I woke up with just a bit of a hangover the next morning. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be given the amount I had to drink last night. I had still managed a very peaceful sleep. Have you ever opened your eyes in the morning and felt so warm and satisfied that you just wanted to make love to your mattress? You know, as a token of appreciation for the wonderful sleep it gave you. You just want to lie there cuddling the blanket and never get up. Yeah well that feeling lasted about three seconds from the time I gained consciousness to the settling of an aching pain. It was like a game of ping pong was taking place in my brain only instead of a tiny white ball it was a bowling ball that was being tossed back and forth, side to side in my head. But that too was shortly lived as the details of last night’s event came flooding through. I realized where I was and not just geographically, but also in the pickle I was now in.

It wasn’t the first time I’d found myself greeting the new day in someone else’s bed. There’d been plenty times – hey I never said I was a saint. I am a woman of the new millennia and as reserved as I appear to be I’m still a woman. A woman with needs and I’m not too shy to sate said needs. But it was the first time I woke up in my best friend turned former best friend to recently best friend and now possibly once again former friend’s bed. Whoo! Hope I didn’t lose you there.

I looked around but he was nowhere in sight. Which I was grateful for. I couldn’t look at him just yet. What would I say to him? “Hey how’s it goin’?” I had slept with Alex. Great. I had just gotten my friend back and now I’ve completely obliterated any chance of getting back the friendship we once had. I knew then that after last night nothing would ever be the same again. I’d lost him forever this time. God I don’t need this now.

I pulled the sheets down and was startled when I heard movement. Sitting up in bed I leaned forward towards the edge of the bed and there in all his glory was Alex lying butterball naked on the floor with just a square footage of the blanket I had just thrown off me covering his penis, standing at full attention might I add, with my panties on his head. Not a sight I wanted to see. I wanted to shriek but I held it inside and held a tightly fisted hand over my mouth. The last thing I wanted at this moment was to wake him up. I just wanted to get up, get dressed and get the hell out of there. With any luck he might not even remember this night and our friendship could still be salvaged, if I could just block this night out from my brain for the rest of my life. It’s possible right. With a little hard work, it might be an achievable goal.

I slipped out of bed as stealthily as possible. I located my clothes minus the panties and proceeded to put them on, all the while keeping my eyes locked on the edge of the bed, praying he wouldn’t get up. I was down to my shoes, nearly done, scanning the room for my purse. I found it laying on the nightstand. In one swift move, I snatched it. My heart fell when I saw what lay beneath it. It was like my heart had been ripped right out of my chest. I wanted to cry as I stared at the photograph that would be a permanent reminder of the previous night. Alex and I, in what appeared to me as a cheap dash and go chapel. No. This can’t be. I looked down at my hand for confirmation. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before, I hadn’t felt the weight of this monstrosity of a diamond ring on my left hand. How could this have happened? And how come I don’t have any recollection of it? And then anger kicked in and I didn’t give a damn about Alex waking up anymore.

I screamed in…I don’t know what this feeling was…disappointment…confusion…betrayal. Well whatever it was I didn’t like it. Alex jumped up.

“What the hell?” He asked still groggy.

“How the hell could you do this?” I spat at him.

“Could you please keep your voice down. It’s too early.” He grabbed his head evidence of a hangover and in the process knocked my panties off and even in his pain made note of the thin piece of fabric now resting on the floor beside him. He picked them up and just as he was about to bring his hand to his face I shouted.

“How dare you take advantage of me last night. And pull some shit like this.” Had he really been about to sniff my panties? PIG!

“Hey, I didn’t see you trying to fight me off. If I remember clearly you were all over me.” Clearly he was oblivious to the quickie wedding. I yanked the lace out of his hand as he made a second attempt to smell my undergarment.

“Yeah well you obviously don’t remember shit about last night.” Neither did I but I wasn’t going to give him that just then. “Thanks for ruining my life.” I threw our wedding photo at him and stormed out the door.

I had to leave. I had to get out of there and go as far away as possible. I know you all are thinking that running away is not the answer but let me tell you this- SHUT UP! When you wake up one morning, married to your best friend after a night of irresponsible drinking then you can talk to me about running. I bet you’ll find it to be the best option then.

I made it to eight steps when I hear Alex call out my name. “Grace!” I just kept on walking. “You think I ruined you life? Ever think maybe you just ruined mine.”

“Fuck you.” I yelled back.

“No thanks honey, already did that. I just can’t believe I’d marry you.”

“Me neither and keep your voice down.” I yelled back. Not only did I not want anyone overhearing this arguement but I also didn't want to voice out loud what had occured. Fueled by my boiling blood I kept on my path walking carelessly. I tripped and nearly twisted my ankle causing me to almost fall down on my ass. That just got me more angry. So much for my awesome dramatic exit. I hated that Alex had just seen me so clumsy. I was expecting to hear him say something or laugh but instead what I heard was the sound of a lock clicking. Idoit! Just keep walking Grace. Keep walking. I said to myself as I heard Alex trying to coax the door to open but of course his efforts proved futile. Don’t stop don’t look back. Two feet near the elevator I paused. Damn it! I turned around and saw Alex standing in front of the door, locked out of his own room, with nothing but bed sheets wrapped around him. Looking defeated. Like a lost little boy, his head hung down and then he looked up at me with a hint of helplessness and a handful of irritation.

