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A week later, the tour was now in Buffalo, New York. They had a two day break before everyone had to perform at the HSBC Arena.

It was one-thirty in the morning and Bella found herself not able to sleep. The tour had her on weird schedules and it wasn't up to her when she wanted to go to bed; it was up to her body. She grabbed her hotel room key and decided to head down to the weight room to get a work out in.

As she walked into the weight room, she was surprised to hear weight plates clinging together. She figured she'd be the only one working out this hour, she was even more surprised when she saw it was Nick. He had just sat up from the bench press when she walked in. Their eyes met each others immediately and Bella looked away.

"I was just, uh, checking it out. Bye," she started to leave until Nick called her name.

"Isabella."

"Yeah?" She asked trying to avoid the hypnotizing blue eyes. Nick only used her full name when he was serious.

"You clearly came to work out, you're wearing sneakers, wind pants and a sweatshirt and carrying a water bottle."

"Hmm, perhaps." She shrugged a little and gave a half smile.

"So work out." Nick laid back on the bench and Bella felt a pain shoot through her chest. The pain that clearly was just love lingering over. She went to the treadmill, put her iPod in her ears and got on.

Bella began to warm up slowly but after two minutes she was running at six point five miles per hour. Doing her best to keep her eyes off Nick while he worked out; her speed increased as My Chemical Romace's song "I'm not Okay" began playing.

Reaching nine miles per hour, she felt a pain shoot through her stomach and a wave of nausea hit her. She hit the emergency red button and grabbed the rail for support. Nick was doing squats when he saw Bella almost collapse on the treadmill through the mirror. He set the barbell down and made his way over to her.

"Hey are you alright?" He asked, wondering if he should put a hand on her arm. She looked up, her face in pain and arms around her stomach.

"I'm fine." She attempted to stand up right.

"Considering you were just haling ass on this thing, your face should be red and you're really pale."

"I just over did it, I ran yesterday too and-" She told Nick as she went to step of the treadmill and felt herself spinning.

"Hey easy, sit down," Nick held her arms and helped her sit down on the ground. He handed her water bottle to her and knelt down. "Do you want me to take you to see a doctor?" He asked trying to read her face.

"No." She took a sip of the water.

"You've passed out on me a couple of times a long time ago, aren't you over that?" Nick tried to crack a joke and Bella didn't smile.

"Go back to working out, I'll be fine in a minute."

"No, let me take you up to your room. I'd get my ass kicked, if you went up by yourself and something happened." Nick stood up and held out his hand. Bella was hesitant before reaching up her hand to take it. Butterflies swarm again as soon as her skin touched Nick's.

Still feeling sick to her stomach and light headed, she brought her free hand to her head. "Could we actually just sit another minute?" She asked ready to sit back down. Nick took both hands and pulled her to him. He put an arm around her waist.

"Let's get you up to your room. I think you're actually next to mine." He guided her out of the weight room and to the elevators. Once up to their rooms, Nick took her card key and stuck it in to open her door. He held the door open and she walked in and he followed to her as she sat down on the bed. The way up, they had both been quiet not saying a word to each other. Both feeling the remanence of two years ago.

"Thanks Nick." She said.

"Welcome. If you don't need anything, I guess I'll see you tomorrow maybe."

"I'm fine. Thanks." Nick nodded his head and began to turn away. "Nick?"

"Yeah?" He turned back towards her.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that in your note," he said without skipping a beat. It was a low blow to Bella but she knew she deserved it.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you." Her voice was a low whisper but the last part got Nick's attention and he came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Protect me? What kind of excuse is that, you used me for my fame to get your name out there and a record label." At Nick's words, her eyes shot up to meet his.

"I'd never do that to you Nick. Is that what you really think I did?" Bella's voice rose.

"You left me with nothing else. But it's fine. It's old news, you're here on this tour doing your music thing and well, hopefully you last without my name attached." Nick stood up and she reached her hand to grab his arm. Nick glanced down and saw a bracelet on her hand with a medical sign. She quickly retracted her hand and stood up.

"If you ever truly knew me, you'd know enough that I'd never use or hurt you on purpose. Yes, you helped me with my music and that just is a coincidence that it all took off just as we were about to break up or when I left. But if you can think back, I didn't start to record this album or get started for six months after we broke up. If I got a deal because of you, why wouldn't have I started it sooner?"

Nick had nothing to say after Bella spoke because he knew deep down it was the truth. Blaming her for her using his fame was just easier.

"I'm tired and am going to bed. Goodnight Nick." She said sharply and walked away to the bathroom. Nick let out a sigh of frustration as he watched her disappear and then turned to walk out of her room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"This time, this place, miss-used mistakes, too long too late, who was I to make you wait? Just once chance just one breath, just in case there's just one left, 'cause you know, you know, you know...
"I love you, I have loved you all along and I miss you, been far away for far too long, I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and you'll never go, stop breathing if I don't see you anymore...." Bella sang and strummed her guitar. She saw Nick standing back stage, watching her and her eyes stayed on him. Nick couldn't tear his eyes off her as she sang her last song for the opening.

"On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance. Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all, I'd give for us, give anything but I won't give up cause you know, you know, you know...
I love you, I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreamin' you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.

"So far away, so far away, been far away for far too long, so far away, so far away so far away for far too long. But you know, you know you know...

