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AJ quietly stepped into the dimly lit hospital room. He had to blink a couple times to get his eyes used to the lack of light but once he could see he looked around at the occupants. Leighanne was sound asleep on the bed and Brian was stretched out on the uncomfortable hospital chairs clutching the tiny bundle of baby in his arms. He was sound asleep, snoring lightly. AJ smiled at the sight. He crept closer as not to wake anyone and looked down at Baylee. Baylee lay quietly in his father’s arms, but remained awake. AJ gently lifted the soft bundle out of Brian’s arms and pulled Baylee close to his chest. He walked through the room to the other side where a rocking chair sat. He sat down silently and quickly got accustomed to the right way to hold a baby close. Baylee stared up at him content to just lying in AJ’s arms.

The beautiful baby took his breath away. He had never before seen something so beautiful, so precious. He knew without a doubt that Baylee had already stolen his heart. He pushed back against the chair and began rocking the baby softly. “Hey little one. I’m your uncle Alex” he said softly kissing the baby’s cheek. He rocked them back and forth, his heart swelling with love. He had no idea he could feel love like this for someone else’s child, but he did. They stayed that way for a while, rocking and looking at each other.

“You’re really lucky, you know that? You have the best daddy in the whole wide world.” AJ whispered pulling him closer and kissing him again. He had never considered himself a baby person, but he could hold Baylee all day and never grow tired. He never wanted to let go. Baylee’s breathing settled letting AJ know he had fallen asleep, but AJ continued to rock them back and forth.

~*~

Brian awoke a short time later, startled that Baylee was not in his arms. He knew he had been holding him when he dozed off but now he had no idea where he was. He looked around quickly until his eyes fell on AJ rocking his son in the corner. He sighed in relief that he hadn’t been totally irresponsible with his son. He climbed out of the chair and stretched painfully. The hard chairs were not something to be slept in. He walked closer to where AJ and Baylee were sitting and stopped when he heard AJ gently singing. He loved to hear AJ sing, especially when he thought no one else was listening. He felt his heart fill with love at the sight before him. He loved those two more than anything in the world. He couldn’t believe how easy it was between them all day. AJ had really stepped up and been the rock Brian had needed. It thrilled him and made him feel worse about himself all at the same time. He could not understand how he ever treated AJ the way he did and he hated himself for it more and more each day. It made him sick to think about. He deserved to be alone and miserable

He looked at Leighanne sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. He wished he could feel the love for her that he had convinced himself that he felt. He knew she still loved him, but he just couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried he would never love her the way he loved AJ. He walked closer and smiled as he recognized their lyrics slipping softly out of AJ’s mouth.

“Hey, “Brian said gently, pulling up a chair beside AJ. Brian lightly ran his finger across Baylee’s cheek, still amazed by the small child. “Hey,” AJ said looking up into the blue eyes he loved so much. He looked back at the baby trying to force the tears away. Brian reached out and touched AJ’s hand softly. “That’s for everything today.” Brian said softly. AJ nodded. “He’s beautiful Bri. You two are very lucky.” Brian looked away. He knew he had to tell AJ the truth. He at least owed him that much.

“Leighanne and I are getting divorced. Baylee’s going to stay with me. “Brian said looking down at his son to avoid AJ’s gaze. AJ felt the air catch in his lungs. Nick hadn’t been fucking with him, it really was true. He sat stunned, unsure of how to respond. He felt like he was drowning. Brian being married he could handle, Brian being single and still not wanting him, he could not. “I’m sorry Brian.” AJ said trying hard to keep the emotions out of his voice. Brian nodded and smiled. “It was really for the best.” He said catching AJ’s eye.

They looked at each other closely. So many things they both wanted and needed to say, so many emotions, so much pain. Before they could do anything however, they were interrupted by the hospital door opening and Nick and Howie stepping inside the room. AJ cursed silently, knowing Brian had been on the verge of saying something, anything. They two men turned to see the others walking towards them.

Nick looked at AJ curiously but he looked away, praying Nick wouldn’t try to start something. Nick kept his mouth shut and took a seat on the floor next to Howie. He continued to stare, trying to figure out what they had almost walked in on. "How's it going in here guys?" Howie asked, stretching out on the floor.

Brian smiled briefly at his son and AJ before turning to look at Howie. AJ pulled Baylee closer to his chest, determined to keep him for as long as he could. "It's great. AJ held Baylee so I could take a nap and then he rocked him to sleep. You better watch out, I think he's going to give you a run for your money for favorite uncle!" Brian said smiling cheekily. AJ smiled softly a light blush tinting his cheeks. Nick watched the interaction between the two men curiously, wondering for the first time if AJ's feelings were in fact returned.

