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Brian snuck into his hotel room early the next morning. He felt revived and more refreshed and ready for moving on with his life and whatever challenges came his way in that processes. After spending the entire evening crying on the beach he had to pick himself up and decide the best way to mend his broken heart. He came to the conclusion that the only way to do that was to focus 110% on his impeding child and try his damnedest not to think about AJ anymore. He still missed AJ and longed to be with him, but he had to face some hard facts. He and AJ were over. It was his fault and there was nothing he could do to change the past. If Nick and AJ wanted to be together then he was happy for them. He wanted AJ to be happy, even if it meant having to remove himself from the equation.

He could only focus on the future, the future he had by being a parent. He had called his family on the way back and explained the entire situation to them, leaving out the parts about AJ, and cried with them. They were not happy with the outcome of his marriage, but they would deal. It felt good to have the burden of telling his parents off of his back and he felt more ready to move forward. He was going to be a parent and that was the entire headache he needed for now.

He stretched out on the bed exhausted from the flight and lying on the beach the entire evening. Every muscle in his body ached and screamed in resistance at his every move. He closed his eyes and allowed the sweet sleep to overtake him , taking him to a place without dreams or nightmares. He awoke awhile later to the pounding on his hotel room door. Every pound went through his head like a nail making him wince and curse as he stumbled to get out of the bed. He groaned loudly as he tripped over his shoes and smashed into the wall. He was going to kill whoever insisted on the pounding. He finally reached the door and flung it open grasping the handle tightly to keep his balance. He flung the door open so quickly the visitor almost knocked on his face.

“What the fuck do you want?” Brian managed to bite out glaring at Nick angrily. Nick stood there smiling sweetly. “Good afternoon Brian. When did you get back?” Nick asked brushing past Brian to enter his hotel room. He took a seat on the bed and smiled ay Brian expectantly waiting for him to come in as well.

“Yes, please do come in Nicky.” Brian said sarcastically slamming the door and joining Nick on the bed. “Someone’s crabby this afternoon.” Nick said looking at Brian closely. He looked exhausted.

Brian glared at him. “I would have been fine if you hadn’t insisted on waking me up do god damn early.” Nick laughed loudly making Brian’s head throb harder.

“Brian, it’s almost 3:45 in the afternoon!”

Brian glanced at the clock and groaned loudly. He threw himself back on the bed dramatically. Nick laughed harder and laid down bedside him growing serious. “Bri, I sort of told AJ about Leighanne being pregnant. I didn’t tell him about the divorce or anything like that. He was worried. Howie told us that you were upset and needed to get away and I told him you were probably stressed about the baby. I’m sorry. “

Brian sighed and turned his head to look at Nick. “It’s probably time they knew anyway. I just wasn’t ready to tell them about the divorce and the fact that I’ll be a single parent and have to listen to how I can’t handle it on my own. I would appreciate it if we kept the divorce just between us for right now. I want to tell them when the time is right. I don’t want Howie to know yet.” Brian said smiling.


Nick laughed and nodded. “Yeah he’s going to blow his lid when he finds out about this.” Brian smiled. “I’m not mad at you Nicky, don’t worry.

“Want to come downstairs and have lunch with all of us?” Nick asked hopefully. He hated how far apart that they all had grown. It was like once Kevin left they all separated to their own corners and hardly cohabitated. He hated being away from his brothers and needed them around more. Brian hesitated wanting nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and never come out, but seeing the pleasing look on Nick’s face made him think otherwise.

“Sure Nick. Just give me a few minutes to change and I’ll meet you down there. “ Nick bounced on the bed and jumped up. “I’ll go tell the others that we’re ready to go and meet you there!” Nick bounded out of the room more excited then he’d been in a long time. He loved when they all spent time together.

Brian sighed and ran his hands over his face. He was not looking forward to this lunch. If Nick hadn’t gotten so excited he would have just climbed back in bed and stayed there until someone dragged him out, but he couldn’t disappoint his best friend. He was right; they never did anything together anymore. He did miss his brothers; he just wanted to miss them tomorrow.

He kept trying to convince himself that this lunch would be easier than he thought as he rummaged in his duffle bag for some presentable clothes. He pulled out a dark blue t-shirt and decided it wasn’t all that wrinkled. He pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed his tennis shoes from the corner. He was surprised at how quickly he had managed to get dressed. He grabbed his keys and wallet and closed the hotel room door securely behind him. He tried to remain calm in the elevator. This would be the first time seeing AJ and Nick together and he prayed he could handle it. He could do this, he was stronger now.

The other guys were already waiting when he got downstairs to the hotel restaurant. He grabbed the empty seat next to Howie and smiled brightly at his brothers. He had missed this. After the initial awkwardness they fell into easy conversation about trivial things. Brian decided that now was as good of time as any to fill Howie in so he proceeded to tell Howie about Leighanne’s pregnancy trying desperately to avoid AJ’s gaze as he talked excitedly about the impending birth. They laughed and joked, talking a million miles a minute. All the men were smiling and basking in the company that they had let slip away from them. This was home, for all four men. No matter what happened, they would always have this, this warmth and homeliness in the company of each other. It was something they easily forgot and took for granted, but they meant the world to each other and it was nice to be reminded of that every now and then.

“Guys, I have the best idea ever!” Nick said excitedly interrupting the current conversation. He had been silent for a while thinking of the perfect moment to spring this on them so that they would agree.

“What’s that Frack?” Brian said humoring him.

“We should all ride the same bus to the next city tonight like old times! It would be so cool.” Nick said smiling at the remaining band mates.

They all looked at each other convinced this was a horrible idea, but none of them had the heart to hurt Nick’s feelings, so one by one they nodded their heads and faked a smile for their younger band mate. They all agreed to meet downstairs at six. They decided that Howie’s bus would be the best to pile on as it would be the cleanest and most orderly. They finished lunch and separated to pack to leave.

Brian slowly made his way back to his hotel room. This was going to be a nightmare. Lunch he could handle, but sleeping on the same bus? That was pushing it further than Brian thought he could handle. He began packing his things slowly and deliberately once he got back to his room. This was going to be a night he wanted soon to forget and it hadn’t even started yet.