I sighed. “Stairs or elevator.” I asked.

“Stairs.”

~

The walk down the stairway seemed longer than it actually was. My room was one floor below his, which suited me just fine. The sooner this was over with the sooner I could get away from him and leave all this mess behind me, momentarily at least. Home was looking good right about now. I’d rather be home and suffer the torture that is my family than this, although from a legal standpoint I guess Alex is now family too. I shivered and cursed myself for allowing the thought to linger in my head even for just a second. No! I tried to banish the thought. He’s not my family.

I dared a quick peek over my shoulder. His face was still stained crimson, not sure if it was painted by humiliation of agitation and his eyes told nothing. Either way I was grateful that he was not staring at my backside. It’s strange the things you think when the atmosphere around you is quiet. That’s why I have a love/hate relationship with silence. It’s great because it means no one’s going to eff with you but it also sucks because it lets your mind eff with you instead. It’s a double edged sword anyway you look at it. And at the moment I had more urgent things to worry about than that man looking at my bum.

We made it to my room without anyone catching us. That would have made a perfect topping for this day. I dug through my packed bags for something he could wear. I pulled out some grey sweat pants and tossed the over to him. Now don’t get me wrong, just because I was doing this for him didn’t mean I wasn’t upset with him anymore. I was still pissed off but we couldn’t have Alex running around the hotel ass naked could we? Though maybe I should have, would have served him right. I probably would have lost my job. Shit! Who was I kidding? I probably still was going to lose it after this mess and even if by some fluke I weren’t fired, I don’t think I could have continued to work so close to him anymore, not after this. Sure I had overlooked the past before but this was completely different. Any way you looked at it, I was out of a job.

“Honey Buns?” He read out loud. “You expect me to wear pants that say honey buns?”

“Well you don’t have to if you don’t want to. You can always go prancing around the lobby in your new man skirt.” I threw a shirt at him. Toga would have been more like it but I was too distressed to offer him a more manly suggestion.

“Oh hell no. The honey buns is one thing, but I’m sure as hell not going to wear a fucking pink shirt.” He threw it back at me.

“Awe, but Alex you look so lovely in pink.” I said dryly.

Already in the honey buns pants I gave him, he looked irritated as he thought it over. “Whatever, just give me the damn shirt.” He ordered with an expression on his face that read “I’m AJ McLean, I can get away with anything.”

As he opened the door to take his leave he said to me, “Thanks, I’ll make sure you get these back when I’m done.”

I guess I should have accepted his thank you but I didn't. “Oh no that’s okay, I don’t want them back.” He gave me a questioning look. “They have your germs on them.”

That questioning look quickly turned back into that smug one he had when I’d handed him the shirt. He walked back inside. “Germs?” He questioned as he inched toward me. He repeated this until he was standing before me, his face only inches away from mine. “You wanna talk about germs? You got my germs all over you right now.” Emphasizing his words with the circular motions of his hands, outlining my body.

“Argh!” I felt my face burn, I just knew my face was flushed and knowing he could see it only fueled my inner demon more driving me to the point that I was not rationalizing. So I may have acted without thinking. Before I even realized what I was doing I'd secured my hands on his chest and with all the strength I could summon, I pushed forward, knocking him down. He fell to ass first to the floor.

“Did you just push me?” He asked bewildered. The stunned look upon his face made it clear that he was not quite sure if it had really happened. Hell,I wasn’t quite sure myself. I think I shared his confusion. “What are you? Nine?”

That was childish and immature and most likely uncalled for. I admit this. Even I was startled by my actions. I wanted to apologize to him, really I did, but how do you apologize to a jackass- a jackass that you married in a drunken stupor? How do you say sorry when all you want to is pretend it never happened? I was upset with him. I don’t believe I’ve ever hated anyone as much as I hated him at that moment but if I were completely honest with myself I’d say the one I was really just angry at was myself. But that is not the case here. I was not at that point yet. I’d been stupid and careless and this was the result. So I did the only thing I could think of. What else do you do when you are so disgusted with yourself and can’t stand to shoulder the blame and refuse to accept any responsibility? You blame it on someone else. All I know is the amount of shame and the oh so colorful potpourri of unsorted emotions brewing inside of me didn’t leave much room for talking much less apologizing.

He’d left my room shortly after and in less time than it took him to stand up and shake it off and he’d done so quietly, without uttering a word. I occupied myself with the task of repacking the few items I’d tossed out while searching for something for Alex to wear. As I neatly refolded I noticed I could have so easily given him something more manly to wear, well, maybe not manly but certainly less girly. But I’d given into the temptation of humiliating him and let him saunter out of here in a cute outfit. Not one of my proudest moments but I still have to say if I could replay that whole scene again I’d probably do the same thing. You have to admit it was funny.

I cracked the door open and peeked out to make sure the hall was clear. Armed with my bags, sunglasses and a baseball cap I made a run for the elevator, said a silent prayer that I could make it without being intercepted anyone and by anyone I meant Leigh. I know she’d just have to have one of her half an hour goodbyes and I just wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as humanly possible. Knowing her and her “uncanny psychic” (notice the quotes there, she’s great but there’s nothing supernatural about her.) abilities, she’d know something was wrong and demand to know what it was. I couldn’t face her. Not now, and when I did I certainly would never mention to her a thing about my marriage. Marriage-that word still feels a little strange coming off my tongue.