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“Measure Of A Man”
Written by Sara(goneplatinum@live.com)
Two Thousand & Eight

---9---

Brian had spent enough time in a hospital room as a patient to know the ins and outs of the place. He strolled down the tiled hallway towards the elevator, when a small child sitting alone in one of the chairs opposite the elevator bank caught his eye.

“Hey there, sweetie. Where’s your Momma and Daddy?” he inquired, crouching down to the child’s level.

The little girl, probably around 5 or 6, smiled brightly and began twisting a brown curl between her fingers, nails painted a hot pink. “They’re visitin’ my brudder.” she said, jabbing her thumb back in the direction of the ICU.

“Oh. Well, why are you out here, then?”

“Cuz I’m too little to go inside. You hafta be twelve, and I’m only this many.” She held out five fingers and grinned happily, showing off two dark spots where teeth had fallen out. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Brian. What’s your name?” he asked with a matching grin. The girl’s smile was infectious. She giggled and covered her mouth as her cheeks turned from pink to crimson.

“Hallie,” she replied with another giggle. Brian shook his head as Hallie continued to giggle. “I know who you are.”

“You do?” Brian asked. He arranged his legs Indian-style and leaned an elbow down on his knee. “You know who I am?”

Hallie nodded, the smile never leaving her lips. “You’re a Backstreet Boy.”

Brian blushed heavily. “Aww, you found me out.” His eyes got real wide for a second, and he looked to his right and left before wagging a finger at Hallie. She scooted to the edge of her chair to listen closely. “But you can’t tell anyone, okay? Let’s keep it between us.”

“A secret?” Hallie pondered this for a quick second before nodding enthusiastically.

Brian chuckled and got up, brushing off his backside as he leaned over to give Hallie a quick kiss on her cheek. “You be a good girl, okay?”

“Why are you in the hoppital, Bwian?” Hallie asked, eyes wide with innocent curiosity.

Brian smiled softly. “Because one of my very good friends got hurt.”

Without wanting to delve further into the situation, Brian took a step backwards and pushed the ‘down’ button. His mind instantly went to his own son, Baylee, who was a little bit older than Hallie.

He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and watched as the floor numbers lit up and faded as the elevator made its journey to him. Countless times, he and the guys had visited the hospital to sing to sick children and help brighten their day. Every time they had left he’d thanked God that it hadn’t been any of his family lying in the hospital beds. But now it was. Nick was a broken façade of a man he used to be.

Brian sighed ruefully as he stepped onto the elevator. He turned to push the button for the main floor and smiled as Hallie came back in sight. She was in the same situation as he, only she had the exuberance of a child to stay positive and hopeful. He smiled at that and gave her a small wave. If she could have hope then so could he. So could Nick. They just had to get through to him.

“Bye, Bwian! Say hi to AJ for me!” Hallie said, waving the elevator doors closed.

----

Nick sauntered down a stark white hallway. He rubbed his bare arms as the temperature seemed to drop ten degrees with each step he took.

“Hey Nick.”

He stopped, heart beating fiercely inside his chest as realization struck. He knew that voice, the slight accent that ringed through each word. He turned to look and was faced with no one. He was alone in the hall.

“Nicky, I’ve missed you,” came the voice again.

Confused beyond belief, Nick turned in a circle, frantically looking around. Again, he saw no one. He stopped, dizzy from the turning. He was alone but yet… he knew he had heard her voice.

His strong voice echoed down the hallway as he called, “Jilly?”

“Nick, I’m right here.”

“What the fuck?” he whispered, trying desperately to focus his already bleary eyes. “Jilly, come on. This isn’t funny.”

Then, as if by magic, Jill’s smiling face appeared in front of him. She was beautiful, unmarred by all the bruising and devastation of the accident, but so transparent. Pale as if she hadn’t been in the sun for years. But it was definitely her. Nick gasped and reached out, begging for just a touch. Anything.

“Nick, how could you do this?” she asked, her full lips turned down in a frown.

Nick licked his own lips, blinking rapidly as he stared at her. “Do what?”

“How could you let me die?”

“What?!” He shouted, incredulous at the accusation. Suddenly, an onslaught of images flashed through his mind. Bright red blood, so much so that he felt as if he were drowning in it. A body atop a gurney. The sounds of machines beeping frantically as voices he didn’t know shouted out orders. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and shook his head, trying to clear away the thoughts. They only intensified, flashing through his brain faster and faster, like a roulette wheel on speed.

Suddenly, the beeping stopped. He heaved a sigh of relief and opened his eyes to see Jill fade away before him. He reached out and shouted after her but it was too late. She was gone and the beeping was back. Only this time, it was a loud and screeching continuous beep. He tore his gaze from where Jill once stood and looked down the hallway toward the noise.

He could see two doctors through the doorway. Their blood spattered scrubs came into view as they hovered over a bed with a body. One doctor moved, his movements causing a gust of wind to blow curly brown hair over the side of the bed. He stood off to the side and looked down at his watch. “Time of death…”

Nick’s eyes went wide and his heart plummeted. “No!” he shouted. He fell to his knees and slammed his fists against the floor as he watched the two doctors draw a sheet over the lifeless body of his girlfriend.

Time of death… time of death…

“Dammit, no!” he shouted again.