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AJ managed to reach his hotel room moments before his knees gave out and he sank to the living room floor. A loud crash echoed down the hallway as all of the luggage that AJ had been carrying went tumbling to the floor along with the exhausted man. Nick appeared in the doorway and began to laugh uncontrollably at the heap of man and suitcases all over the floor. He entered AJ's hotel room closing the door behind him.

"J, you have to calm down, where did you get all of your energy all of a sudden," he said laughing as he watched AJ scramble around on the floor stacking his suitcases. Nick pulled the rest of the suitcases off of AJ and pulled the older man to his feet. Nick wrapped his arms around AJ to steady him. AJ leaned into him, making Nick hold him closer; scared the man would fall back to the floor. Nick looked into AJ's eyes and watched the emotions play across his face. He swallowed hard and let AJ go trying to put distance between the two men. They were now in the third city and the tour was working out beautifully. Nick was finding that his feelings for the other man were beginning to get to be a little too much to deal with in their close proximity. AJ had been taking the sleeping pills every night for the past week giving him loads of energy and allowing him to fall into a dreamless sleep every night, leaving him more refreshed than he had felt for a long while.

"You want to hang out for awhile," Nick asked hoping AJ would at least consider it.

"Yeah, I'll meet you in your room," Nick nodded and bundled out of the room happily.

AJ had to chuckle at the sight. Nick had been great the last couple of days. He had barely left AJ's side for more than a few moments at a time, always letting him know where he was and when he would be back. AJ had never been more thankful for his friend. He has made it easier to be around Brian without trying.

AJ left his room and locked the door. He wandered down the hallway until he found Nick's room. He knocked and received no answer so he tried the handle and stepped inside. He found Nick passed out on the hotel bed. He was beautiful. His golden hair falling in his eyes made him look even more angelic than he did when he was awake. His lips were partially parted, his breathing heavy. AJ smiled as he watched the younger man snore lightly.

AJ curled up in the chair and watched Nick sleep for a few moments. He tried so hard to keep his thoughts straight but his emotions could not be controlled. He fought to keep his tears at bay as he curled up tighter in the oversized chair. He had never felt so alone before. Seeing Brian with Leighanne broke his heart a little more every time he saw them together. He just couldn't understand why Brian couldn't love him that same way. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he did not even see Nick sitting up on the bed.

"What's going on J?" Nick asked softly, startling him. "Don't lie to me; I know something's going on."

AJ blinked a couple of times before getting the courage to speak. He climbed out of the chair and sat beside Nick on the bed. "I thought you were asleep," AJ said sniffling before he broke into tears.

"I'm so alone Nicky," he managed to choke out before he collapsed into tears once again. He cried for all he was worth, while Nick folded him into his arms. Nick held him as close as he could, doing everything he knew to do to help sooth him. He just held him, rubbing his back and whispering gentle words in his ear. Nick had never been in the caregiver position before. Usually it was Kevin or someone soothing away his pain. He was on new ground and had no idea what to do to help his friend. He liked it though. It felt good to be needed for once instead of always being the one to need someone else.

AJ looked at Nick and smiled, trying to show the other man that he was calming down and beginning to feel better. Nick wiped the tears from AJ's eyes. He stared into the chocolate brown pools and ached from the hurt and pain he saw so deep in AJ's eyes.

He leaned in and caught AJ's bottom lip with his own and kissed him forcefully, but not enough to scare him away. AJ sat shocked for a moment before he responded, kissing Nick back with the same level of passion. A million thoughts ran through his head. He wasn't sure if he was kissing Nick because he felt something for him or if he just needed that close connection with someone else. He wasn't sure either why Nick had decided to kiss him.

They broke apart and stared at each other before Nick brushed his lips across AJ's cheek. The kiss had left both men flushed and wanting so much more. Nick was afraid of scaring AJ off and wasn't sure about trying anything with him when he knew something was going on, something he feared was large enough to tear them all apart.

"Are you tired," Nick asked after a few moments of silence. He took AJ's hand and pulled him down in the bed beside him. The two men turned and faced the wall not sure what else to do. Nick wrapped both arms securely around AJ and pulled him closely to him. AJ fell asleep almost instantly his body perfectly connected and aligned. For the first time, in a long time, AJ fell asleep without the aid of medication almost before ever lying down.

Nick lay still for hours after AJ had fallen asleep. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to kiss AJ like that. One minute he was looking into the eyes of his friend and the next he couldn't think of anything else besides kissing him. He was terrified he'd scared AJ and knew he should talk to him about it. He didn't know what to say however until he figured out his own feelings.

He hadn't thought of being with AJ much before. He had always known he was gay, that wasn't something he would have to learn to deal with quickly. He had had a crush on Kevin since he was twelve years old, but Kevin always saw him as the little kid that he had to look after and take care of. He hated it, but he has accepted that Kevin would never look at him twice years ago, and then when Kevin left, god, he couldn't even think about Kevin leaving without his heart breaking all over again. He thought he died the day Kevin said he was leaving.

His heart was still broken from that, he had just gotten really good at hiding it so no one else was any the wiser. Didn't make it hurt any less, didn't make him feel any better. He missed Kevin every day; there was nothing he could do to change that. Even thought Kevin never wanted it, Nick's heart would always belong first and foremost to Kevin, but did that mean that he couldn't have feelings for AJ?

He wasn't sure what to do, or what he felt, he just knew he was beyond confused and had nowhere to turn to get answers to his many questions. He wished things were simpler. He wished he knew what was terrorizing AJ, but he doubted AJ would open up without a fight. He wasn't sure how AJ felt or what had went though his head when they had kissed.

Nick sighed and snuggled into AJ more. AJ snored happily and continued to sleep. Nick had to smile, the man was adorable, even when he was sound asleep and snoring like a freight train. Maybe things would be easier to understand in the morning, he doubted it but one could hope right?