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Howie was packing his bags to board the bus when there was a knock at the door. He sighed threw the shirt he was currently folding down on the bed before walking over to answer the door. He was never going to get ready to go. One thing after another required his attention this morning throwing him further and further behind. He opened the door and was surprised to see Brian and AJ standing on the other side of the door. He smiled and stepped aside to let them enter the room.

“What’s up guys?” He asked shutting the door behind them and turning around. He did not like the mischievous looks on their faces.

“We need some help.” AJ said smiling wickedly. Howie hated that look with a passion. Nothing good ever came from that look. At least nothing Howie ever liked. He was secretly thrilled to see AJ so happy. He never imagined it would be Brian that made AJ happy, but he was glad that his friend had finally found the happiness he deserved.

Howie rolled his eyes. “What am I going to have to do?” he asked suddenly very scared. Brian smiled too. “We need you to ride on our bus to the next city. We figured out that Nick and Kevin feel a little more than friends for each other and if we make them ride alone for while maybe they will figure it out and get together.” Brian said smiling sweetly at Howie.

Howie sighed. He did not want to ride on a bus with a baby to the next city, but he would like to spend time with them, and it was for a good cause. He had known about Kevin’s feelings for quite a while and had suspected Nick’s. It only made sense that the oldest and youngest members be given an opportunity to figure it out for themselves.

“Oh, alright. Just tell Junior that I want to spend time with Baylee because otherwise he’ll ask way too many questions and your plan will never work.”

They jumped up and hugged Howie together. Howie laughed and shoved them away. They said their goodbyes and left the room, laughing and smiling as they went. Howie shook his head and went back to packing. Their bus always left late anyway, at least now he would have a little longer to get ready.

~*~

Nick was waiting in their hotel room by the time they got back. “Where have you guys been? I told Rachel I would watch Baylee so she could go get her stuff ready to leave and you’ve been gone forever.” Nick said glaring at them.

Brian smiled. “Thanks bro. We were in Howie’s room. He wanted to talk to us. He wants to know if you will be willing to switch buses so he can spend some time with Baylee. “Brian said hopefully. Nick hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Sure I guess I’ll switch. If he really wants to.”

Brian nodded and smiled at Nick. AJ busied himself packing up all of Baylee’s toys so he would not jump up and down at the prospect of getting rid of Nick. He longed for some alone time with Brian and he was never going to get it if Nick stayed on their bus. AJ looked up in enough time to see Nick leaving the room and smiled. He snuck up behind Brian and wrapped his arms around him. “I love you Alex,” Brian said softly. AJ kissed Brian’s cheek. “I love you too Angel.” They stood like that for awhile enjoying the quiet and each other.

~*~

Kevin was busy adding an assortment of foods to the cabinets on the bus and didn’t notice when Nick had boarded. He had been informed that Nick and Howie was switching buses almost an hour before they left so he had one of his body guards go to the story to get an array of junk food for the younger man. Nick would be unbearable to be with if he didn’t have things to eat.

He had no idea how he was going to survive a bus ride with Nick all alone. There had always been that third person to take his mind off the blonde but now it was just the two of them. Nothing good could come from this.

Nick placed his stuff in his bunk and sighed. Why did he even agree to this? This was going to be a living nightmare. He would either wind up killing Kevin or kissing him, both options he ended up dead so he was pretty much done for. He hoped Baylee cried the entire bus trip, served Howie right.

He hung around the bunk area for as long as he could before he figured he should at least talk to Kevin. Nick wondered through the bus and found Kevin sprawled out on the couch in the lounge. Nick plopped down on the plush chair beside the couch and focused his attention on the TV. He hated when Kevin had control of the remote.

“Are we really going to watch CNN all afternoon?” Nick asked sarcastically. Kevin rolled his eyes and tossed Nick the remote. Nick frowned seeing Kevin get mad. He hadn’t meant to upset him.

“I was only joking Kev. We can watch whatever you want.” Nick said placing the remote down on the coffee table and curling up in the chair. Great. He had already managed to make the older man mad and they had barely been on the road for fifteen minutes. Kevin looked at Nick and sighed. He hated upsetting the blonde when all he wanted to do was make him happy, and he could, given the chance. This was not going to be a fun bus ride.

“I had my body guard go and buy you some stuff to eat. Howie and I threw the other stuff out when you switched buses.” Kevin said stretching out on the couch. “Thanks Kev.” Nick said, his eyes still focused firmly on the television. Kevin smiled to himself. He knew how much Nick hated the news but here he was suffering through it because he thought that was what Kevin wanted. They sat in silence with only the television program humming softly between them.

“So this is pretty boring.” Kevin said after a long while looking over at Nick. Nick smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah, it’s really boring Kev.” The silence overtook them again making the tension rise in the room. Both men were desperately trying to keep their minds and emotions at ease but nothing seemed to be working well. Nick longed to get out of the chair and curl up on the couch with Kevin while Kevin longed to be in the chair.

