Nick groaned in his sleep as he turned over in bed expecting his arm to find Ashley’s waist, and pull her closer for warmth. His hand instead found the equally cold sheets. He stirred slightly, blinking his eyes open just a bit. The curtains were still drawn tightly shut, but there was a low glowing light radiating from the corner of the room. He already knew what the light was. He sighed, willing himself awake.
“Babe.” He said groggily, hoping he could convince her to come back to bed before he was fully awake. “You’re gonna drive yourself crazy reading all that crap.”
He could hear her stifle her tears with a small sniffle as she closed the laptop slightly, the light now casing her face in a dark shadow.
“Come back to bed, please?” he pleaded once more.
She shut the laptop and placed it down. In the dark he could hear her cross the room, back towards him. She climbed back into the bed and he met her with a tight embrace as she settled herself into his arms. He kissed her gently as he began stroking her hair and humming lightly, hoping to relax her enough to sleep a bit more.
Things had been this way for the past three days. He had hoped that it would be different this time, that maybe since fans knew Ashley so well news of their budding relationship would bring happy congratulations rather then negative backlash. But it seemed that was just wishful thinking. Within hours of the news spreading blogs and fan sites had exploded with a slew of expletives and hurtful name-calling. He didn’t understand why it had to be this way. Why couldn’t people just be happy for them? It didn’t hurt much hearing what people had to say about him, he had become numb to it long ago, but she wouldn’t stop looking at it. She faked a smile around everyone else, but every time she thought she was alone she broke into tears. He blamed himself for it all, of course, regardless of everyone’s support, saying unfortunately it was a downside to the business. But he didn’t believe it. It was always so much worse for all of his girlfriends. On top of that he also felt guilty for making unneeded tension between Ashley and AJ. If he hadn’t been so careless and impassioned the other night, maybe they could have kept their relationship a secret for a bit longer and avoided the arguments that came from it. Although he couldn’t do anything about the fans he knew if he could do one thing it was get Ashley and AJ on good terms again. Besides, he knew that what she really needed right now was his support and guidance. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, AJ was right. Nick didn’t know all that much about Ashley’s past, not enough to really help her through this tough time at least. He yawned as he felt Ashley’s breathing steady against his chest. She had fallen back asleep, thankfully. Turning off his thoughts he pulled her in a bit closer and closed his eyes, drifting back into a deep sleep.
Ashley’s eyes slowly fluttered open as a thin beam of light danced on the sheets as the air conditioner moved the curtain back and forth, She stretched and turned over as she heard the shower turn off in the bathroom. After a few moments Nick emerged from the bathroom in boxers and an undershirt, his towel draped around his neck as his hair still dripped slightly.
“Good morning sleeping beauty.” He flashed a smile and leaned over the bed, greeting her with a kiss before shaking his head, as a dog would, splashing her with water.
“Nick!” she squealed with a laugh, pushing him away.
“Sleep good?”
“Mm hmm.” She said sitting up behind him, resting her arms on his shoulders and leaning her head against his back as he sat down on the bed. “I had a great dream.”
“Oh yea? What was it about?”
“You’ll think it’s silly.” She said with a shy smile.
“No I won’t, promise.” He smiled turning his face towards hers.
“You weren’t on tour anymore and me and you just took a trip somewhere. I have no idea where we were, but it was really pretty and it was just the two of us. Nice and peaceful, where no one could bug us and it was incredible.” She smiled thinking back to how happy they were in her dream. Not that she wasn’t happy right here and now, but the past few days had been a lot harder on her then she anticipated. She thought she had escaped the name calling and bullying when she finished high school, but apparently she wasn’t so lucky.
“That does sound nice.” Nick smiled back at her and turned wrapping his arm around her waist. “We could do that, you know?”
“Run away together to a deserted island?” she laughed.
“Well no,” he laughed. “I mean take a trip, get away from it all for a little.”
“How? You’re working right now.” She reminded him.
“Well duh, not like right this second.” He laughed. “But we’re done in the states soon and we have some time before we head over to Europe, or even after that, before you start school.”
“Really?” she said with excitement.
“Yea, it would be fun.” He kissed her, enjoying the genuine smile on her face. “We could go to Catalina or Palm Springs or even out on my boat in the keys, what ever you want.”
