Hello my darling,
I know I’m not supposed to write to you any longer and I’m still not exactly sure why. I mean for my part I never did anything wrong except fall in love with you. Now if that is a crime than I guess I’m worthy of any punishment that has been thrown at me so far.
Maybe if you would be so kind as to at least send me a note back, just so I know you are okay. Ever since the incident I haven’t seen or heard from you. Not even one call or one small visit. Nothing!
After all that I did for you. All that I planned for us.
I know you blame me for what happened but as I’ve said time and again, it wasn’t my fault. Those girls just got in the way. I’ve figured out that God helped me out there; you know making me hit them instead of you. He knew I’d never forgive myself if I had harmed you but then again I wouldn’t be alive right now either so it’s a marvelous Catch 22. Can’t you see the irony in that? I’m laughing about it right now.
All I know is deep down in my heart, we were meant to be together. Always and forever, I guess it’s just that we will be together in life now instead of death although one will eventually lead to the other.
I have blabbered on long enough and am anxiously awaiting your reply.
I love you sweetheart. Give a kiss to the rest of the guys from me!
Your beautiful girl,
Cassandra
I sat and stared at the letter, my life has changed so much, everyone was against me but I knew they were just tests. Test number one came when they put me in this horrible place, away from my posters and any chance I had to be with my boyfriend. It didn’t matter where I was as long as I had a way to talk to Nick, tell him I was sorry but most of all I wanted the satisfaction in hearing him apologize to me.
I’m sure that is what has been bothering him most about this, not being able to see me so he could tell me how sorry he was for ignoring me in the first place. He must feel terrible; I know I would if I were him.
“Looks like shit for brains Cassie is at it again” I tried to hide the letter when I heard her voice but it was too late, she saw it and grabbed it out of my hands. “Look she’s writing to her boyfriend again…you are crazier than sin girl” I jumped up on my feet to take back what was mine but she only laughed and ripped it in two.
I attacked her then; she was always so mean to me and for no reason at all. I hated being in here surrounded by all these crazy people. I made her fall to the floor and I pulled her hair. Her little posse was on me in no time flat, trying to get me off of her, but I was a pit-bull and wouldn’t let go.
“Get off of me you crazy bitch!” She screamed at me trying to grab my hands that were holding her hair. I was trying to yank out as much as possible before the guards could get me off of her.
When they pulled me up I held firm onto her head and sure enough I had a nice healthy clump in my hand while she screamed in agony.
“She’s such a crazy bitch” She was crying as they pulled me away from her.
“He’s never going to come and see you. He hates you!” I wouldn’t listen she was just one of the many people in here who were jealous of my relationship with Nick. It was understandable I suppose but it was also getting old.
I found myself in solitary which came as no big surprise; the only thing bad with being alone was not being allowed a pen to write with. I sat on the floor against the padding and looked at some of the leftover hair still intertwined between my fingers. Maybe I would send Nick this in his next letter. So he could see all of the sacrifices I make for him while he gives me nothing in return.
I took and uncurled the hair from my hand and stared at it, placing it by my face and blowing it away as if there was a breeze. Just like that day, it was so windy that day. Nick’s hair was flying all over the place, if he had only let me fix it for him.
As the door opened she stepped in, the one who was determined to keep me and my true love apart. This was always the worst part about ending up in solitary. I quickly placed the hair in my pocket so she wouldn’t take it for her own. I knew the way she worked; she wanted nothing more than Nick and I to stay apart so this way she could have him all to herself.
“Hello Cassandra, I heard you had a fight today” I didn’t answer her, because she didn’t even deserve my time or attention.
“Oh we are being silent today are we?” She walked closer and sat down beside me, “Why don’t you tell me what happened”
“I don’t have to talk to you”
“I know you don’t but it’ll make things a whole lot easier if you do”
“I know you’ll just twist my words when you talk to him”
“Oh, is this about Nick Carter again Cassandra?”
“No” I learned to lie to this woman so she would leave me alone.
“Maggie said you attacked her because she took a letter from you is that right?”
“She’s just jealous”
“Is that what happened?” I nodded, I guess there was no reason for me to lie about that part and maybe now that crazy bitch would get what she deserved.
