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It's been 5 months since me and Nathalie parted ways, though in my heart it feels like forever. I don't know what to do now; I tried calling her, but she blocked my number; I tried sending her letters, but I know she never reads them. What's the point in trying to get her to contact me? She wants nothing to do with me, and yet I'm desperate to talk to her...

I might as well give up; but my heart won't let me.

I lie awake and look up at the ceiling, my thoughts trailing back to that wonderful, enchanting woman. She completely changed my life in less than a year, and yet, I haven't been truthful with her from the start.

I can understand why she doesn't want to be around me anymore; she wants to be with someone that tells the truth in every word he utters. I don't deserve that woman, and at the same time, I don't deserve to be happy.

I hear soft footsteps clashing upon the carpeted floor then a knock on my bedroom door.

“Kevin? It's me...” It's Kristin; my 'wife'. I groan as I hear her needy voice calling out to me. I don't answer, for I have nothing to say to her or anyone else. My so-called friends cost me the one person that made me complete in a matter of days, and thanks to them, she doesn't even care if I'm alive or dead.

Again, I hear the door being lightly rapped and she calls me again. Defeated, I throw my body up and approach the door, opening it.
“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you, baby...is that so wrong?”

“I don't feel like talking right now, ok? I need to be alone.”

She walks up to me, placing her thin hands upon my nude chest. “You've been alone for weeks...I can help you take your mind off that slut.” Her hands traveled downward, and while still looking up at me she grasps my belt-buckle. “I'll make you forget all about her...if you'll let me...”

I push her away and cause her to stumble back a little.

“Kevin, what the hell?!”

“Stay away from me, ok? I'm in no mood!”

I let out an aggravated sigh and throw my t-shirt on and turn around; she's blocking the door.

“Move.” “Why can't you leave her alone? I'm your wife...I'm supposed to be there to love and cherish you...” Not wanting to come near her, I say, “That's just it; I DON'T want you to love me...because I don't lo--” she puts up her hands to silence me; “Don't say it...don't you DARE say you don't love me! I've respected you throughout all the years we've been married, the least you can do is show me the same!”

“You cannot be serious! Respect? You don't SHIT about respect!! The only thing you 'respect' is spending my money! You fell in 'love' with my image...NOT ME!” “That's not true, and you know it!”

“Just...get away from me...” “I can't do that, Kevin.” She throws her arms down, sighing.

“There was a time where I only cared for your money and your fame...but I've grown up since then; you've got to believe me.”

I just look at her with sheer disgust. I don't ever want to believe a word she says to me, because they're all lies. I don't want to be in the same universe with that woman, let alone the same room breathing the same air. I turn away from her crossing my arms, my eyes darted to the floor.

“You don't believe me, do you?”
Without even looking at her, I say, “No. I don't. I want you to leave me alone, Kristin.” “I can't do that...I have to be there for yo--”

I turn around sharply, looking her up and down; I was fumed. “That's just it! I don't need you around me! God! Every waking hour, you're around me! I can't even BREATHE when you're around, and it drives me nuts! For once, can't you just let me get my own space?”

I see her stand before the door, softly crying. I didn't give a damn, seeing as though everything I spat at her was the truth, and she's just putting on a show at this time; I know she doesn't care about me. I don't exist to her; I'm merely a meal ticket. No more.

“I....I refuse to let you go...”

“Tell that to the judge.” She's stunned. “Wh...what?”

“You heard what I said. When I said I don't want you around me, I meant that, so tomorrow? You and I? We're going on a little outing.”

“...an outing—what are you talking abo--”

“We're going to the courthouse tomorrow, Kris. I want a divorce.”

Frantically, she shakes her head, her tears rapidly falling. “N—no...I won't do this...”

“I'm afraid you have no other choice.”

She threw herself at me, she got on her knees, and pleaded with me to change my mind. I was solid as a rock. I didn't want anything to do with that bitch anymore; being around her literally made me sick to my stomach.

I look down at her and watch her stand on her knees, her eyes red and her mascara runny and smudged.

“Why are you doing this, Kevin...?” “Because...I made a horrible mistake when I married you; now I'm switching gears.” As I step over her, I approach the door, but she grabs onto my pant leg. “Please, don't do this to me! I love you!”

I look down at her, disgusted by the sight, but intrigued, for she deserves an Oscar for this role. “My mind's made up; I want out of this marriage. If you're not at the courthouse tomorrow, the proceedings will go on without you.” “Kevin, you can't do that! It's a two party system!”

The last words I say to her before I leave her alone a crying mess was this: “As far as I'm concerned, this marriage is at an end. Goodbye.”

And that was it; I was to be finally free from her money-hungry grasp, and I was to move on from this dilemma of being married to her another day.

But there was still the situation in trying to win Nathalie back; a stipulation that eats at my heart and soul because she doesn't want anything to do with me. What was I to do? I can't stand the fact that she wants nothing to do with me, because I refuse to believe it.

Deep down, Nathalie loves me despite the lies I threw her. I know I have to do something to win the love of my life back; and I have to do it fast.