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Weeks had passed since Kevin had rejoined the remaining band mates and they easily fell back into the old routines they had had for the last fifteen years. Kevin regained his rightful status as ringleader and the rest of the guys had fallen right in line beside him. This is the way it was supposed to be. They needed their fifth member to be whole.

AJ and Nick had barely spoken since the night in AJ’s hotel room. AJ was still mad and was having trouble not wanting to rip Nick’s face off every time the younger man pissed him off. Instead he swallowed his anger and tried to pretend he wasn’t as angry as he really was.

They sat silently watching television in the lounge area of their bus. The two still had to share a bus however so they played nice when it was required. Most of their bus rides consisted of tense silences and angry looks passed between them. Nick knew he had fucked up and wanted to make it up to the older man but knew how well AJ liked to hold grudges. Nick knew things were strained and highly doubted they would return to normal anytime soon.

He knew he shouldn’t have gotten so drunk that night, but seeing Kevin again, after all of that time, was hard for him to deal with. All it took was Kevin walking into the café before all of the old feelings he had tucked away sprang forth and threatened to consume him. He couldn’t explain his reasons. He knew AJ would never listen but he was sorry. He had sincerely enjoyed the time that they had spent together. He liked the older man, even found him incredibly attractive, but he knew he would never want a real relationship with him.

He felt bad because he felt like he had led AJ on in a way by initiating the intimate contact between the two of them. He thought that maybe he could try to feel something more for AJ, but then Kevin came back and it made Nick painfully aware that his heart would always belong to the older man. He wanted so desperately to help AJ overcome whatever it was that kept him so tore up all of the time but then he had went and made it all worse. He really hated himself sometimes.

The two were brought out of their thoughts by the loud noise of the bus door swinging open. Brian tumbled in carrying his suitcases smiling sheepishly. Nick laughed and went to help him get on the bus. “What are you doing here Frick?” Nick asked, relieved for some sort of distraction from the silence.

Nick helped drag Brian’s bags to the lounge area while Brian made himself comfy in a chair across from AJ as Nick sat back down on the couch. “With Kevin back they wanted to go over management stuff with him and Howie. They asked if I could room with you guys for a little while. I hope you don’t mind.” Brian said looking at the two of them shyly.

He was really nervous about being on this bus. He tried to make Kevin let him stay but had been banished to the other bus anyway. He was really anxious about being on a bus with AJ for so long. This would not end well.

Nick smiled widely suddenly thrilled. “It’s great to have you man. If you don’t mind though, I am exhausted and I’m going to go to bed. See you both in the morning.” Nick said before excusing himself to the bedroom at the back of the bus.

AJ and Brian looked at each other silently both aware of the tension of this entire situation. AJ looked away first and got up to get something to drink. He couldn’t handle being alone in the lounge with Brian any longer. He had no idea how he was supposed to keep his sanity on this bus. There was no way he was going to last without losing his mind. Brian sighed heavily into the empty room and decided that sleep was probably his best option. He got up and dragged his bags back to the bunk area. He stripped to his boxers and climbed into an empty bunk. He stared at the wall and moved from one side to the other before finding a comfortable spot and falling into a fitful sleep as the rest of the bus fell quiet.

AJ was thankful to be alone as he reentered the lounge. He decided his best bet would be to sleep on the couch. He wasn’t really sure of any other options. He couldn’t sleep in the bunks that close to Brian and he did not feel comfortable sleeping in the bedroom with Nick. He turned on the tv and settled back into the couch preparing himself for a night of late night talk shows.

He had just gotten settled and comfortable when he heard a cell phone ring. Checking to see that it wasn’t his he went back to whatever talk show he had previously selected. He sat munching his popcorn when he heard a loud crash coming from the bunk area. Concerned that Brian had rolled off the damn thing, he got up and wondered back there to check on him. He pulled back the curtain separating the bunks from the lounge and came face to face with a visibly upset Brian.

“What’s wrong Angel?” AJ said letting the endearment slip. He couldn’t ever remember a time when he saw Brian looking how he looked right now. It scared AJ to see Brian so upset.