Silence set on the foursome for a moment before Howie cleared his throat and met Brian's eyes. "So I have to ask. How's this going to work while we are touring?" Howie hated bringing it up, but they had barely anytime to prepare for Baylee's birth and the sooner they got this all settled, the sooner they could all move on. Brian sighed and looked at his fellow band mates. He knew this would probably cause some difficulties. He knew no one would be willing to ride with Baylee.

"Well I need to hire a nanny to take care of Baylee when I can't be there, like for the concerts and interviews and such, but other than that I want to do this myself. I don't want some stranger raising my child. I want to do this myself." Brian said determinedly.

"Where are your parents?" Nick asked finally noticing that the grandparents hadn't arrived yet. Brian chuckled. "Sometime today. Kevin called them earlier. They were so pissed that I hadn't called them as soon as I found out. Oh well." He smiled sheepishly.

"Way to go Brian!" Nick said laughing and pushing Brian's shoulder softly.

"What about the buses? Are we going to go back to having individual buses or how is this going to work? I don't want to sleep with a screaming baby." Nick said laughing, bringing the conversation back to the forefront. They sat quietly for a moment. No one had really thought about bus arrangements. They knew they would never get the individual bus idea passed. It had been such an expense when they tried it before that management had said never again. The silence once again enveloped them before AJ cleared his throat. "I'll share with Brian and Baylee and Nick, Howie and Kevin can share the other bus." AJ said focusing his attention on Baylee. He knew Nick was probably smirking at him, but he didn't care. He was doing this, he wanted to do it, needed to.

Howie nodded, relieved that he wouldn't have to share Brian's bus. "That sounds like a great plan to me. I love you Bri, and Baylee, but I need my sleep. You're a brave one J." Howie said laughing. Brian glared at Howie. "Nope he just loves us more then you all do!" Brian insisted then blushed, realizing what he had said.

AJ looked at him shocked at first, then a little hurt. It felt like Brian was making fun of his feelings. Before he could say anything they were once again interrupted by the door opening and Kevin walking into the room. "Brian, your parents are here." Brian jumped up and and left the room with Kevin to greet them. "Want to go get some coffee D?" Nick asked yawning. Howie nodded and picked himself up off the floor. "You want to come J?" Howie asked turning to look at AJ. AJ shook his head and resumed rocking the baby gently. "Nah, I'm just going to stay here with Baylee." They looked at him for a moment before nodding and leaving the room. He sighed in relief and sagged back against the rocking chair. He was starting to lose all of his energy.

He heard a cough and his eyes darted to the hospital bed, where Leighanne was trying desperately to sit up. AJ shifted Baylee to one arm and moved across the room to help her. He gently grabbed hold of her waist and hoisted her up into a sitting positing. She smiled at him thankfully and grabbed his hand as he sank down into the chair beside her bed. She squeezed his hand gently. "Hey." She said meekly after a few moments. AJ smiled. "Yeah, this is kind of awkward." He said looking at her. "It doesn't have to be. I know you don't really care for me much, but I hope we can at least try to be friends." She said smiling at him. AJ nodded.

"Take care of them for me." She pleaded. AJ laughed bitterly. "They'll be fine. They don't need me." AJ said before he could stop himself. Leighanne shook her head and squeezed his hand again, causing him to look up at her. "He needs you, more than you know." He thought for a moment before answering. "I know, all the guys will be there to help with the baby and stuff. He doesn't have to worry."

She shook her head, trying desperately to make him understand. She didn't want to betray Brian's trust, but she couldn't let them go on like this forever now that she could see for herself how much AJ loved Brian. He was miserable, it was written all over his face for anyone willing to see it. "No, he needs you. They'll both need you." She said looking him directly in the eye. He looked away, not wanting to believe the words she said. She smiled. "I know you don't believe me or what I am trying to tell you, but you'll both be so much better off if you just talk to one another instead of always turning and running away from each other."

AJ avoided her gaze and instead stared at Baylee's beautiful face. He tried so hard to ignore the words she was saying. It hurt too much to think about. She smiled at the exhausted man in front of her. Watching him hold Brian's son as if it were his own only solidified her reasoning's for demanding a divorce. They loved each other. She could see it plainly etched on AJ's tired features. She just wished that they would see it, and talk it through. She hoped they would be able to work things out. It broke her heart to see Brian so hurt all of the time and now seeing for herself that AJ was as miserable as Brian she knew something had to be done. She just wished one of them would be the one to break the silence that seemed to be between them and tell each other how they really felt.