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RACHEL’s POV

I cried as soon as AJ and Alexis were out of sight. I walked back to my table and cried again. I had been crying for good twenty minutes but it felt like an eternity. I could feel my eyes were swollen and my make up smeared. I looked at Alexis' picture on the left side of my table, it was taken one year ago. I touched the picture frame and smiled, now my little boy's wish has finally come true, he was with his father. He has waited for so long and he deserved to be happy. But would it be possible? For them to be happy? AJ would have to leave sooner, the boys will start another tour in a month. What would happen to Alexis? It would break his heart to see his father go again but I would never allow AJ to bring Alexis with him on tour and expose him to his crazy life. They aren't a family how would I tell Alexis that without hurting him? For the first time I regret making up those lies, my plan has back fired. I almost jumped out of my chair when I heard someone cleared his throat. I didn't hear the door opened, I looked up and saw Nick smiling with amusement on his eyes.

"Last time I checked you weren't crazy yet."

"N-I-C-K-Y!!!" I ran towards him and hugged him tight. I felt so good to see a friend at this moment.

"Hey! You don't have to shout." He laughed and hugged me back "So, AJ's been here, huh?" He asked in a low voice while stroking my hair.

I nodded and cried harder on my big brother’s shoulder. I never felt this safe.

"Easy, sweetheart."

I hugged him tighter, I didn’t want to let go. But Nick pushed me slowly and looked at me. He wiped my tears.

"Fix yourself, angel, Brian and Leighanne will be here in 5 minutes. I don't want them to see you like this."

"I'm not your angel anymore" I slowly shook my head.

"Yes, you are. You'd always be." The sincerity on his voice made me cried harder

"Aren't you mad at me for leaving you guys without saying goodbye?"

"No." He shook his head and wrapped his arms around me "I know there must be reasons, you just have to do what you have to do."

"You know the truth?”

"No, Angel. But I know you love AJ so much, you love us so you wouldn't leave us for no reason at all. I knew time will come that we will finally understand you. And I believe that time is right now so go ahead and fix yourself."

Brian and Leighanne were already sitting in the couch when I went out of the bath room. Brian stared at me and I knew I couldn’t fool him. With just one look he knew I'd been crying. He stood up and hugged me.

"What happened?" He asked with so much care with his voice. It made me feel more guilty and stupid for letting these people down.

"Where's Nick?" I asked instead of answering his question.

"He went to the bakeshop," Leighanne pointed at the bakeshop across the street. "He said he's hungry." Leighanne smiled

"He's always hungry." Brian complained.
Nick went back with a box of chocolate cake and cans of soda. I sliced the cake, put in the plate and handed one to each of them.

"So let's get this over with." Nick finally said after having a bite

"Get over what?" I asked nervously.

"Well, we wanna know what happened, why did you left four years ago and why you didn't come back." Brian said.

I stared at the cake I was holding for a moment. I didn’t know if I should tell everyone what happened, I know these guys were just trying to help me, and not invading my privacy or whatsoever. We knew how stubborn AJ could be and if I want to fix the problem I’ll be needing all the help I could get from these guys, my brothers.

I used to work for them, I was the assistant of the boys' tour accountant. I was a huge fan of the boys, that was the reason why I enjoyed my job so much. Nick was like my big brother, it all started when we had lunch together at one of the hotels. Nick had his lunch earlier than the other boys and I met him at a restaurant. He recognized me and asked if he could share table with me, I said yes and our amazing friendship began. Nick saw Leslie in me since we were around the same age. He told me that I reminded him of Leslie. Nick did to me the things he couldn't do to Leslie anymore, she got married the year we met and now lives in Canada with her husband. Nick only see her everytime BSB has a concert there. Nick missed Leslie a lot so he felt like he was taking care of Leslie when he was taking care of me.

Then there's Brian, I got close to him through Nick. He was like a big brother to me, too. He was always protecting me. I was their little angel. I remembered how AJ must asked their permission first before he could take me out on a date. My lips formed a half smile.

"I had to leave so AJ can continue working on his solo album, at least that's what Heather said to me" I looked at Nick, then I turned to Brian "I came back two weeks after.. in your Atlanta concert."

“What's Heather gotta do with this?" Nick asked frowning, he looked at Brian. Heather was their tour manager, Jen was only her assistant. She can be a bitch sometimes and they were all aware that she was so in love with AJ.

