I walked into the kitchen after kevin and nick were going at it. I pulled something out of the freezer when AJ had come up behind me.
"Hey AJ."
"Hey, I came in here to talk to you. Do you have a second?" "Yea, what is this about?"
We sat down at the table. And AJ proceeded with his questions.
"So you really love nick?"
"Yea, he's amazing. He's more amazing than what i thought he would be."
"Well, Im warning you be careful with him."
"Oh, well i never would hurt him or do anything like that to him."
"No, i am give you the warning. Nick attends to be..well.. he's amazing at first then things attend to happen. He just doesn't know love. He's a dreamer in all of it. He attends to hurt so he hurts others. Us guys dont get affected by it because we handle him but the girls hes always with either are stuck up or if they truly love him...he pushes away."
"So your saying Nick doesn't know how to love?"
"No Im saying that i dont think nick knows love and with the exception that he doesn't know how. Just dont say i love you. You'll never hear it from him. At least i dont think any of us guys here him say it."
"Oh. Ok. So what do i do then?"
"Just be with him. Let the road take you where you go and hey, i am always here if you need me. ALWAYS."
~~~~~~~~~
Feb. 2009
With the conversation still ringing in my ear when nick dropped me off. I truly felt shattered. It was like both of us know what the hurt is but we cant take our bad relationships back and make ours better. I felt bad. I watched him drive away with a smile on his face. This told me that this would be our beginning of the end. AJ said he was a dreamer of love. Well, in that case i was a dreamer myself. It made us one at the thought of that. I wouldn't know what was in store for us and at this time i didnt care. Over the next few monthes i didnt care. I was with him and i was in love with him. I thought that was enough for us. I was wrong. I wrote a journal entry of May of 2008. It described our first date. I noticed how much in love he was. It was written in his smile and in those eyes. Now i just see my dreamer gone in the shadows somewhere. AJ was right when that conversation happen. Nick hurts those who love and care for him. He pushed me away also. But i never saw who he would push me too as in always being there. Even when that person was already in love with someone else, they would take the time to listen to me. I only wanted him to see that.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Haylee & AJ's intense convo... this is the chapter where everything hits the fan. haylee's point of view journel entry ~~~~ Enjoy
