opened and Nick stood there looking at AJ and his ex-girlfriend going at it.

I looked towards the house and saw Nick there, watching us with his arms crossed across his chest. "What are you doing here?" "I...um...we need to talk." "What's there to talk about? Nothing that's what." "Nick please I just wanna..." "Go home Deanna." I just looked at him, the man I loved who I wanted desperately to love me back and sighed. "What were you thinking coming down here? That I was gonna ditch Jess and come crawling back to you? I don't think so." "But Nick...I love you..." "Will you stop saying that? I don't care how much you say you love me, I don't love you at least not anymore." I looked down at the ground his words echoing in my head '...I don't love you...' "Nothing to say Deanna?" I looked back up at him tears brimming my eyes "How can you not love me? I have done everything for you Nick." Nick sighed and rubbed his temples "Just go alright? I don't have time for this." "Bullshit. You just don't want to admit how you really feel." "I'm going to make this as simple as possible. I. don't. love. you. What part are you not getting?" "Stop lying to yourself we have a history Nick and you'll never have someone who loves you as much as I do." I felt AJ grab my arm and I pushed him away. "Goddamnit you heard the man he wants nothing to do with you now let's go." "I said no AJ." "Well too damn bad," he said once again pulling on my arm leading back to his car. I looked back to see that Nick had shut the door and I struggled against him "Let me go!" "No your going to my house till Brian gets here." "He wanted you to spy on me didn't he?" "Why do you care? The man loves you and you have a new baby I can't believe you would be this selfish." "I can't help who I love AJ." "Yes you can you just don't want to give your heart to Brian. I sometimes wonder why he even puts up with you."

I struggled again as he opened the passenger side door and pushed me in, I crossed my arms and cursed him under my breath as he got in his side and started the car up. I looked out the window as we pulled off, and looked back till I couldn't see Nick's house anymore. I sighed resting my cheek against my palm. AJ looked over at me and I replied back coldly "What?" "Don't have an atittude with me I'm doing this for your own good. It's for the best." "Whatever...," I mumbled as I watched the scenery zoom by.

~*~*~*~*~*~

AJ got up off the steps when Brian pulled into his driveway quickly getting out of the car asking where his wife was. "Don't worry she's here Bri, she's upstairs." "What the hell was she hoping to get out of this?" "Nick's love but he told her off." "Good...that no good son of a bitch. She doesn't need that and I sure as hell don't need to see him." Brian took the stairs two at a time until he reached the room she was in. He softly knocked then opened the door.

I looked up at him "Why must you keep tabs on me?" "Why must you lie to sneak out of the house? That was so childish Dee." "Yeah? Well I don't care." "Don't get smart with me we're only looking out for you." "I don't need to be looked after." "Yes you do you need help and I want to help if you'll just let me in." "Why do you love me Brian?" "What kind of question is that?" "Just answer it." "It's hard to explain seeing as the woman I fell in love with is no longer here but trapped in some kind of fantasy world." I really looked at him then, I could see the hurtful expression on his face. Why did I keep hurting him? He didn't deserve this at all and yet I comtinued to hurt him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "If you didn't love me then why did you marry me?" "I did at first and I guess I just didn't wanna be alone." "That's no reason to keep someone hanging like that Deanna. This isn't fair to me or Chris, have you even thought about him in all of this? He's only a baby, a baby who needs his mother. You have to make a decision...are you gonna let this whole Nick thing go and make a life with me or are you just gonna live in your little world where everything is perfect? Because you can't have both."

I sat on the bed letting everything Brian said sink in. Did I really wanna give up on Nick? Did I really wanna give my heart to Brian not knowing if he'd hurt me? I just didn't know. I leant forward and rested my head in my hands looking down at the floor. That was a big step for me to let go of my past and work on the future. I had been with Nick for so long that I forgot what a real relationship was. I forgot what it was like to be held and told you were loved, I forgot about how it was supposed to be. All the shit Nick put me through you would think I would have let it go by now but he holds a piece of my heart that noone can ever have. And poor Chris I wasn't even thinking of him in any of this I was only looking out for myself, and that wasn't right.

I looked up at Brian who was waiting for my answer. "I can't promise I will forget but I will try and if your willing to help me through this then I guess it's worth a shot. I care for you Brian you've shown me what being in love is supposed to be like. I wanna be there for you and Chris and to be the woman I once was, if she ever comes back." Brian simply smiled there was hope yet. He knelt in front of me and held my hands "I will do whatever it is you ask of me, and I will help in the best way I can. I love you."