“Cassandra, I thought we had made a promise not to write to Nick anymore”
“I can’t he loves me and will be expecting my letters”
“He doesn’t even know you Cassandra, but you know that deep down… don’t you?” This is where I had to start lying. It was all becoming such a familiar routine, someone picking on me because they were jealous and then her coming in and telling me not to write to Nick anymore. She wanted him all to herself.
“He loves me you know…you’ll never have him the way I do”
“I am not interested in him Cassandra; I am married and have two children of my own”
I laughed, because I knew she was lying. I saw the way she stared at my boyfriend when I’d show her his pictures. Then she took them away from me. All away, every last one even the one I had of just his baby blue eyes.
“Nick is going to fire you when he figures out why you’re keeping me here”
“And why are we keeping you here?”
She was treating me like I was a child, I am no child. “Because you want him all to yourself”
“I have told you this time and again; I do not work for Nick Carter. In fact I have never even met him”
“Right” I laughed under my breath again and turned away from her, I had learned not to be aggressive with her because the last time I was they restrained me. Besides I don’t want Nick to get mad at me.
“What about the little girls Cassandra? Do you remember them?”
“Of course I remember them woman, I’m not an old senile lady like you”
“That is why you are in here Cassandra”
“Sure that’s what you say but I know it’s no true. I don’t believe you”
“Fair enough I guess, but for the time being you need to stay in here and cool off”
“Can I at least have a pen and paper?”
“You know the rules and besides you aren’t supposed to be writing letters to Nick anymore”
She walked out the door and I could swear she was laughing at me as soon as it locked. I hated being surrounded by all these whack jobs. If he wanted to keep me safe from paparazzi and his jealous girlfriends he could have at least sent me to Hawaii or something not here although I admit it was a brilliant cover.
That was my Nick, always looking out for me.
I closed my eyes to picture him standing there walking by me, the wind blowing his hair every which way. He looked incredible, he always looks incredible. Once again I took out the hair from my pocket blowing on it making it fly out of my hands and hit the floor.
The next day they let me out of solitary and back into the main loony bin. I know they felt bad for me since I didn’t deserve to be here in the first place. I would always let the nurses know that by giving them a wink and a smile. We all kept the masquerade going.
I walked over to my table first grabbing a pen and paper. It was so nice to be able to write again. Weird how a pen in this place was considered a luxury.
My darling Nick,
I had written you such a beautiful letter yesterday, poetic and awesome. Of course the powers that be saw fit to destroy it but they can never destroy our love for each other so no fear about that. I hope you are sleeping well darling. I know I am having the hardest time sleeping soundly without hearing your heartbeat next to mine.
Soon
I really think you should fire the woman that comes and talks to me sweetheart, without the risk of sounding like an overly jealous girlfriend, I believe she has ulterior motives for keeping me here. I was thinking that maybe you could find the time to talk to the people who work here and ask them if they could send me to Hawaii instead? This way you can come with me and keep me company.
I know this is as hard for you as it is for me. Nothing pains me more than to be away from you and those sparkling eyes and smile. I miss you more and more every day if that is even possible.
Please come and visit me my love. I am ever so lonely here without you. You could even bring one of the guys along, I’m sure they could keep the guards occupied long enough for us to have a little romp in the hay.
I miss that most you know, our long nights of love making. Just the two of us naked and curled up by the fireplace.
I hope you have been taking good care of my mother since I’ve been gone. She hasn’t been to visit so I am sure it’s because you are giving her lots’ to do. Maybe you sent her down to Hawaii to fix up the condo for us? What an exquisite idea. You are always one step ahead of me Nickolas Carter and that’s why I love you so much.
By the way I have a souvenir for you; it’s a patch of hair. It’s the same color as mine roughly, but I don’t have to tell you that I guess. Duh me…sometimes I think this place IS making me crazy. Anyway take it, hold it in your hand and think of me. She attacked me you know trying to get me not to write to you but nothing can break our bond. Love is stronger than that.
Okay well I have blabbered long enough so until I see you again happy dreams and I can’t wait until you come and whisk me away.
Your beautiful girl,
Cassandra…
Sorry it took so long to update this one I hope you enjoyed it