Brian stared babbling mot making any sense or able to string any type of sentence together. He kept trying to shove his legs in his jeans while standing and was getting nothing accomplished but falling all over the place. AJ grabbed Brian by the shoulders and forced him to look him in the eyes.

“What’s going on?” AJ insisted.

That’s all it took for Brian to begin to cry. AJ felt his heart break and had no idea what to do besides take the older man into his arms as he continued to break down. Brian gripped onto him tightly and cried while still blubbering trying to talk to AJ. AJ continued to hold him and softly kiss the top of his head trying to get him to calm down so he could understand what was even going on. He whispered soft, soothing words trying to ease the other man. Brian finally calmed down and pulled away from AJ’s embrace. He coughed and wiped his face, trying to steady his breathing. He sat on the edge of a bunk and managed to successfully pull on his jeans. He remained silent for a few moments longer before he spoke.

“Leighanne was taken to the hospital a little while ago. She collapsed while at her mother’s house and they had to call an ambulance. They had to go ahead and do a caesarean for fear that the fall could have harmed the baby. “Brian managed to get out before dissolving into sobs again.

“I have no idea what’s going on. All I had was a rushed message from Leighanne’s mother. I have no idea how either one of them are and Alex, what if something happens to the baby.” Brian cried out.

AJ didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t really been involved with this part of Brian’s life. “I have to get there. I have to be there for my baby.” Brian said grabbing AJ’s arm and making him look at him. AJ nodded and made a move to go back to the lounge before Brian pulled on his arm harder.

“Where are you going? Please don’t leave me.” Brian demanded.

AJ turned and looked at Brian before he spoke. He was falling apart right in front of him. He felt horrible and scared at the same time. He prayed that everything would be ok until they could get to the hospital.

“You have to go with me. I can’t go alone. Please” Brian pleaded, his eyes filling with tears once again.

AJ was stunned that Brian was reaching out to him this way. He figured he would have wanted AJ to have nothing to do with this part of his life but here he was begging for him to go with him to the hospital. Brian needed him. He couldn’t let him go alone. He could barely keep it together now. Regardless of how much it would hurt him to go with Brian to the hospital to see his child being born, he knew he could not say no to the other man. Especially when he looked at him in that pleading way. AJ nodded and pulled Brian to him closely, knowing Brian really needed a hug. Brian fell nicely into his embrace and calmed instantly by being so close to AJ. Brian couldn’t believe he had actually convinced AJ to go with him.

AJ tried hard to keep himself in check. He had to remember that Brian was on his way to the hospital to meet his wife and son. Brian was scared, that was the only reason that he was reaching out to him in this manner. He could feel himself beginning to get sucked in. It felt so good to be needed by Brian. It felt good to hold him closely in his arms again. AJ smoothed back Brian’s hair gently and pulled away.

“I’m going to go have the bus driver pull over. I’ll call a cab and have it meet us at the rest stop and we’ll get out of here ok?” AJ asked leaning his forehead gently against Brian’s. Brian closed his eyes and nodded.

AJ regretfully pulled away and went to tell the bus driver of their emergency. Once that was done he called a cab and told them when to pick them up at. AJ found Brian on the couch in the lounge finally fully dressed.

“Everything is taken care of Angel. We’ll be there soon.” AJ said sitting down beside him gently.

“Nick’s asleep; maybe we should leave him a note. I don’t want to wake him, he’ll freak out. I can’t deal with is stress too right now,” Brian said leaning against AJ for support. He had no control over his body any longer.

His main focus was getting to the hospital as quickly as possible. Self consciously, he was thrilled that it was AJ there with him now. Brian laced his fingers with AJ’s as he allowed his tears to fall. He couldn’t remember a time when he had felt more scared than he did right now. If he had it figured out in his mind correctly it would only take them a little more than an hour by cab to get to the hospital. Brian clung to AJ as they waited for the bus to pull to a stop. Finally after what felt like an eternity the bus slowed and pulled into the rest stop where the cab was already waiting.

AJ threw a quick note to Nick onto the coffee table and helped Brian down off of the bus and into the cab. Once inside the cab Brian curled up around AJ, still never letting go of his hand. AJ was thrilled he could provide Brian some sort of solace. He only prayed everything wouldn’t fall apart once they got to the hospital.