I was released from the hospital the day before yesterday, and still have not spoken to Alex. He's tried of course, but I'm just not ready. I still can't believe he's been drinking and taking pills again. I'm relieved that he's not doing cocaine again, but he's still hurting himself, and I cannot stand to watch. Just about everyone has called my phone, from Kevin to Leigh Ann and even Baylee's called me a few times. He told me he had to make sure Aunt Meggie and the baby were ok. It's amazing that I'm still in awe everytime I look at Baylee. He really is a walking angel.
Back to Alex, Kat has been staying with me. Alex has been staying with Nick, knowing I don't want him around right now. Kat told me he's been working on something since that day in the hospital. She doesn't know what it is, but she said he's been spending hours on it, not sleeping so that he can finish it. I also heard from Denise. She said he stopped by to apologize to her, and to ask how he could get me back. I told her that I didn't leave, I'm just taking a break from him.
And, when Kevin called, we spent a good two hours talking about Alex. He told me how Alex was after I kicked him out, and that he was sure Alex was serious about stopping. I've gotta admit, if he could convine Kevin, then maybe we would be fine.
I really am torn, 95 percent of me wants me to listen to Kevin and forgive him, and go back to how we were. But, the other 5 percent is reminding me of ten years ago and telling me to make him work at it. At this point, I don't even know what he could do to show me that he's still Alex.
~AJ'S POV~
I've been running ragged for the past 2 1/2 days. I want to show Megan how much I love her and how much I care about her. I know a present isn't going to make her forgive me. But, something made from my heart will help to show her how I feel. And, hopefully, she'll believe that I want to change.
I started going to AA meetings again. I've been to three so far, the first being the day she kicked me out of the hospital. I know that I never want to do anything to jeopardize my relationship again, so that in itself guarantees that I won't relapse again.
Yesterday morning I went to see my mom. I wanted to apologize to her for hurting her, yet again. But, I also went to go through some old things of mine, and to get some things she's kept over the years. I'm making Meggie a scrapbook of our lives. I know it's nothing spectacular, but, I hope it means as much to her as it will mean to me.
I found hundreds of picures of us, inluding baby pictures, class photos, prom, graduation, backstage at our shows, weddings, just about any time in our lives was documented with a picture. I also found newspaper articles from some performances, and some other random things that would only hold sentimental value to us.
I stopped by a craft store on my way to Nick's, where I'm staying for now. I got tons of crap you use to make scrapbooks frilly and whatnot. I could only imagine if a fan saw me buying lace and glitter pens. Haha, I know you're probably giggling at me, but hey, I love her.
Anyway back to my story, I'm currently putting the finishing touches on the scrapbook. It's taken me a grand total of 26 hours to make, and I'm exhausted. But, when I'm done, I'm going straight home to give it to her.
~MEGAN'S POV~
I spent the day hanging around the house with Kat. Since I was released from the hospital, I was told to sit and lay around as much as possible. It's now 7, and Kat's going out with Nick any minute, leaving me alone tonight, which I suppose is gonna have to be alright.
Just as I was putting a hot pocket in the microwave, I heard the front door open and close. I figured it was Nick, so I didn't bother to check it out. A few seconds later, I heard his voice. Even though I was mad at him, it was so raspy and sexy.
"Hey."
I turned around slowly, looked at him for a second, and then spoke. "Hello."
This was the first time I'd talked to or seen him since I kicked him out of my room. So, we both were cautious.
"How are you?" He asked softly, concern in his eyes.
"I'm fine. So is the baby." I half smiled.
"Good. I've been worrying about you."
"Alex, you don't need to. I'm fine."
"I know, but I worry when I can't be there to protect you."
"Yeah.." I trailed off. "Have you eaten?"
He shook his head. "Not in three days."
"Alex."
"I've been really busy. I've started AA meetings, I've been to three so far."
I smiled a little, but inside I was ecsatic. Maybe he was serious about changing.
"I'm glad Alex. I really am." I paused for a minute. "I talked to Kevin."
"Yeah?" He asked as we sat down.
I nodded, "He told me what you said in the hospital." I stopped talking when I saw a gift wrapped box on the coffee table. "What's that?"
He smiled, "It's for you. I made it. I've been working on it for 2 days."
He picked up the box and handed it to me. I got more comfortable on the couch before opening it. When I opened the box, I saw something red with white lace. I took it out of the box and realized it was a scrapbook. The outside was a red, plush material, with white lace trim around it. I looked up at Alex, he was watching me, with a sparkle in his eye. A sparkle that I haven't seen in weeks.
I opened the book and saw a letter he wrote to me.
'Meggie,
I love you more than anything in this world. I love you more than life itself. I promise you, with everything I am, that I will continue to love you even after death do us part. I want to spend the rest of my life, and afterlife with you. I want to raise our children, and grow old together. I promise I will find a way back into your heart. I made this for you, if at anytime you feel what we have is slipping, open this, your heart will remember what we mean to each other. I love you baby girl. And will always love you. You are my complete world, nothing else matters to me.
Love,
Alex'
After reading the letter, I wiped a tear away, and turned the page. As I looked through it, I saw the detail he put into it. He must've been up all night doing it. There were pictures and clippings from every part of our lives. From birth, to our honeymoon.
My favorite, was the page he made for my prom. He was my escor to my senior prom. He was a year older than me, and already out of school, and also well on his way to celebrity status. But, he found time to take me. The picture he put was us outside the school. He had on a traditional tux, with a flower, and I was wearing a light yellow gown, an dmy corsage he bought me. We were smiling so big in the picture, I'm surprised we didn't pull a muscle in our faces.
On the same page, he also had a napkin that had my lipstick print on it. We were joking around, so I kissed the napkin at the afterprom, even I didn't know he kept that. Also, there was a newspaper headline with the announcements of prom king and queen. No, we didn't win. But, we did dance to their song, even though we weren't supposed to. But hey, we were so excited that they were playing As Long As You Love Me, that we didn't care.
After I finished the enitre scrapbook. I looked over at Alex. He was watching me the whole time, and I could tell in his eyes that he was hopeful.
"Alex. I don't know what to say." I said quietly, looking into his eyes
He took my hand, and brought it to his lips. "I love you baby."
I sat there, quietly thinking to myself, as I made the what seemed like the hardest decision of my life.
Author's Chapter Notes:
soooo..here you go!! please keep leaving reviews!!
