After everyone left, we spent the night sleeping on the floor of our new nursery. Alex brought in some comfy blanket and pillows, he said we could sorta camp out. He turned on the night light he picked out so we'd have just the right amount of light without getting candles out.
We just laid there holding each other, listening to each others hearts beating. I could never explain what I felt when I was in his arms. It was like the entire world was on pause, and we were the only two people on earth. The way he wrapped his arms so tight around me, the way he smelled, the sound of his breathing, it was just heaven.
The way he was holding me was giving me hints that something was wrong. He was holding me as close as he could, almost as if he was trying to keep himself from crying. I didn't want to ruin the evening and push him to tell me what's wrong, so I decided to let it go until the morning.
"I love you Alex." I whispered as I was drifting to sleep.
"I love you too, baby girl." He answered, drawing me closer to his body.
The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee in the house. I got up, brushed my teeth, got dressed, and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Alex was cooking a full breakfast. He had bacon, eggs, pancakes, bagels, coffee, and orange juice. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.
He jumped, "Shit!"
I jumped back a little, "Sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you."
He looked away,"It's ok. Will you grab me the butter?"
I looked at him trying to figure out what was wrong, but did as he asked. I handed him the butter and turned to walk to the table where he had silverware set out, along with two glasses of juice, and his coffee.
I turned back to look at him, he was still ignoring me. So I decided to do the same. I sat at our table drinking my juice, when he brought me a plate, and sat his own down. He still hadn't even looked at me. I couldn't figure out if he was mad at me for something, which wouldn't make sense because he made me breakfast. Or, he was ashamed of something he had done, in which case the breakfast would make perfect sense!
"Alex, did I do something wrong?"
He walked back over to the counter to get a glass of water. He answered while his back was turned toward me. "No, why?"
"Because you won't even look at me!" I yelled, standing up and walking over to him. When I did, I noticed his hands were shaking, and he had something in one of them.
I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me, when I did, he just moved his eyes away.
"ALEX!" I grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little.
He finally looked at me, and when he did, he immediately looked away. And started to walk away. I grabbed his arm, and fought him to stay.
"Megan let me go!"
"NO! What is wrong!? Alex please just tell me!"
By this time I was in tears, pleading with him to let me know.
"I....I-I can't Megan."
"Why are you calling me Megan? You only call me that when there's a problem! Alex, we've told each other everything all our lives. Why won't you tell me now?"
"Because I'm afraid to."
"Why?"
"I- I have to go."
I grabbed his hands as he was trying to leave, when I did, he dropped 4 little blue pills on the floor.
Author's Chapter Notes:
really short chapter..but i shoud have the next up later tonight!!
