I shouldn’t love you... but I want to...I just can’t turn away...
There he sat, on the same bed he’s been trying to sleep on for the last month, but nothing, the most sleep he ever got was when Jan was passed out on top of him, he was strategic, yelling her name when he needed to, but even though he was yelling out his girlfriends name, all he heard, all he seen, all he wanted to feel, was Leigh-Anna. The sixteen year old was all he thought about, all he wanted to have back in his arms, all he wanted was her, but he couldn’t have her yet, and the emotional pain of it all was crippling.
So there he was, sitting, back propped up on his headboard looking ahead into the dark hallway, staring helplessly into the dark abyss of blackness, as if expecting her to walk into his room and steal his heart away, as if she didn’t already didn’t do that. He could’ve stuck by her, he could’ve said those three little words at the beach when they melodic smooth words escaped her mouth. When they did, they were forever engraved in his memory, the sweet way it sounded for her raspy voice, the way it made the tingles surge down through him, the way his heart melted, and the way she took off when he didn’t have the balls to say it back. God damn, since when do I, Nick Carter, feel like this about a teenager? Damn it Leigh-Anna!!
Some time passed since he’d seen her last, about a month to be exact, June was fast approaching, two days away from the starting summer month, and almost a month since he’d spoken to her, he tried to call her the first week, try and make a plunging agony healed, but she would speak to words to him, even A.J tried to get her to come around, and at least give him some clarification about her! But, nothing.
I deserve this, he guessed, he played with her emotions, back and forth, just like a ping pong game, one minute he had himself convinced that he absolutely had to stay as far away from her as he could, and then another minute he only wanted to be with her, he knew it was wrong, to want a sixteen year old in ways someone his age would, but he couldn’t resist, everything about her drove him crazy, her multi toned hair, her blue-ish gray eyes, the sweet sound of her laugh, and the way every time she looked at him his heart went wild. Either way, the road he chose couldn’t be turned back, he had to live with the decision, no matter how much he didn’t want to.
He took five seconds out of his hard concentration to briefly glance at the clock, the green digits read two o’clock in the morning, he sighed and swiftly raked his hands over the course of his sandy locks, whishing this whole nightmare was over with. Then, there was a loud booming against the door, but a brief one, Jan stirred in her sleep, but just relaxed underneath the covers, he sighed and hurried out the bedroom, he didn’t love Jan, who was he trying to kid? But, she didn’t make him feel better, for a short amount of time.
The booming continued, he dashed down the stairs and un-bolted the door, after looking through the peep hole, letting his tattooed older backstreet brother inside. A.J stood in the little room, his expression desperate, very tried, Nick nodded toward the kitchen, A.J took off his jacket, letting the rain drip off his coat, they trudged into the living and Nick reached over to turn on the lamp, filling the room with lightness, but the mood that was fogging in was anything but.
“What’s wrong bro, you look like you seen a ghost, is everything alright?” Nick asked right away, sitting on a stool across from A.J, the only thing keeping them apart were A.J’s feet touching his own.
“No not really, if you want an honest answer, Nick, do you know where Leigh-Anna is?” A.J asked bluntly, but the wonderment and desperateness was so abundant in his raspy voice.
Nick swallowed a lump in his throat, just hearing her name used in A.J’s pacific tone sent his brain in ten million different places. “No, I haven’t even spoken to her in like, a month.” He said sadly, trying his best to keep it out of his voice, thankfully he got his strongness shield from his father. “Why, is she alright?!”
A.J sighed and looked at the floor, placing a quick black finger-nail painted hand on his head. Nick’s senses picked up like a wolf on the hunt. “A.J man, whatever it is, please, let me try and help you, I haven’t seen her anywhere, she hasn’t returned my calls...A.J, do you think something could be wrong...again?” He asked. Oh please keep her safe wherever she is! If something happened to her I don’t know what I’d do!
“Okay, but you need to sit down and stay there while I’m telling you this, no causing a uproar when it doesn’t need to be, for now anyway. But all I know is that Leigh-Anna has been missing for a few days.” He said in low voice.
“What?!”
“Hush! Quiet okay? Yes, she’s been basically gone for the past three days, some say in her family that she’s staying over to Amanda’s and others say she just secluding herself somewhere.”
“A.J? Do you know what the fuck your saying? Leigh-Anna’s missing and all I’m hearing from them is mixed signals, A.J for all we know she could be hurt, she could be missing, or worse!” He jumped, his intensifying worry growing within each second passing.
“Yes I know what it sounds like but I’m sure it isn’t as bad as everyone thinks.” A.J lied to himself. Nick’s laser blue eyes darted into A.J’s, and it seemed to work, something clicked, causing Alex to give up the charade and spill his guts. “Alright, ever since she ran away at the beach, she’s been totally crazy! Clubbing, drinking, I’ve even caught some Marijuana in her purse! I mean, I’m totally thankful you haven’t seen each other but honestly, this is getting out of control! I can’t believe this but, Nick, I need you to help me look for her.”
Nick smiled. “No problem, I’ll help you look, come on then, we better go!” He said, the anticipation on both their parts was building, they hoped to their feet and went toward the door, Nick and A.J’s movements were abruptly disrupted when the soft call from the middle of the stairs made them turn around.
“Nick, what’s wrong babe?” Jan’s figure stood in the middle of the stairway, her hair somewhat in a mess, her sleepiness still abundant in her voice.
“Uh, yeah, babe, I need to go out with A.J for a bit, we’re going to find Leigh-Anna.” Nick’s voice was strong, and determine, he was going to find her, no matter what, no matter what happens, he was going to see her through this time.
Jan’s sigh filled the air, and her cold words brisling through them both as she spoke. “I don’t see why you’re both wasting your time over her, she’s just a whiney teenager desperate for attention.”
Nick could feel the lightning dart across his eyes. “Jan, listen okay? Leigh-Anna isn’t a whiney teen, she’s very mature for her age, and she’s still going through a rough time right now. So stop talking shit about something you know nothing about, go back to bed I’ll be back when I get back!” Nick snapped, dragging an impressed A.J out the door into A.J’s SUV.
...Meanwhile...
Please make it stop, Please make it go away! She begged in her mind, her body sprawled all over who knows where she was. She could hear brief noises from around her.
“The ambulance is on the way, they’ll be quick. They always are.” Someone said in the background.
The terrible pain she was in, like a fire surging through her veins, like something smashed her into a wall full of spikes, the blackness that flooded her vision refused to go away. She was drowning away a painful truth that she couldn’t bring herself to do. Even though she couldn’t get up, she kept thinking the same thing over and over.Nick where are you?
Author's Chapter Notes:
Up with another update, I've been working on this in bits and pieces all week, but I'm finally posting now! Yay!! Just a little reminder, I am in the hospital as I'm typing to you, I got out of a surgery a few hours ago, I’m feeling much much better and so is my sister! Any other questions can be asked on AIM and MSN, but I will be posting more frequently from now on! Thank you so much!
Chapter End Notes:
Song credits: Just so you know -Jesse Mcartney
