It had been about a quarter to four, only minutes after she had clocked in that morning, when they had been brought in; a man and a woman, both victims of an automobile accident that had occurred just a mile south of the hospital. She had thought nothing of it when she first caught a glimpse of him as they rushed him into a vacant emergency room, other that the fact that sometimes these things happen. They shouldn't, no one ever means for them to, but they do. Her eyes locked onto the woman, lying, unidentifiably on the gurney covered in blood, looking so helpless.
She tried her best not to flinch at the sight, she was still fairly new to the medical staff there and though she was quickly becoming accustomed to such scenes, it still left an impact of sorts on her.
Celine had to, with much effort, will herself away and occupy her mind on her current tasks at hand, after all she still had a job to do, add on, she didn't wish her colleges to think she was inept at handling those types of situations. She'd worked so hard for this and it had taken so long to reach the place she was at now and she'd be damned if her employment became questionable. Nor could she bear the humiliation of the constant teasing she would have to endure the next couple of weeks for not being able to keep her lunch down at the sight of a bloody mess.
She moved on and kept busy but the image of the woman's cherry streaked blonde hair was deeply rooted in her thoughts and kept resurfacing throughout the length of her shift. She couldn't understand why it affected her they way she did, this woman with no name, at least not to her. The more she urged herself not to think about it, the more determined and defined the image became.
It was only upon learning the identity of the man that has been ushered through the hallways, unconscious that Celine was truly affected by the circumstances that were currently present. A wretched feeling of despair began to burrow into the pit of her.
"Nick Carter." She heard his name whispered from one nurse to the other.
"Isn't that one of those..."
Celine blinked hard trying to keep that old salty liquid at bay. Those were two names she never expected to hear again, and not especially like this. It felt almost as if she had been punched in the gut. She glued her ear to the conversation taking place no more than four feet away from her, trying to make out every detail, every syllable, anything that could in any way inform her of the severity of his present condition.
"How's the girl?" One woman asked.
"Unresponsive. I think. They're not so certain that she's going to make it."
"Oh, poor girl."
"Yeah but you know you gotta feel for the family."
"What's going to happen to him?"
Her breathing increased at a rapid rate, waiting to hear the other woman's response. If she didn't answer soon she was going to go mad, she could already feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack forming.
"I don't know, but it looks pretty serious."
"No." Not Nick, no this can't be . It can't be. Please don't let it be. She repeatedly chanted to herself in the confines of her own mind. She leaned into the wall to keep herself from collapsing. Her eyes shut tight and she fought hard to regulate her breathing.
"Are you okay?" One of the gossiping nurses standing nearby asked. They rushed to her aid before she had been able to make contact with the ground.
When she opened her eyes Celine realized she was lying on one of the hospital's beds. She sat up slowly noting the figure standing in front of her wearing a concerned look.
"Ana?" She asked. "How-what..." She paused before making the inquiry she had been near to making of what happened. What happened? She knew what had happened. She had fainted, that's what happened. "How long have I been out?" Now that was a question worth voicing.
"Not long, just a few mintues. So how was your little nap? Must be nice to take a little siesta. I wish I could." She lightly teased. "Are you okay?" The troubled look on her face returned.
It took a few seconds for her to process the question."Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Everything's fine."
"Celine, you fainted in the middle of the hall and you're telling me everything's fine. Really? You should take a look at yourself in the mirror, you look like crap."
"I'm fine, really, I am." She repeated.
Ana sighed and gave her a hard doubtful look. "You know if there was anything wrong, you could tell me you know that right?"
Celine nodded but said not a word as the middle aged woman stared her down, as if she was waiting for her to break down and spill all, but the young nurse would not give in so easily. She maintained her opposition and kept her troubles to herself.
"Okay, I'm going to rule this was as fatigue this time. You have been working a double. Hey-what time is it?" Her question directed more towards herself than to Celine. "What time did you come in?"
"About three-thirty."
"Oh! Well no wonder. Have you had lunch, er, breakfast yet, or whatever? Have you eaten yet?"
"No."
"Well why the hell not? Celine you've been here for seven hours and you haven't had anything to eat. Are you trying to starve yourself? Do you have a weight complex?"
Celine chuckled. "No. I don't. I'm very comfortable with my weight."
Ana crossed her arms and studied the woman sitting on the edge of the bed. Her head bounced up and down as if she had discovered the answer to one of the greatest mysteries of all time. "You trying to win employee of the month?"
Celine let out a laugh that contaminated the entire room. "No."
"That's it isn't it? I'm on to you missy." She egged on.
"Look, Celine, a little piece of advice the last thing you need is to be over exerting yourself. Trust me, it's a good job, good pay and all, but it's not that good. Now go on and get yourself something to eat. A nurse isn't much use if she's famished."
Celine scolded herself on her way to the cafeteria. How could she have allowed such a display, collapsing in front of everybody like that. Sure she accepted that Nick being admitted there was difficult for her to grasp but she felt that she could have, or at least, should have been stronger. How was fainting going to help matters, or maybe Ana had been right. Maybe she was over working herself, perhaps it had been a result of her depriving her body of nourishment, but she had been so entranced by the poor girl, and preoccupied with keeping herself from thinking of her, that the only thing she did manage to forget was to feed herself.
