“I'll be right back, guys,” he told the gang after getting out of the recliner heading for the door. “Where are you going? We have a press conference in an hour,” Howard blatantly said to him, not wanting him to be late. “D, can't you trust me? I said I'll be back.” after he leaves the hotel room, Howie flutters his hand at the door, without looking up fron his book.
I walk down a lonely road, surrounded by my thoughts; nothing else. I have no grand childhood memories, no childhood friends; no childhood. All my life, I believed I was put on earth to be cheated on, to be hurt...to never feel love.
Through my walking, I find myself at a beach; the sun was setting, and I see the oceanic waves crashing against the jagged rocks ahead. I stand there, watching the beauteous sight for the very last time. I thought everything through; I WAS here to be used as well as abused by family, women, and critics.
I threw myself towards the merciful limelight; deep down, I wanted to be popular, but not like this…not this way. Right now, I miss my life…the one life I never should have sacrificed for a pretty penny.
I slowly scoot ever closer to the ocean, the water tickling my feet and the wind coursing through me. My eyes were closed, and my mind shutting down every inane and regretful thought I or God may conjure up. The only thought was simply this; I don’t want to live anymore.
I looked around to see anyone around me as I began the proper steps in ending my ‘life’; all I saw was a car parked far in a distance in the sand and I heard the song Desert Rose surrounding the city air.
My legs and feet are surrounded with water, as is my torso…then my whole body. I dive all the way in, sighing against the feel of the summer waters washing me. I knew I wasn’t going to enjoy it, for I had a job to do.
With my back to the water and my eyes closed again, I slowly feel the water cover my clothed body completely and wash me away from shore. The only sounds that resonated in my ears were the seagulls crying, and the waves crashing upon rocks and sand; the sound started to disperse dramatically.
I was on my way out, I didn’t know where I was going after this; I just hoped that God would forgive my actions. I don’t feel like playing cards and sipping tea with Lucifer.
Everything started to go black now; my job was almost complete until…
“Hang on! Just hang on, mister!!”
I…I heard someone screaming in my unconscious state; who disturbed my peaceful death? My eyes were still shut to the world as I’m being pulled out from the angry ocean to the dry shore sands.
My chest felt compressed and my lips…my lips, sated by a someone elses…a woman… I wouldn’t dare call it our first kiss due to the circumstances, but…it was in a way.
She saved me when I thought no one else gave a damn about me. Slowly I open my eyes and see a half drenched woman hover over my weakened body. I felt her hands graze the sides of my face and held them there for quite some time. If I had the urge to hold her where she straddled me and never let go, I would, but I was too loopy to do anything else.
I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell this woman how I came about in the sea; I had to think of a plan B and fast…
“So…instead of telling you what really happened, I gave you that lie…I’m so very sorry, Nat…”
“You….were gonna kill yourself…because you thought no one loved you?” I nod and I turn away but she holds my arm in her grip. “Kevin…I am…SO GLAD you didn’t, or I would have NEVER found you that night. And yes, there are people on this Godforsaken planet that loves you; you just have to—“ “Look for them…” I intercepted her last quote, but she didn’t mind. “And I’ve found her.”
I heard an inward giggle come from her which made me do the same. “Yes, you have,” she told me with a bright smile. “Kevin, you no longer have to worry about anyone disliking you, or simply hating you…what should be important…is that I love you. Ok?” she just knows the right words to say to make a man feel special, and above all strong.
The only thing I could do at the moment was hold her close to me again. “Thank you, Nathalie…for being a true friend…” I try to fight back my tears, but they quickly slide down my face. “And my true love.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry again for the lateness; it's been real hectic here and I haven't had the time to update anything. So, here's the next chapter.
