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AJ whistled to himself as he jumped up the steps of the bus. He felt happier than he had in weeks. He had a newfound sense of belonging and self confidence. He still missed Brian, but he had to face some facts. Brian had made it clear that he didn’t love him and he was tired of letting Brian get the best of him all the time. He was tired of being unhappy. He just wanted to live. Nick made the pain of missing Brian lessen and he would be forever grateful to the younger blond for being there for him, no questions asked. He still didn’t feel comfortable telling Nick about Brian, and he seriously doubted he ever would.

He changed into sweats and an old t-shirt and stretched out on the couch in the lounge area waiting on Nick to get on the bus. They had decided to ride together to the next city and AJ was more than thrilled. He hated being alone on the damn buses. He always got bored an hour into it and would be thankful to have some company for the duration of the trip. He had ordered a pizza and had made Marcus go and get it before they boarded. He had even gone out and bought three cases of Mountain Dew. All that was missing was the younger blonde.

The door to the bus slammed open smashing against the wall and making one of the loudest sounds AJ had ever heard. He laughed hysterically as he watched Nick fall into the bus trying to hold all of his bags. AJ got off the couch and went to help the younger man, chuckling the whole time. “What the hell Nick?” AJ said laughing.

Nick glared at AJ from his place on the steps. He through the closest bag up at AJ and smiled when it hit him in the face. AJ laughed and reached down a hand to help him up. Once Nick was on his feet again he finished picking up the bags and through them into the lounge area of the bus. He quickly whirled around and pinned AJ to the nearest wall and kissed him softly. AJ smiled into the kiss and reached around to pull Nick closer. They stayed like that for a few moments before Nick pulled away and rested his forehead gently against AJ’s. “It’s nice to share a bus with someone.” He said shyly.

AJ smiled and grabbed his hand, leading him to the couch and the pizza. Nick flopped down on the couch and opened a couple cans of soda. AJ wondered into the kitchen and grabbed plates. Nick took them with a smile and handed AJ back a full plate. The two men settled easily back into the couch with their pizza.

“What did you do today?” AJ asked munching on his first slice of pizza. He looked at Nick curiously when he didn’t answer.

Nick hesitated unsure of what he was supposed to say. He realized his silence would be more damning so he reasoned slowly. “Well, I hung out with Brian for a little bit.” He said unsure of how the older man would react. He knew something had happened between the two band mates. They could barely be in the same room with each other. He just prayed that their fights would not escalate. He could not handle a tour where they were at each other’s throats the whole time.

AJ smiled and nodded. “That’s pretty cool. You two don’t really see each other much when Leighanne’s here.” Nick laughed uneasily causing AJ to look at him closely. “What?” He questioned roughly.

Nick shrugged. “Apparently Leigh went home. Not sure why. Brian just said she went home the other day and wouldn’t be back with us for quite a while.” Nick said quickly not wanting to tell AJ more than he needed too. This wasn’t his news to spill. He could never betray Brian’s trust either.

AJ felt all the air leave the room. Leigh had left? When did this happen? Brian had made it pretty damn clear that she would be staying for quite a while and was more than ecstatic about it. He wondered what could have happened to make this sudden change. “That’s a bit strange. I thought Brian was really happy to have her here.” AJ said looking away quickly.

Nick shrugged and changed the subject chattering on about the new video game he wanted to get when they got to the next city. AJ laughed and smiled at the appropriate times but he could not really focus on what Nick was saying. All he could think about was Brian and what could possibly be going on that would make Leighanne go home.

He hated himself for feeling a shred of hope that things between him and Brian could improve. He cursed himself again for falling in love with Brian. Everything had been so much simpler when they were just using each other to get off. AJ had laughed when Brian had even suggested it could be a bad idea because one of them could end up falling for the other. AJ never anticipated that person would be him.

Nick sighed softly. He could see that the other man was miserable but had no idea how to fix it. He just wished AJ would open up to him and tell him what was going on, what had happened. He sat a little closer on the worn couch and pulled the smaller man into his arms. AJ didn’t resist and curled up against Nick’s chest. No words were spoken but they held each other tightly. They fell asleep easily, lulled by the gentle sway of the bus.

They awoke a while later cramped and more tired than they had originally went to sleep. Nick peered outside and noticed that the bus had pulled up to the hotel. He sighed and got up to gather his bags. AJ hurriedly got his things together and bounded off the bus right after Nick.

They were going to spend a few days in this city. They were playing two back to back concerts and had a couple days off before and after the concert making them here almost a week. Nick had no idea where they were but he knew they were near an ocean, he could smell the salt in the air. He smiled as the wind caressed his face. He couldn’t wait to get AJ down by the water. AJ bumped his arm against Nick’s and smiled as they made their way into the hotel. “Can’t wait to go swimming!” Nick beamed at AJ causing the older man to smile too. “Me either Nicky.”

Once inside the hotel they wondered over to the elevators trying not to cause a ruckus that would draw attention to themselves. As the doors shut Nick turned and faced AJ. He pushed him gently against the wall and kissed his lips soft and gentle. Nothing elaborate but just enough, he pulled away quickly as the doors opened up to their floor. Nick reached down and took AJ’s hand in his own. AJ smiled and squeezed Nick’s hand gently. No words were needed as the two men exited the elevator. AJ wasn’t sure what was going on between them, but it felt good to have some contact with another person. Nick pulled AJ down the hallway to his door.

“You want to stay with me before we have to get up again?” AJ nodded and pressed Nick into the hotel door kissing him softly. “Thanks Nicky, for everything.” Nick nodded smiling shyly. He pulled AJ into his hotel room, slamming the door behind them.

Brian could hear the slamming door echoing in his ears but still he stood motionless. He felt like the hallway carpet had been yanked out from underneath him and he had to force himself to remain upright on his feet instead of falling to his knees. His heart beat fast and he felt the old familiar tears welling up in his eyes.
He had seen them the moment that they had stepped off of the elevator. They had been so wrapped up in each other that they hadn’t even scanned the hallway before proceeding to Nick’s room. They didn’t even look to see if there was anyone standing around. They had been completely oblivious to everything around them, so wrapped up in each other.

Brian felt his stomach tighten and fought the urge to be sick. He couldn’t think straight let alone process how he was going to handle seeing them together every day. He had to get out of there. He had to get out of this hotel, out of this city. He turned to go to his room and collided into Howie.

“You alright Brian? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Howie asked concerned. He eyed his friend curiously trying to figure out what was the matter.

Brian mumbled something about getting the hell out of here and pushed past Howie in a mad dash to his hotel room. He gathered all of his things and stuffed them back into his duffel bag. He grabbed the desk phone and called for a cab, determined not to spend his days off stuck in a hotel room with the two of them. Howie stood in the doorway of Brian’s room watching him pace around and gather things together. He had never seen his younger friend so miserable, so out of it and antsy before. It was beginning to freak him out. Brian whirled around and quickly saw Howie still standing in the doorway.

“I’m leaving D. I’ll be back before rehearsals but I have to get out of here. I can’t stay here. “He shook his head to erase his thoughts and waited impatiently for Howie to step out of the way. He quickly went to the glanced at the elevator and decided better of it and opened the door leading to the staircase.

Howie said nothing but only watched as the smaller man glanced once at Nick’s door before opening the door to the stairs. He had no idea what was going on inside Brian but he was determined to find out one way or another. Whatever demons Brian was dealing with were winning and he wasn’t going to sit around and watch them take over his friend. He could only wonder how Nick fit into this as well.