"I wanted, I wanted you to stay. 'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say, that I love you. I have loved you all along and I forgive you, been too far away for far too long. So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it, hold on to me and never let go. Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it, hold on to me and never let go. Keep breathing, hold on to me and never let me go. Hold on to me and never let me go." (Nickelback-Far Away)

She finished strumming the last chords, said thank you into the microphone and stood up to exit the stage. She walked briskly off, and passed Nick. She stopped in front of his face and he saw the tears that ran down her cheeks and then she was gone. They hadn't talked since Nick brought her to her hotel room.

"Wow," Nick's thoughts were broken from Brian coming up to him. "You alright?" He asked Nick who was clearly upset.

"She didn't sing that song the first night."

"No." Was all Brian responded with.

"She kept her eyes on me throughout it."

"I don't know what to say. Talk to her?"

"We tried the other night. We started fighting."

"Give it some time Nicky. We have to be out there in five minutes though."

"Great," Nick shook his head knowing he wouldn't be able to focus on the show as much as he wanted.

Bella in the meanwhile went straight to her tour bus since they'd be leaving that night after the show. She showered and put herself into a pair of flannel shorts and a camisol top. She sat in the back where there were a bunch of throw pillows and she picked her cell phone up and called Erica.

"Hey girl, I've been waiting for your call!"

"I'm so sorry. It's been crazy."

"It's fine. Hey are you crying?" Erica picked up on Bella's choked up words.

"I sang 'Far Away' tonight," she admitted and hugged a pillow to her chest.

"Oh. Did Nick hear it?"

"I couldn't take my eyes off him as I sang it." The tears then began to flow again.

"Oh, baby I'm sorry. I know how many tears and long nights you spent on that song."

"We talked a little Thursday at the hotel after I alost passed out."

"You what?!" Erica yelled in the phone worried and Bella explained what happened at the weight room.

"Are you making sure you don't get sick? You should maybe go get yourself checked out, you can't over do it Bella!"

"I know I know."

"He really thinks you used him?"

"Yeah. I talked to A.J. the first night and explained to me how much I had just hurt Nick. Howie and Brian haven't talked to me yet, they're being protective of Nick."

"You still-"

"Love him." Bella cut off her best friend. "It hurts so bad still." The tears came again and Brynn could feel a headache begin to form.

"Maybe you shouldn't be on this tour. You can't get yourself this emotionally exhausted on top of physically exhausted. You'll end back up in the hospital."

"I'm in remission, I'm fine." Bella lay down and curled up in a ball. "But I am tired, I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay, well call me tomorrow. You have one more day off, correct?"

"Yeah. I'll call you. Love you."

"Love you. Get some rest."

"I'll try," Bella sighed and closed her phone; setting it next to her. Still hugging the pillow she tried to close her eyes to sleep but she couldn't get her mind off of Nick.

Pulling out her journal that was on the table from writing in it the night before she began writing.

**I knew this tour would be hard but I honestly thought I had some how managed to push away my feelings for Nick far enough that when I did see him; I wouldn't be affected. Singing "Far Away" though tonight; and having him stare at me as I completly let my heart unlock once again proved otherwise.

Who am I kidding? I never stopped loving him, I never fell out of love when I broke things off, I did it to protect him because I honestly have no idea how much longer I'll be on this planet. He needs to live his life to the fullest and his fullest is much longer than mine. He seems happy though and I don't want to take that away from him...again.

I suppose a part of me still wishes that we could be tog** Bella's thoughts were disturbed when she heard a knock on the wall above her. She turned around and her green eyes met Nick's.

"I didn't mean to bother you but I was wondering if we could talk? Perhaps for the ride to New York City?" He ran a hand through his wet hair cautiously, obviously he had showered after the show. Bella wondered what time it was, it seemed like it was just nine when she got on the bus.

"Yeah sure," she sat up and closed her journal, setting it to the side. She moved over so Nick could sit by her and she pulled a blanket over her legs.

"Were you crying?" Nick asked looking into her eyes. They must've been red still and she could feel her wet lashes every time she blinked. She only shrugged and looked away from Nick.

"What do you want to talk about?" Bella asked, holding a pillow to her chest. She often did this to feel comfort.

"Bells, I don't want to hate you." Nick said and they both jerked a little as the bus pulled out of the parking spot.

"You have every right though."

"I don't think I could ever hate you. I was too much in love with you." The word 'was' made Bella flinch a little away from Nick. "I spent so much time and energy wondering what I did to make you leave. Countless nights crying like a big baby, being miserable around the guys. Not caring about my music."

"Nick I really am sorry for hurting you."

"I know you are and from your songs, and yes I own your CD, I know they're about me."

"All of them."

"I need to know why Bella." His words were full of hurt and he looked deeper into her eyes, he had this way of looking into her soul.

"I told you. To protect you."

"FROM WHAT?!" HIs voice rose and he through his hands in the air!

"From keeping you from having a full life!"

"What are you talking about? You gave me life and I can tell that you're not the exact same and I need to know what changed." Bella looked down at her hands that once held a promise ring on her ring finger. "I wanted this tour to be easy. As soon as I heard you were coming, I was angry I'll admit. But I can't keep my eyes off you when you sing and tonight, that song..."

"I know," Bella whispered and closed her eyes briefly.

"Did you mean everything in that song?"

"Of course. I don't write meaningless songs Nick."

"Then tell me."

"Tell you what?" Her eyes met his again and his face was closer.

"That you still love me, to my face."

"I thought I did tonight."

"Tell me again."

"I love you."