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Brian wanted to scream as he continued to read all of the disgusting things that went on with a woman while she was pregnant. He couldn’t put the book down even though it continued to gross him out page after page. He was very thankful he had not been born a female. He was sure he would not have been able to handle it. He could see now why some women were very determined to never have children.

Leighanne had gone to a bookstore and had purchased every baby book she could find and then boxed them up and sent them to him. He’d almost tripped over them the other day because someone left them by his bunk without telling him they were there, but after he regained his footing he had ripped open the boxes knowing what was inside. He had laughed and smiled to himself making Howie look at him like he’d lost his mind, but he couldn’t help it. He felt free when thinking about his child. He couldn’t wait to be a father.

Leighanne was already eight months pregnant and the doctors had warned her that the baby could come early and to make sure she was prepared. He still couldn’t believe she had managed to keep such a huge secret for so long. He knew he had to tell the rest of the guys soon, but he was trying to hold off as long as possible. They would have to make all the proper arrangements to be able to have the baby on the road with them. That was one meeting management was not going to like. He wasn’t entirely sure how they would react. He didn’t want them doubting his ability to raise his own child, or them trying to talk him out of it. It was his decision and he had made it. They would just have to deal with it, when the time came, now was not that time. He couldn’t bare the thought of looking them all in the face and telling them he’d failed at his marriage and was getting a divorce. Thoughts of the baby had consumed his thoughts and had taken the focus off of his pain and projected it onto his happiness.

Brian thanked the waiter as he brought him another cup of coffee. He was sitting in a small café around the corner from the hotel. He needed some fresh air and a chance to get away. Being in the hotels was fun for awhile, but they also made Brian even lonelier. So he had packed his backpack with books and left. He had worn a disguise and had brought his body guard so he felt safe and free being able to go thoroughly through the parenting books, but that was before Nick walked in.

Nick’s eyes lit up when he saw Brian sitting alone and quickly made his way to the table where Brian sat. He stopped short and his eyes grew wide as he saw the stack of parenting books on the table. He sat down slowly almost afraid. Brian quickly moved the stack of books off the table, but was not quick enough. He knew Nick had already seen them. He smiled cheekily as he took a sip of the hot coffee from his mug. “What’s up Nick?” Brian asked innocently.

“What the hell Brian? What else have you been keeping from me?” Nick demanded crossing his arms across his chest.

Brian looked away and sighed. He knew this was going to happen. Nick was going to get hurt and think it was some big conspiracy to keep him in the dark, when all Brian needed was just a little space and understanding. He watched the people coming in and out of the café and wondered briefly how it would feel to lead a normal life. Then maybe he wouldn’t be so clueless in this parenting thing. He remained silent unsure of what to say, where to begin.

“Come on Brian. What’s going on? We used to tell each other everything. You used to be my Frick? What’s going on with us that you have to keep secrets?” Nick asked softly, almost in tears.

Brian sighed and leaned back in his chair finally meeting Nick’s eyes. “We haven’t been spending a lot of time together, have we?” He asked softly.

Nick nodded sadly. “I just miss you Bri. You used to be like the other half of me. The Frick to my Frack. Don’t shut me out now, please. Let me know what’s going on. I love you.”

Brian thought for a moment before beginning. “Leighanne and I decided to get a divorce.” Brian started, deciding to tell the younger man the entire story.

Nick’s eyes grew wide. “Why? What? How? When? What happened?” Nick blubbered on a million miles a minute.

Brian laughed softly. “Calm down Nick. Everything’s alright. It was a couple weeks ago. It was more of a mutual decision then something one sided. We just grew apart, we both wanted different things and it didn’t make sense for us to be married anymore. Neither one of us was happy so we decided we were better off as friends instead of husband and wife.”

Nick nodded but was still confused and couldn’t wrap his mind around everything at once. “So what’s with the baby name book?” Nick asked leaning back in his chair.

Brian smiled. “Well, Leighanne is eight months pregnant.”

Nick fell out of his chair and onto the café floor causing people to turn around quickly at the loud noise. Brian began laughing uncontrollably and Nick glared at him as one of the bodyguards helped him up off the floor. He sat back down gently, making sure he would not fall again. “Next time warn a person so they can make sure all four chair legs are on the floor before you drop something like that.”Nick growled angrily.

Brian smiled. “Oh you’ve been warned. That’s not the entire story so keep the damn chair still. She doesn’t want to keep the baby. So I am going to take complete control and responsibility.” Brian said smiling proudly.

Nick say shocked trying to take in all of the new information. He couldn’t believe everything Brian had just told him. “What a bitch!” Nick said loudly.

Brian shook his head. “I understand her reasoning for doing this and I’d rather t be this way so I can have my baby with me all of the time instead of half way across the world in Georgia the whole time. I’m ready, I can do this.”

Nick watched in amazement as his best friend grew up. He couldn’t believe Brian was going to be a father, much less a single father. He knew Brian could do it though. Out of all of them Brian was the most responsible.

“Please don’t tell anyone Nick. I am not ready to tell them yet. If management or my parents find out before I am ready they will try and talk me out of this and I don’t want that. This is my life. I’m going to live it how I want to.”

Nick nodded. “I won’t say a word to anyone and I’ll be here for you if you need to talk, or need help with the baby or whatever. Wow in less than two months we’re going to have the first Backstreet Baby. A cute little Brian to play with!” Nick said grinning.

Brian laughed, “We don’t know what sex it is yet. It could turn out being a girl, who knows. And you can’t really play with a baby for the first few months.” Nick rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant.”

Brian smiled across the table. “Thanks for listening Nick. It feels good to be able to talk to someone besides Leigh about it. We should totally hang out more.”

Nick smiled widely. “Yeah! Don’t worry about it Bri, I’m always here for you, you know that. I’m going to go get changed for the sound check.”

Nick got up from the table and left the café. He couldn’t believe there was going to be baby around. He entered his hotel suite and smiled as he remembered his date with AJ the night before. He had an amazing time. The game had really back fired on him, making himself open up old wounds instead of getting to the bottom of what was really eating away at AJ. He hated having to talk about Kevin and Aaron, things he had dealt with so long ago. It felt good to talk about it, but he hated the images, the thoughts that lingered from discussing it.

He changed quickly and was ready to leave to get on the van when there was a knock at his door. He opened it quickly to find a very handsome AJ standing on the other side. AJ stepped into the room and shut the door roughly behind him. He took Nick in his arms and hugged him closely. Nick smiled at the act unsure of how to respond. He hugged him back just as hard. AJ pulled back a bit before leaning down and kissing Nick softly. Nick smiled into the kiss and kissed him back harder, pushing the smaller man up against the closed door. The two men got lost in the kiss allowing it to deepen and get more intense.

There was a loud knock at the door making the two men break apart quickly. “Nick, we’re leaving soon. Get your butt downstairs.” Howie yelled through the door. The two men stared at each other, chests heaving trying to catch their breath. “We’d better go.” Nick said.

AJ opened the door to Nick’s hotel room and slipped out into the hall leaving Nick alone in the room with his thoughts. Nick finished getting ready to meet everyone downstairs. He thought for a moment and smiled as he thought about their kiss. He could certainly get used to this.