"And you came back?" Brian added

"Heather talked to me two days before I left. She said AJ has to record two more songs and he's done with his album, they were already planning for the release and the promotional tour. She said Alex was very excited and can't wait for the release of his album. She showed me dozens of letter from AJ's fans club worldwide. There were a lot of things they said against me. They didn’t want me for AJ because I was not famous, beautiful, etc. I was just a girl working for the Backstreet Boys, they wanted someone better than me for AJ."

I paused for a moment, I felt like my heart was breaking into million pieces again.

"That's why you left? Because AJ's fans doesn't approve of you?" Brian said, he sounded angry.
I saw Leighanne reached for Brian's hand and squeezed it gently. Brian turned to Leighanne, she slowly shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Brian finally said and sighed.

"There were threats on those letter, too. They said they won't support AJ's solo album and career unless he broke up with me and find another girlfriend."

I looked down and continued playing with the cake I was holding. I was not expecting everyone to understood me or my decision. I did what I thought was best for AJ.

"What?! That's impossible." Nick stood up.

"Please sit down." I told Nick in a pleading voice.

I knew I had to make Nick calm down so he could control his temper. Or he would be running back to their house and call heather right away, he was always defending her even from AJ. I heard Nick sighed heavily and sat down.

I continued "Heather begged me, she said we only have to pretend that AJ and I already broke up until the promotional tour was over then we can get back together again. It sounded so easy so I agreed. It was just a couple of months, I had to make some sacrifice for AJ. I know how important that album was for him. I won't just sit around and watch AJ's dreams fade away right before his eyes just because of me. But there was a problem, we can't tell AJ because he won't agree to the plan."

"He'd rather lose his dreams than to lose you" Leighanne said

"Exactly. I had to make those lies, that I needed some time and space to think about our relationship. I had to resigned too so we won't have communication at all. I had to hurt him so he'll continue making his dreams come true." I turned to Brian "Two weeks after I left I found out I was two months pregnant. I decided AJ has to know, to hell with everything, I have to tell him. I lost my mobile phone that night I left the hotel. I sold my laptop so I can have extra money when I came home, so I don't know any of your phone numbers or e-mail address, so I have to do it personally I went to your Atlanta concert."

"Angel, we didn't know about that." Nick sat beside me and put his arms around my shoulder

"You can ask Q, he was there. He was the one assigned at the gate of the backstage. Of course he can't let me in because I didn't have any Backstreet backstage pass, so I asked him if he could just send someone to tell AJ I was there and I wanted to talk to him. Heather passed by, I don’t trust her but the show was about to start in ten or fifteen minutes so I asked her if she could tell AJ. She came back after few minutes and said AJ doesn't want to see me and he doesn't want to talk to me and wanted me to go. I completely understand what AJ feels and why he doesn't want to see me anymore. I told Q it was really important, so Q handed me a piece of paper and pen from his pocket he told me to write down my message and he'd give it to AJ."

I stopped and looked at Nick, my eyes were starting to well with tears again. Nick smiled a bit and encouraged me to go on. "After a few minutes just when the show was about to start, I received a text message on my new phone, I wrote down my number on that note. It was from AJ."

I reached for my phone in my pocket, looked for that message in my inbox and handed it to Nick.

I don't want to fucking see you ever again. And I don't believe that child is mine or if you are really pregnant. Get the hell out of my life!!!

Nick handed the phone to Brian and Leighanne, he turned to me, wiped my tears and kissed my forehead.

"Angel, AJ can't say those things to you, he loves you so much."

"I didn't believe it at first either, so I asked Q if that was AJ's number. Q checked it on his phone twice, it was his number. It was from him." I was trying so hard not to break down.

"Why didn't you looked for us? We might have helped you." Brian said while returning the phone to me.

"The show started after that, I was hurting so bad so I just left. Now, I don't understand why he was so mad at me."

"Angel, I don't think AJ knew anything about what happened in Atlanta that night you came back. For four years he did nothing but looked for you."

"That's why he's mad. Because you left him 4 years ago and he thinks you kept Alexis from him." Brian explained

"But don't worry, angel, everything will be alright. We can fix this one we will help you."

All I could do was nod and hoped Nick was right. Everything would be fine.