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I collapsed against Nick as the final wave of my orgasm hit me. He always kept me coming back, I don't think I could stay away if I tried. I lay there quite content and not wanting to move as I felt his arms wrap around me. I smiled as a thought popped into my head, this is exactly where I wanted to be. If home was where the heart is it only made sense that I was home when I was with Nick. I felt him smooth my hair back and lay a soft kiss to my forehead. "You are incredible." I smiled at his compliment "So you've told me." I sat up so I could look down at him "I don't want to leave." "Then don't. Stay here with me." "But what about Brian? What will I tell him?" "That your staying over Howie and Krissie's?" "I guess I could but I don't know." He ran his arms up my back and into my hair pulling me down. "Please...? Just one night." I looked into his eyes and I was lost. There was no winning a battle with him. I would call Brian and tell him our little lie we made up, but for now all I wanted to do was lay there with Nick.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"So you have no idea of where she is?" "None. She's been out almost every night this week. And I haven't the slightest clue as to what she's up to." "Really?" "Yeah...she leaves and doesn't come back till late." "Hmm...I wonder what she's up to and--" "Hold on Kev, I have another call..." Brian clicked over to the other call coming in "Hello?" "Hey honey..." "Deanna where are you? it's almost 10." "I'm hanging out with Krissie I thought I told you, I'm sorry..." "That's alright, are you coming home soon?" "That's actually why I was calling..." I felt the bed shift behind me and Nick's lips on my neck. I tried ignoring him as I talked "I was gonna stay here with her tonight." It was silent for a few minutes. "Brian?" "Yeah...I'm here..." "Is that ok? I'll be home tomorrow." "That's fine you two rarely get to hang out so yeah I'll see you tomorrow." I closed my eyes as I felt his lips moving up towards my ear and fought the urge to moan "See you tomorrow." "Love you." "Love you too." I hung up and turned around to face Nick "And you...I was on the phone..." "And your point is...?," he said playfully taking the phone out of my hand "I got bored." "Uh huh...bored or horny?" "Both actually you gonna take care of that?" I could see the smirk on his face and pushed him back on the bed "Of course I am...," I said as I leant down to kiss him as his hands gripped my hips.

"I'm back that was Dee...she's staying with Kris tonight." "I bet that puts your mind at ease." "For now." "This will be good for her, to be able to hang out with her best friend." "Definitely, Kev I gotta go Chris is crying. Talk to you later?" "Of course cuz." "Give my love to Kris." "Will do bye now." Brian hung up and proceeded to go upstairs to retrieve his wailing son. He picked him up out of the crib and held him close trying to shush him. "Shh...it's ok, Daddy's here..." He rocked back and forth, rubbing his back till he heard him quiet down. He was about to lay him back in the crib when he started again and he picked him back up. "Alright...Alright...where did Mommy put your binky?" He looked around the room not seeing it anywhere. "Let's see if it's in the bedroom..."

Cradling Chris he walked down the hall to the bedroom and walked in immediately spotting it on her nightstand by the bed. "Here we go, Mommy left it in here..." He gave it to him and he sucked on it for all of 2 minutes before he spit it out and wailed louder than before. Brian turned away from the bed and patted his back as he conintued to cry, a few minutes later he heard a burp then he felt something wet running down the back of his shirt. "Chris what did you...," he held him up in front of him to see him smiling "Your tummy was upset, is that all it was?" Chris giggled and Brian just smiled "You are just too cute to be mad at, you lay here while Daddy goes and gets cleaned up." He layed him on the bed and pulled off his shirt, quickly pulling another one out of the drawer and over his head.

"There we go and...not again..." Brian picked him up just as he let everything in his little stomach out onto the sheets. "We'll just clean it up that's all, save Mommy some trouble." He quickly cleaned Chris up and put him in a new sleeper, then placed him in the playpen while he went to tackle the bed. He pulled the comforter off and held it up checking to see if anything was on it, nope nothing. He placed the pillows on the floor and pulled off the over sheet, then started pulling the matress up so he could get the sheet off when something fell out and hit the floor. He looked down and saw a little pink book with 'My Diary' written across the front. 'Must be Deanna's' he thought, but he didn't know she kept a diary. He placed the mattress back down and bent down to pick up the book. He wanted to open it and read it, what would she write in there? He sat it on the nightstand and finished stripping the bed. After putting the sheets in the washer he went back into the room spotting the book again. It couldn't be that bad right? He picked up the book and ran his hand over the front cover and took a deep breath as he opened it beginning to read.

Dear Diary,
Today I became Mrs. Brian Littrell and I couldn't be happier...
He read on smiling noticing she had written in full detail of their wedding and their honeymoon.

Dear Diary,
Our baby was born today, Christopher Thomas Littrell came into the world at 3:52 this morning. He is so beautiful, he has his Daddy's eyes. He'll be here soon to see his baby boy...

He didn't know she kept track of all this, it was really sweet. He flipped through the older entries deciding to see what she had written recently.

Dear Diary,
I went and saw Nick today. He told me to go home, what the hell? If AJ hadn't been there to stop me I would have begged him to let me stay so we could work this out...

Why would she write about that? It obviously wasn't something someone would want to remember. He flipped a few more pages to see yesterdays date and started to read.

Dear Diary,
Unable to sleep once again. It could be from the amazing night I had with Nick or maybe it's my mind screaming. Screaming from what? Screaming from everything thats happened these past few weeks. I am really at a crossroads. I want to tell Brian I'm deceiving him but maybe it's better if he doesn't know. It's official Nick is back in my life and I couldn't be happier, not exactly what I had in mind but I guess it's better than nothing. I hated to leave him tonight I really did but I knew I had to.

It's hard to explain exactly what I feel for him. When I'm with him everything just feels so right ya know? Like it's the way things are supposed to be. And then there's Brian...I care for him, love him even but not like Nick. Things won't be peaceful for much longer I know. The truth will have to come out, hopefully I'm strong enough to tell him. I have a feeling Krissie knows. How? I have no idea but she does...Howie too.
If she does know I just hope she doesn't say anything, it should be me to tell him. I am the one cheating afterall.

Cheating...such an ugly word, a thing I promised to never do. And what am I doing now? Cheating on my husband. Is it considered cheating if there's no love? I don't know. I could be with Nick now, snuggled against him as I sleep. But for now all I have is Brian, speaking of which I should get back to before he wakes up. We'll catch up soon.

Brian stared down at the words he'd just read. How could she? The woman he loved was cheating on him and she didn't even have the guts to tell him? Krissie AND Howie knew and they hadn't told him? What the hell?! He closed the book and tightened his hands around it wanting to burn it, to burn every single memory she had of that bastard. "At Krissie and Howie's huh? Bullshit." By this time he was fuming how dare she even think that Nick was better than him, no fucking way.