He had been a big part of her life and he had meant a great deal to her, but their lives had somehow, somewhere shifted. They had reached a fork in the middle of the road and one chose one path while the other was forced to take the opposite, leading them to travel different journeys alone.
And now, after so many years of separation, mistakes, and broken dreams, he was here, after much self convincing that she would never again see his face, he was here in this very building. Having him so close to her again and not being able to know how he was was driving her nuts. She wanted nothing more than to run to his side and ascertain that he would be fine.
"A penny for your thoughts." The familiar voice said.
"Hey Ana." She looked up at her and smiled.
"I was just leaving for the day and thought I'd come down to see how you were doing."
Celine highly doubted the truthfulness of that statement. She was certain that the true underlying meaning was something other than it appeared to be. See how you were doing; translation; I just wanted to make sure you got something to eat.
And the frown on her face when her eyes studied the barely touched plate confirmed it. She shook her head in disappointing disproval.
"Celine, you haven't even touched your food."
"Yes I have." She poked around at her rice and chicken."
"No, ma'am, you've only picked at it."
Celine was tempted to spit out a smart comment but didn't bother. She knew Ana was being serious and was genuinely concern; all it would do was prolong the conversation.
"I'm just not that hungry." Ana's stare bore into her. "I'm just a little tired, that's all."
She was fully aware that the woman only meant well but this was something that she just didn't deem appropriate to share with a co-worker.
"You do look exhausted, maybe you should be going home as well. They got everything under control now, the rush is over. Just finish eating and get your scrawny booty out of here."
"Okay." She smiled back. "Thanks."
Ana raise a questioning eyebrow. "For?"
"For everything; the concern and the advice; just everything. You've been nothing but kind to me since I started. Thank you."
"Awe, you're welcome honey; now get some rest, okay. I'll see you around."
She trashed the rest of her uneaten lunch. There was no way she was going to be able to stomach the remainder of it, not it the state she was in. She headed out of the lunch room and straight back to gather her belongings but before she could leave for the day, there was one last thing she needed to do. And she was dreading it, but it was the only thing that would be able to ease her mind. At least she prayed it would.
Nervously, Celine made her way down the hall. Each step slower than the previous. Her heart beat faster the closer she came to his room with her hand resting against her chest, clutching to a pleading hope that her worries would be subdued. She close her eyes and swallowed her fears down in one big gulp as she opened the door.
His eyes were closed, still in a deep sleep, and even though he looked peaceful, Celine gasped when she saw him for the first time in years.
"Oh Nick." She cried softly.
Hesitantly inching her way to his side, hoping she wouldn't wake him. She just needed to get near him, to touch him. In some strange way she felt that if she could do so, if she could feel him, it would be somehow reassuring, more to herself than to him.
Gently, she ran her fingers against his hand and quickly realized that she had just made a big mistake. That one slight touch didn't give her the relief she had expected. Instead it made her only want to crawl into his bed and hold him in her arms and make everything go away.
Nick's eyes fluttered. He could barely make out the figure standing beside him but he did make out through his blurred vision that it was a female and she was touching him. Why was she touching him. Who was she? He blinked hard twice, trying to clear his sight.
"Ce-Celine?" He whispered. No. It couldn't be here. He was just imaging things. Seeing her again when she clearly wasn't there, like so many times before. But they had all been nothing more than mirages.
"Yes, Nick. It's me, I'm here." She had wanted to run when he woke up but she'd already been made. What point was there in running now.
"Celine!" He tried to sit up but he was crippled by pain. "Ouch. Fuck."
"Shh, shh, don't try to move Nick, just lie down. Nick do you know where you are?"
He took a look around and nodded.
"Do you remember what happened?"
"I, uh, I was driving and...there was a car...and..and we crashed." AS he spoke the words it came back to him. "Where is she? Celine. Where is she? Is she-is she okay?"
He looked at her with pleading eyes.
She wanted nothing more than to tell him what he wanted to hear. "I don't know Nick. She's in ICU. "
Technically, she was being truthful. She really didn't have an idea of what was going on, all she knew was what she had heard earlier, and that was a bit of information that she'd rather keep to herself. He'd just regain consciousness after a horrible incident that could have cost him his life, last thing she wanted to do was make the whole ordeal more traumatic. No, he had enough on his plate right now.
He faced her with an intense expression, like he was staring her down, trying to read the truth. He could tell she was nervous, and he shared that emotion with her, though he was pretty certain it was not for mutual reasons. He observed every detail about her; the honey blonde hair pulled up that accentuated her features, the crystal blue eyes that he once lived in. The careless thought of the past made him cringe. It was not a place he wanted to go back to, not a subject he wanted his brain to process at the moment. He didn't care to see her but for the time being he had no choice. He assessed from her attire that she worked there and figured he'd get further if he played nice.
"You'd tell me right?" He looked at her through the bruises. "If you knew...I have to know that she's okay. You'd tell me, or would you lie to me?" His last comment came out a little more calloused then he had intended it to be.
Celine felt the sting of the stab at her but she couldn't blame him even if she had wanted to, nor did she wish to dignify it with a direct answer.
"Um, I'll just go get the doctor, he'll be able to answer your questions better."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the new chapter, hope you like it.
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks for the wonderful reviews :) They keep me motivated.