“That would be perfect.” She smiled and kissed him before getting up from the bed. “How long do I have until we head over to the venue?”
“Half an hour.” He said checking the clock and grabbing her waist, pulling her closer with a smirk as he began kissing her neck.
“I need to shower.” She laughed, pushing him away slightly, knowing what he wanted. “Nick.” She giggled as he pulled her closer and continued kissing her neck and collar bone, then back up to her lips. “I…really…need…to…shower…” she said in between kisses, fighting her own urges to abandon her shower and continue fooling around for a bit more.
It was a little too easy to get lost in his kisses and she knew this was a loosing battle. Nick grinned as he felt her relax into his arms and give in to his kisses.
“Awake?” came Kevin’s voice from the other side of the door, accompanied by a few loud knocks. The sudden interruption snapped Ashley from her trance. She took the moment to regain her right mind and slip out of Nick’s embrace before they got caught up again.
The sudden knocking jolted Nick’s train of focus and he felt Ashley slip from his arms. He groaned as his head fell back onto the bed and he let out a frustrated sigh as Kevin knocked once more.
“Yes.” He said loud enough to be heard, silently cursing Kevin’s impeccable timing as he heard the water turn on in the bathroom. He signed as he got up from the bed to get dressed and ordered them a small breakfast.
An hour later they were at the venue and the boys were preparing for sound check. Nick walked into the dressing room and saw AJ off to the side on a phone call. As he hung up Nick made his way over.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Shoot.” AJ said putting his phone to the side.
“I was wondering if you were planning on trying to talk to Ashley any time soon?” he said, hoping that by taking the bull by the horns he wasn’t stepping out of place again.
“Ashley’s stubborn. I can’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk to me, and since she’s barely said more then a hello in the past couple of days I don’t think she’s quite ready yet.” AJ sighed. It was killing him that they hadn’t patched things up yet, but he wanted to give her the space she needed.
“But I really think that she could use you right now. She hasn’t been herself and I’m running out of things to try. You know her better, maybe you can get through to her and get her to forget everything that she’s been hearing.”
“She’ll be fine, she’s tough. It will take her a little while to come around to it, but she’ll ignore it soon enough.”
“Can I be honest? And I promise you can punch me if I’m really over stepping again, but I think that she’d feel a lot better about what other people are saying if she knew you were on our side.” Nick said.
“She doesn’t care what I think.” AJ said through a long sigh.
“You know that’s a crock of shit, she cares about your opinion more then anything else and you know it.”
“I just don’t think it will make much difference.”
“Won’t know until you try.” Nick shrugged as they got the signal that the fans were being brought in and seated, which gave them about ten more minutes.
AJ sighed as Nick walked off. As much as he hated to admit it, Nick was right. He knew Ashley wouldn’t be happy until she knew that he was on their side. But was he? He still wasn’t fully sure, but what he did know is that he loved his sister and wanted her to be happy. And right now she was far from it, and he could change that. His mind was made up, and he knew he had to talk to her. He didn’t want to wait until after the show, he had to try and patch things up now or he wouldn’t be able to focus. He spotted Ashley at the food table making a sandwich and came up beside her.
“Hey.” He said tentatively. He knew just by looking at her that she was hurting, even if she wouldn’t admit it, and he wanted to make things better for her.
“Hey.” She gave him a slight smile, letting him know the dust had settled. She knew he didn’t mean what he had said to her, and she didn’t have the strength to be angry with him anymore.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
“Sure.” She shrugged and grabbed a drink, following him to a small couch in the corner.
“Look I…” he said and paused a moment.
“I’m sorry.” They both said at the same time, then laughed slightly.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” AJ shook his head.
“Yes I do. I made you a promise and I broke it. That and I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder all week.”
“I just wanted you to avoid exactly what’s happening now. Sometimes some of the fans can take things a little too far.” He sighed. “How are you handling all of this?”
“I’m not.” She sighed, trying to blink back the tears that were threatening to fall. “It sucks. I wish I could make them see that we’re both really happy, but I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and see if it blows over. It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before, I just always thought this place was my safe place, you know?”
“But you shouldn’t have to deal with this. You’re entitled to be happy.”
“People will be people Alex, that’s just the way it goes. In all honesty the only opinion I care about is yours…I need to know that you’re ok with this, and I need your support.”