“I’m really sorry about Kristen Kev. I don’t think I’ve told you that yet since you’ve been back.” Nick said softly. Kevin sighed and sat up on the couch. “It was for the best Nicky. My marriage was over a long time ago. We just couldn’t manage to let it go.” Nick looked over at Kevin and shook his head at the other man’s saddened face. He hated seeing Kevin in pain, looking so lost and all alone. Kevin ran his hands over his face and groaned as he saw Nick silently watching him from his place on the chair.

Kevin left the couch and went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water for himself and a can of coke for Nick. He walked back into the lounge and handed the coke to Nick. He opened his water bottle and took a long drink before falling back into the couch’s embrace. “How do you always do that?” Nick asked softly, holding the can in his hands. Kevin looked at him quizzically.

“What do you mean? How do I do what?”

“How do you know what I want or what I need most of the time before I even do?” Nick asked looking intently at the older man.

Kevin shrugged. “I don’t know. I just do. That’s my job to take care of you and to make sure everything’s ok. I’ve been talking care of you since you were twelve years old. Sometimes it’s hard to stop.” Kevin said softly.

“I’m not a little boy anymore Kev. I’m all grown up. When are you going to see that? Why do you continuously want to control me?” Nick asked coming to sit on the couch beside Kevin.

Kevin shook his head sadly. “I don’t want to control you. I just want to take care of you. I want to keep you safe, happy. I just want you to be alright. I don’t want anything to ever hurt you.” Kevin said looking up into Nick’s crystal clear blue eyes.

“Then why are you always hurting me Kev? Why does every time you turn away from me make me feel like my world is ending. How come every time I go to sleep I have to cry in loneliness because you’re not there next to me? Why did you leave me, for months, and make me feel like I was literally dying. Why is it that if you want to protect me so damn much you don’t open your eyes and see I’ve been standing in front of you for years waiting impatiently for you to love me half as much as I love you?” Nick said tears sliding slowly down his cheeks. Nick’s heart was beating a million miles a minute and he could feel himself begin to lose control. He prayed that he wasn’t imagining the look he saw in Kevin’s eyes and that he hadn’t just totally fucked up their friendship.

Kevin let out a choked sob and looked away. He felt the words Nick had said echoing in his mind. He couldn’t believe the words that had been spoken. He couldn’t handle all of this at once, it was just too much. There were too many emotions, too much hurt. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the notion that Nick could actually feel the same way.

“Look at me Kev.” Nick said softly suddenly very regretful of what he had just done.

Kevin shook his head rather forcefully and refused to look at the younger man seated in front of him. He kept his head bowed. Nick reached up and cupped Kevin’s face in his hand. “What’s the matter?” Nick asked gently pulling on Kevin’s face in an attempt to make him look up at him. Kevin turned with the guidance of Nick’s hand and his breath caught in his throat. Nick was absolutely beautiful. Kevin closed his eyes and leaned into Nick’s touch. Nick leaned in cupping the other side of Kevin’s face with his other hand. He smiled gently at Kevin before he leaned in and gently placed his lips on the other man’s.

Kevin exhaled slowly afraid to move for fear he would wake up from this beautiful dream. Kevin began to kiss him back softly at first but then allowed the kiss to deepen. Nick smiled into the kiss causing Kevin to smile as well. They pulled away and stared at each other quietly.

“I love you. “ Kevin said softly.
Nick smiled. “I love you too.”

Kevin shook his head, finally needing to get this all out before he lost his nerve. “No, I mean I really love you Nicky.” Nick’s smile widened. “I know. I really love you too. I’ve loved you for so long. I’ve just been waiting for you to stop seeing me as the little boy you needed to take care of and start seeing me as the man you could spend your life with.” Nick said softly, his hands still cupping Kevin’s face.

Kevin’s eyes filled with tears and he looked down trying to get them under control. He breathed heavily and tried to keep from crying but he couldn’t help it. Nick looked at him scared for a moment before gently urging the older man to speak.

“This is the reason why I left.” Kevin said trying to keep his tears under control.

Nick’s eyes went wide. “Wh..what do you mean Kev?” Nick stuttered pulling Kevin tightly against him.

Kevin took a deep breath before beginning. “Kristen found out about how I felt for you. She threatened to go public with the information. She wanted to ruin our lives because I had ruined hers. I couldn’t let her do that to you. None of this was your fault and you didn’t deserve any of it. I agreed to her terms and left to concentrate on our marriage. She thought if she had me all to herself she would be able to convince me to love her again. Once she realized that would never happen she went ballistic. I thought I would be stuck in that hell forever. Then I caught her cheating on me and I finally had the leverage I needed to file for divorce and get out before I lost my mind. She had no right to anything that I had. She violated the prenup and she got nothing. As soon as everything was final I packed my stuff and came crawling back. I hated being away from all of you. This is my life and I’m not going anywhere else again.” Kevin said wiping his eyes.

Nick looked at him shocked. “Why did you do all of that? Why didn’t you just tell me? All this time, all this pain and loneliness could have been avoided, all of it.” Nick whispered. Kevin kissed him gently.

“There is no use in getting all upset about it now. It’s done and over. All I want is you. We can move on together if that’s what you want.” Kevin said looking at Nick hopefully. Nick smiled and wiped eyes before wrapping his arms around Kevin. He kissed him gently and smiled against Kevin’s lips. “I want to be with you always.”