“Ash, I love you, you know that. I want you to be happy and you know that I’m here for you no matter what.”
“But you didn’t say that you’re ok with this. Are you?” She tried to read his face, rather then hear what he had to say; he always wore his emotions on his face.
“I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve been asking myself that question for the past couple of days, and I’m still not one hundred percent sure.”
“Alex…” she sighed.
“Let me finish.” He said putting up a hand to stop her from interrupting. “What I am sure of is that Nick genuinely cares about you, and that means a lot in my book. It’s going to take me a while to get used to it, but I am on your side, and I promise to prove that to you.”
“Thank you.” She said sincerely and hugged him tightly.
“Now do me a favor and go out and watch sound check.”
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” She sighed. “I think it’d be best if I just hung out back here.”
“Please just go out there? No one will give you a hard time.”
“Fine.” She said reluctantly and made her way out to the seats. She took a seat several rows back and slouched down waiting for the sound check to begin.
AJ waiting until Ashley was gone and walked over to their stage manager to ask for a mic. They still had a few minutes before the sound check started and he wanted to make use of that time. He signaled the others to stay back as he walked out onto the stage. The small crowd cheered and clapped as he signaled the sound tech to turn up his microphone. He pulled a stool to the edge of the stage and took a seat asking everyone to quiet down. Ashley looked on in question, wondering what he was doing.
“Hey guys.” AJ greeted the crowd. “Before the rest of the guys join me up here I have a favor to ask.” The crowd whispered a bit to each other before he continued. “How many of you can video?” he asked.
No one responded. “I know it’s not allowed, no worries I wont let them take your cameras away, I just need you to help me out with something.” This time six people raised their hands.
“Great. I have something very important to address and I need you guys with video to make sure this gets up all over the Internet. We need to make sure every fan see’s this, can you make that happen?” They all said a simultaneous enthusiastic yes, excited to be let in on something apparently very important.
“Alright, ready?” he asked and they nodded as the held their cameras on him.
“Ok so you all know we always say that we have the greatest fans in the entire universe, and we honestly believe that we do, but in the past few days I hate to say that I’ve been very disappointed with some of you. I never find myself saying that, and it honestly upsets me that I have to even take it this far.
I’m sure by now everyone has seen all of the hateful things that have been said about my sister all across the Internet. I need that to come to a stop right now. I don’t think people realize how much words can hurt, but they do. And they don’t just hurt Ashley. They hurt me, they hurt my family, they hurt the other guys, and they hurt Nick. You’re supposed to be fans, fans are supposed to love and support not spread hateful rumors that hurt. If you love Nick and the rest of us as much as you say you do then you’ll stop with all this crap and get back to what really matters, the music. We want to put on amazing shows for you guys every night and we want to put out music that you love, but we’re still just regular people when the lights go down, and we deserve to be happy too.
Now before this causes even more drama I will say I love all our fans more then anything, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you. I know that it’s not the majority of you doing these things, and I know most of you feel the same way I do, but I need you all to ban together and help me try and put an end to all this hate that’s being spread. I know that if anyone can make it happen it’s you guys, the fans, cuz you’re all pretty kick ass.” The group cheered as he finished.
“Thanks for helping me out guys, please send this message to everyone you know, we all have to work together to make all the hate stop. You guys are amazing, and we’ll be out in a couple minutes to really get this party started.” He said as he hoped off his stool and walked back off the stage.
“Thanks man, that meant a lot.” Nick said patting him on the back.
“Its something I’ve needed to vent for a long time, besides I figure even if it doesn’t work it will at least take some of the heat off of you guys for a bit.” He shrugged.
“This just in, A.J. McLean hates on fans.” Nick laughed.
“God, don’t give them any ideas.” He shook his head laughing, hoping that his better intentions wouldn’t make matters worse, but better. “Let’s just hope the point get across.”
“Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure I speak for the two of us when I say it really does mean a lot that you did that.” Nick said sincerely. “But better you then me…” he joked and gave AJ a playful shove before taking his mic from the stage director and running out on stage.
Author's Chapter Notes:
HI EVERYONE! sorry for the atrociously long delay but to say the least life has thrown me nothing but curve balls since the beginning of the year...but anyway no long sob stories, here's a new chapter and i HOPE that you all are still with me and love it :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave feedback!
